Tag: Remembering

Pivotal Moments

Published on by katiesencouragementforyou15 Comments

Pivotal moments in life.  Moments that change the entire trajectory of one’s life.  I had some pivotal moments my freshman and sophomore years in college.

At the end of my freshman year in college, I began a relationship with the Lord.  I accepted what Jesus did on the cross as the sacrifice for my sins.  I accepted God’s forgiveness.  I asked God’s Spirit to come into my life and make me the person He wanted me to be.

Wow, did He answer that prayer!  Suddenly, when I went to the bar with the girls, and I was tempted to overindulge, I could sense God’s presence and guidance leading me away from those situations.  As I spent time with the Lord, He changed my desires, and I didn’t desire to put myself in those situations anymore.

When I messed up, and did not yield to God’s guidance, I felt such guilt and unworthiness.  I had walked away from the One, who loved me so perfectly.

I messed up majorly especially in the beginning of my walk with the Lord and experienced such remorse.   I don’t think the guilty and unworthy feelings came from the Lord.  I think they came from me, from Satan, and from believing the lies–Satan told me–first to draw me into sin, and then to beat me up–after I sinned.

In my fall term of my Sophomore year in college, I went on a Fall Retreat with the christian group that had been a part of me hearing the gospel, and trusting Christ to be my Savior.  At that retreat, I was asked to be in a discipleship bible study, where I would be learning to share my faith, and I would also be learning how to lead bible studies.  Eventually I would teach others how to share their faith, lead others in bible studies and teach others how to lead bible studies.

I felt so unworthy to be in this study.  I felt scared to be in this study.  I desperately wanted to be in this study.  

I remember going off by myself to have a quiet time with the Lord, and asking Him what He wanted me to do.  Now, I was a very young believer, and I knew God’s Word had the answers for me, but I didn’t know God’s Word very well.  So, I prayed, “God, I don’t know what you want me to do.  I am going to open this book of Yours, and just read whatever it says when it falls open.  Please speak to me, and tell me what you want me to do?”

I opened to:  ‘But get up and stand on your feet; for this purpose I have appeared to you, to appoint you a minister and a witness not only to the things which you have seen, but also to the things in which I will appear to you; rescuing you from the Jewish people and from the Gentiles, to whom I am sending you,  to open their eyes so that they may turn from darkness to light and from the dominion of Satan to God, that they may receive forgiveness of sins and an inheritance among those who have been sanctified by faith in Me.’ Acts 26:16-18

I can’t really explain what happened, but it was as if the Lord Himself was speaking to me through the words I was reading.  The words leapt off the page, and I heard them being spoken in my head, but not by my voice.  It was a voice of power, authority, and yet love.

This was a pivotal moment in my life–from which the rest of my life had direction.

I went on to be in that discipleship bible study.  I went on to lead others and disciple others.  I went on to go on full time staff with that christian organization, and then later volunteer on staff with it.  I met my husband when I was on staff with this organization, as he was also on staff with it.   

In writing this blog, I am seeking to fulfill God’s purpose that He gave me, so, so many years ago.  I am seeking to tell my stories–because they point to Him.  He is the author and perfecter of my faith.  Hebrews 12: 2

It helps me to look back and see God’s hand in my life–to see that after all this time He has not let go.

“My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me; and I give eternal life to them, and they will never perish; and no one will snatch them out of My hand.  John 10:27, 28

I hope this story encourages you to look at your own life, and see your own pivotal moments.  I hope my story encourages you to remember that even though we may be tempted to feel unworthy and guilty, we have been given worth and forgiveness and love.  

May We Be Encouraged!

Picture of the young women on my floor, my freshman year of college.

Sean’s Birthday Blog

Published on by katiesencouragementforyou20 Comments

Yesterday was my son Sean’s birthday.  He would have been 29 years old. I spent the morning of his birthday with Sean’s 3 red-haired nieces, his older brother’s girls.  They sang “Happy Birthday” to their Uncle Sean–making sure they included the “Cha-cha-chas.

Then, I had lunch with my mom, and lo and behold, there was a red cardinal in the yard. .  If you don’t know the story of the legend of the red cardinal, you can click here to read my blog about it.  

After that lovely time, I went home, and celebrated Sean’s birthday with my husband and other children and grandchildren.  We had pizza, (mine was with a cauliflower crust) 🙂  And we sat around the big 10 foot table that we had inherited from my mother-in-law, telling stories, and laughing.  Some of our stories were about Sean, and some were just about life.  And all of it was good.

On Seans’ birthday, I cried, and I laughed—and once again thanked God for the gift of Sean James.  (We named Sean—Sean—as it is the Irish way of saying John, and we named him James, after my Uncle Jim.  My Uncle Jim is my Dad’s younger brother—also the third boy in his family, and he was so loving and kind—and that is how I hoped my son would be as well.  And he was, and I believe that he still is.)

May We Be Encouraged!!

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My Father’s Day Blog :)

Published on by katiesencouragementforyou13 Comments

This week, I was at the store, shopping for my husband’s Father’s Day gift with my youngest daughter.

As we were walking towards the check-out line, I noticed these beautiful yellow roses.  They practically begged me to take them home with me.  I said to my daughter, “I’m going to get these yellow roses for your dad for Father’s Day.  They are really for me, but I’ll tell Dad, they are for him. 🙂 “  My daughter laughed, and we picked up the roses, and proceeded to check-out.

While we were standing in line, the woman behind us commented on our beautiful flowers.  I told her that I was getting them for my husband for Father’s Day, but they were really for me. 🙂  She laughed and said that this was the way her young son also shopped for Father’s Day.  Her son was with her, and was probably 4 or 5 years old.  Apparently he had gotten his dad a ball for Father’s day. 🙂  

Then the woman commented on our flowers again, asking where they were, as she wanted to go back to get some.  She told us that yellow flowers are the symbol for flowers connected with cancer and that she lost her 18 month old son to cancer.

I looked at her, and said, “I am so sorry.  That is so hard,” then I paused before I said, ” I have also lost a son.”  We both shared a look that parents who have lost a child share–that immediately bonds you, because you’ve both endured one of the worst things a parent has to endure. 

Then I said, “Can I give you a hug?”  She said “Yes.”   As we hugged, I said, “We are going to see them again someday.”   She said, “I know.  I tell my sons they need to be good so they can see their brother in Heaven.”

I looked at her, and asked God to give me the words to say, to comfort and share the hope that is within, and from my mouth came these words, “At my son’s funeral, my husband shared about Jesus dying on the cross between two criminals.  One of the criminals asked Jesus to remember him, when Jesus came into His Kingdom, and Jesus told the criminal that he would be with Him in paradise that day. My husband told everyone that the criminal hadn’t done anything to deserve heaven, or a relationship with God, he just received it as a gift.” The woman nodded her head, indicating she understood what I was saying. Ephesians 2:8,9

Then I told the woman, “I’m going to buy these flowers, and give them to you, they are my gift to you and your husband, in honor of your son.”

At first she said, “No, you don’t have to”, but then she received them gladly.

There were tears in my daughter’s eyes as we left, and when we were in the car she told me, “Mom, I wish I was rich, I would have paid for all of those woman’s groceries.”   I told her, “After your brother died, people were very kind, and they gave us meals, flowers, money for Sean’s trust, and it was really, really wonderful to know people cared.  But, God was the only One who could reach deep inside to our souls, and really comfort us.  Let’s pray for that woman right now, that she would understand that God is offering her Himself—and a relationship with Him is a gift–that she just needs to accept, like she accepted our gift of the roses.  She doesn’t have to work for it—she just has to accept it.  God can comfort her, in a way, no one else can.”

And we bowed our heads and prayed.   If you are reading this blog, I’m praying that if you haven’t accepted the gift of a relationship with the Father of all Fathers, and the King of all Kings–that you too will understand that it is not something you have to work for–it is a gift for you to accept.

Happy Father’s Day Everyone!!    May We Be Encouraged!!

He loves like a Father Should!! Hallejujah!! Nothing can separate us from the love of God!! Romans 8:38-39 (These are all lines in this song, except Romans 8:38-39, where the line: Nothing can separate us from the love of God, is found.)

Contentment

Published on by katiesencouragementforyou24 Comments

There have been certain seasons in my life when I’ve struggled with being content more than I have in other seasons.  For instance, when I was 26 years old, I really wanted to be married and have children.  Now, I was not even dating anyone when I was 26 years old.  In fact, between the ages of 25-28 years old, I did not date anyone.  (Since I had had a boyfriend from the time I was allowed to date at the age of 16—this was a new situation for me.)

So how did I deal with this season of singleness, and find contentment in it?   I reasoned that God gave me this great desire to be married and have children, so He would meet that desire in His timing, and so I needed to choose joy in the moment I was in.   So, when I got to wake up late on a Saturday morning, I would think….I’m going to be grateful that I got to sleep in today.  Someday, I’ll be married and have children, and I will not get to sleep in. (I was right about that–by the way!! )

I would think this way about many things—any time I got to do something for myself—go to the library, take a walk—it could be something really simple—but I would thank God for that time, for that moment.   I cultivated a habit of gratitude, of being thankful—and I must tell you it really helped.  It helped then, and it is helping now.

I’m in a new season of life right now.  I am retired, (from being a homeschooling mom and my husband’s partner in our construction company).  I have grown children and small grandchildren. What used to give me a sense of purpose and direction –has changed.  I’m in a new season of life.  And, just as I did all those years ago, I am choosing gratitude as a pathway to contentment. I am living in the moment I’m in, and I am thankful.  I am choosing to walk with the Father, and enjoy Him in the moment I’m in.  It’s a good moment.  It’s a good day.  Life is all a great, great gift, from a good, good Father.

May We Be Encouraged!!

Lessons in Mommy Land

Published on by katiesencouragementforyou26 Comments

Let me set the scene.  My oldest and only child at that time was 3 years old.  I was pregnant with my second child.  Since I had quit my job when this child was 2 months old, we had seldom been separated.  I was one of those moms who had to be “encouraged” to leave her child in the nursery during church services. If I needed to go work out, or go to any evening meetings, my husband was with my son.

My son had a terrible case of separation anxiety, because I was rarely out of his sight.

My mother-in-law came for a week long visit and wanted to go shopping for the day. My husband and I decided to ask a family from church, who had a 12 year old son, if they could watch our son for the day.  We would pay the 12 year old, but the mom would be supervising both boys.

I was nervous all day long.  Was my son getting upset, was he missing me? (This was before the days of the cell phone, so I had no way of finding out.) When the long day of shopping finally ended, and we went to pick up my son, I thought he would throw himself into my arms and hug me in relief that I had finally come.

My son took one look at me coming through the door and said, “No, go away!!”  Then he turned away from me.   This was the last thing I had expected.  

Apparently such a great time of playing was happening, my son did not want it to end.  My arrival meant the end to all the fun.

This was my first lesson of letting go with my children.  This was my first lesson in realizing that my value and significance didn’t rest in and upon my children, or in me, “being a good mom.”

I’ve had many, many lessons over the past 34 years of being a mom.  The biggest lesson I have learned is that my children aren’t my God, and I am not theirs.

What do I mean by this?  I mean that my children have been given their lives by God, and they answer to Him for the decisions they make as adults, not to me.  Conversely, I have been given my life by God, and I answer to God for my decisions, not to my children.

I cannot fill their lives, and they cannot fill mine.  God is the only One who can fill our lives.

What does this mean in practical terms?  It means when my adult children are making decisions I disagree with, and they have not asked for my opinion or advice, I keep my mouth shut.  If they are asking me to help them out, then I talk about the situation with my husband, and we talk about the situation with the Lord.   Sometimes we help them, and sometimes we don’t, depending on how the Lord directs through His Word, counsel and Spirit.   

It has been incredibly freeing to let God be God, and realize that I am not God, and my children, husband, friends and family are not my God.  They cannot fill me anymore than I can fill them.   This realization has set me free to love others unconditionally.  Perhaps that is what God means when He says, “Be still, and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10   There is peace and rest, in letting God be God.

May We Be Encouraged!!

Reaching Out

Published on by katiesencouragementforyou11 Comments

Have you ever wanted someone to suffer for the wrongs they did to you or to the ones you love?  If so, maybe you’ll like this next story of mine.

I wrote a blog about my fast, and how it was very uncomfortable spiritually and physically.   One of the things that made it very uncomfortable was that I kept remembering hurtful things that had been said and done to me and mine.  I know that God kept bringing these things to mind, so that I would forgive from the heart these offenses, but actually what it resulted in was several conversations with the Lord, where I told him how mad I was about what had happened. To me, it looked like these people got away scot free—with no actual consequences for their actions. It seemed wrong that they should not be disciplined for their actions.   I mean–I reasoned with the Lord–every good parent disciplines their children–why were these children escaping discipline?

I know what you’re thinking–”who am I to question the Lord?”  And in one way, you’re absolutely right—who am I to question the Lord?   In another way—God is teaching me to be totally honest with Him—and so I have been—even when it seems presumptuous. I mean, who do I think I’m fooling, God knows what I’m thinking anyway.

Weeks after questioning the Lord, I got an answer.  I was remembering how when my children were younger, they would often question my husband and I.  

“Why did you let my sister do that?  We would never have gotten away with that.  We would have been disciplined.” or we would hear, “My brother did this to me, and you didn’t do anything to him. He didn’t even tell me that he was sorry.”

To which we would respond:  “You don’t see the whole picture.  We did talk with your sister.  She did receive consequences—it’s just not your business to know them.” or we would respond, “We are so sad that your brother hurt you, and that he did not ask for your forgiveness. He was given consequences, but we can’t make him ask for your forgiveness, anymore than we can ‘make’ you forgive him.” (When our children were really young we would have them face each other, tell the offended person that they were sorry, and the offended person would say, I forgive you—however there is a certain age where while a parent can suggest these actions—the child is old enough to choose to do the right or wrong thing, without compulsion.)

I drew in a deep breath after I remembered this—-it was if a ding went off in my brain.  As though the Lord, Himself were saying to me, “You don’t see the whole picture.  I did deal with this person, they did receive consequences—it’s just not your business to know them.” I also realized that God has given us free will, and He can’t make the other person ask for my forgiveness, anymore than He can make me forgive.

To which I responded:  “Forgive me Father, for doubting You and Your parenting skills, and please give me the power to forgive this person from my heart, even though they never asked for forgiveness from me. “

Then just today, I was driving along, and I remembered a time when I acted in a way that could have been hurtful to someone else.  In fact, it was a very similar situation in which I had been hurt and wronged by others.  

Again, I experienced the Lord’s presence.  I knew He gave me this memory to show me my own heart—a heart in need of Him and His forgiveness, and others’ forgiveness.

Perhaps you have your own questions to ask God, about hurts in your life– either hurts you’ve received, or hurts you’ve given.

Those are all valid questions to ask God.  Those are all really good things to talk about with Him. Perhaps the answer will come right away, or weeks later, or years later—but God is seeing.  God is listening—and He is big enough to handle any and all questions, even questions that seem angry or presumptuous.  That’s because He sees the emotion behind the anger–He sees our fear. He sees the real question–“Are You really with me? Scripture tells me You are always with me–so help me to see this situation as You saw it, and as You see it. Help me to know what You want me to know about this, and then tell me what You want me to do.”

He is our Dad.  He loves us.  He wants us to have a relationship with Him where the walls come down—and we are absolutely honest with Him and honest with ourselves.  Why?  Because then He can deal with the lies that we believe about Him, about others and about ourselves.

God wants to deal with those lies, as they are the things that stop us from really loving Him, from loving each other, and forgiving each other.  They are the lies that destroy us.  So let us go to our Abba and give Him our truth, so that we can receive His truth and His healing.

May We Be Encouraged!!

Lies and Fear

Published on by katiesencouragementforyou35 Comments

I’m going to tell some stories on myself—-I’m going to tell you about a few times in my life when I was believing lies, and when I was really afraid.  Why?  Maybe you can relate.  Either, you’ve also believed lies, or you have been really afraid—or maybe you are currently believing lies, and you are currently afraid.

The first story is about a time when I believed my value came from the externals versus the internals. For instance: my husband was building us a home, and I thought the home would look better with a hip roof, and a stucco exterior. 

 I said I wanted these things for resale value, but if I’m being honest with myself and with you all—a big part of my reason for wanting this was because I thought if my house looked better, others would value me more.  Honestly, this thinking pointed to lies I was believing—one that I felt I was lacking—so much so, that others needed an incentive to be my friend, two–that having lots of friends would bring me value, and three that when God said I had value, because He made me, forgave me, and loved me—I didn’t really believe Him, I believed the lies instead.

Because my husband loves me, he did build the home with a hip roof, but he could not find a sub contractor to do the stucco work, so it did not have a stucco exterior.  

The second story happened a couple years after the first story—-my husband had built a spec house after we built a home for ourselves, and we also had another house on the market and the economy was suddenly falling.  

We had 4 small children, we had massive debt, and we were afraid.  I was really afraid.  And I was still believing lies.   These were the lies—  “God, where are You, right now?   We are drowning!!  Are You going to save us?  Are You angry with us?  Have You left us?”

We did sell one of our homes. We put our custom home that had to have the hip roof, along with other wonderful unique features–on the market–and it sold before our spec home sold—so we ended up living in the spec house.

And what did I learn?   Yes—God did have us, but His ways were not my ways, His thoughts were not my thoughts—and my truth—was not necessarily—His truth.

What do I mean by that?   I thought if I had things—it meant I would be loved and I would be secure—-such a lie!!   The truth—I am loved, and you are loved–with an everlasting love.    This is also the truth–I am secure, as are you!  This is harder to believe when circumstances tell us differently—but scripture tells us–that we are in God’s Hands, and no one can snatch us out of His Hands.  John 10:27-29

 God’s way of taking care of my family—was different from the way I initially thought He should and would take care of us.   He had something way better for us than nice things—-He had Himself.   He did want us to live and have our needs met—-He has withheld no good thing from us.   But more than all the things—-He wanted us to have Him.  He wanted us to believe the truth.  He wanted us to be free from fear.

God has us, even when it seems we are free-falling.  He is holding onto us–and He won’t let us go.

May We Be Encouraged!!

Why do I celebrate Easter?

Published on by katiesencouragementforyou8 Comments

Ramadan and Lent started on the same day this year.  I have many friends who are Muslim, and I was excited to be fasting and praying during the same time that they were fasting and praying.  I would send them texts during this time—”It’s the 23rd day of fasting!  Yay!!”  I even invited myself over to one of my friend’s homes with some other friends—telling her not to fix us anything as we were fasting too–we just wanted to chat with her–but she made tea, and served little cakes.  Really the gift of hospitality is so precious and wonderfully practised by our friends.  Now their Ramadan is over with, but our Lent still continues–and in less than 2 weeks, we will celebrate Easter!!

I’ve written about our International Tea Group, and how we meet once a month, and ask a question for everyone to answer.  During one Tea time, during the month of December, quite a few years ago, one of our Muslim friends asked us to explain why Christmas was important to us?

So for this blog, I thought I’d answer,  “Why is Easter Important to me?”  (Actually when I was single, my roommate and I had a group of Muslim students over for Easter dinner—and they actually did ask us a similar question, they asked:  “Why do you celebrate Easter?”   The following is my answer:

I was raised going to church.  I am so grateful to my parents, who took us to church every Sunday, and prayed with us, and made sure we received education in the faith.  I had a sense that God loved me, but at the same time, God seemed a long, long way away from me.  And when I was doing things that I knew were wrong, I was really grateful that God seemed a long way away from me. In fact I was really hoping He would not notice what I was doing or thinking.

When I went away to college, I really broke away from my parents and their teaching and training.  I still went to church on Sunday, but I was just paying lip service to God.  I was doing many things that I knew in my heart were wrong.  

Then in March of my freshman year, my roommate, (who had been my best friend during my freshman year), told me that she now knew God personally and that her sins were forgiven.

I had gone away for the weekend to visit my parents, and when I came back–my roommate had become a Jesus freak.  And I was the one who was freaking out.  I was curt to my roommate, I tried to avoid her and inside I was thinking, “Who does she think she is—she isn’t perfect—and I’m the one who still goes to church every Sunday?”

However, at the same time I was thinking– “what’s wrong with me, that I am being so hateful to my roommate?”

Then, after a time of me being curt and angry with my roommate, she turned to me and said, “You know Katie, I’m not perfect, I’m just forgiven.”   It felt like an arrow pierced my heart.  How I longed for that—to know that I was forgiven.

When I went to bed I prayed to God.   “Lord, I want to know that I am forgiven by You.  I want to know You.  Thank You – Jesus dying on the cross to pay for the penalty of my sins.  Thank You for rising from the dead, and showing me through that –that someday I will rise from the dead too.  Please come into my life, forgive me, and make me a new person.”

I did experience God’s presence flooding my heart, and His love surrounding me, (although not everyone experiences this–and their decision of faith is just as valid as mine.)

I made this decision about a month before Easter.  When I went home to celebrate Easter and go to church with my family—church seemed different than it  ever had before.  It was as if the words were alive, and were actually feeding my soul.   God did not seem distant at all.  It seemed He was all around me.  His love was the realest thing in my life.

That’s why Easter is important to me.  Easter is when we celebrate Jesus–God incarnate– coming to earth, dying on the cross, and rising from the dead—all to bring the Kingdom of God–to earth.  All to bring God close to each of us.  All so that we could know God, know His love, and know His forgiveness.  

May the rest of Lent help prepare our Hearts so that we can all truly celebrate the miracle of the Resurrection!!  And May We Be Encouraged!!

Today is Gonna Be A Good Day!

Published on by katiesencouragementforyou24 Comments

When my daughter was 7,

she made me a sign, that says:

“Today is a Gonna be a Good day.” 

She made me this sign a year after I lost my son, Sean James.

I have that sign propped up on the table beside my bed.

“ TODAY is Gonna be a GOOD DAY!!” 

What a thought to open my eyes to, when some days I don’t want to open my eyes.

 During the winter months, when the dark, gray days permeate my spirit, I see this sign: 

“Today is Gonna be a Good day.” 

I find it a little easier to hang on through the winter.

 This week, the sun has been shining, and snow has been melting, and I am thinking about that sign:

“TODAY is Gonna be a GOOD DAY!!”

I can smell spring in the air—the birds are coming back.  The weather is warmer—not warm—but not freezing.

My spirits are rising.  Hope is in the air.  New Life is in the air.

“TODAY is gonna be a GOOD DAY!!”

I have the same problems.  My trials have not gone away.  But somehow, my burdens seem a little lighter.  It is easier to put those things I have no control over, in the Father’s Hands.  It is easier to put the things I think I have control over in the Father’s Hands.

Spring is coming!!  New life will overcome death and decay!! 

“TODAY is a GONNA BE a GOOD DAY!!”

“TODAY IS GONNA BE A GOOD DAY!!”