Many of you know that I attend a Celebrate Recovery Group. This group helps people with their hurts, habits and hang-ups. People have the opportunity to find freedom in Christ, and speak the truth about their lives–perhaps for the very first time. This man Tyrone Tompkins, is not associated with CR, as far as I know, but he is someone who speaks the truth about his formerly desperate, broken, rage-filled life, and about how Christ set him free to be who he was made to be. I find these testimonies so hope-breathing. I pray you are encouraged as well!!
Click here to find a Celebrate Recovery Group near you: Celebrate Recovery
My boss and I were driving together in her car, and she started to open up to me about her life. She told me that her husband left her. He had had an affair, and she was left to raise their children on her own.
I was feeling so badly for her and the pain she had gone through in her life. Then, we walked into her home, and she told me that she had had an affair with a married man, after her husband left her. She made some comment justifying her actions, but all I could think about was, “Wait!! You were terribly hurt because your husband had an affair and left you, but somehow it’s okay for you to do the same thing, and possibly cause another woman the same pain? Can’t you see how wrong that is?”
I did not verbalize any of this out loud–as she was my boss. But, as a very young woman, I don’t think I could keep the look of shock and disappointment from appearing on my face.
Why am I relaying this story?
Well, because the ability that we as human beings have to justify our actions while condemning someone else for doing the exact same thing, never fails to amaze me. We are so totally blind to our own sin, while judging someone else for theirs.
People are writing truly hateful things on social media—while naming the people they are writing to–as haters. They don’t even see the hypocrisy of what they are doing.
In reality, we all—(who have been made in God’s image)—fall so, so short of being who we were made to be.
Thank you God for sending Jesus—-the lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world.
We all so desperately need Jesus to take our sins away. We all so desperately need Jesus to fill us with His love. We all so desperately need Jesus to give us the power to live in this world.
Have you ever wanted someone to suffer for the wrongs they did to you or to the ones you love? If so, maybe you’ll like this next story of mine.
I wrote a blog about my fast, and how it was very uncomfortable spiritually and physically. One of the things that made it very uncomfortable was that I kept remembering hurtful things that had been said and done to me and mine. I know that God kept bringing these things to mind, so that I would forgive from the heart these offenses, but actually what it resulted in was several conversations with the Lord, where I told him how mad I was about what had happened. To me, it looked like these people got away scot free—with no actual consequences for their actions. It seemed wrong that they should not be disciplined for their actions. I mean–I reasoned with the Lord–every good parent disciplines their children–why were these children escaping discipline?
I know what you’re thinking–”who am I to question the Lord?” And in one way, you’re absolutely right—who am I to question the Lord? In another way—God is teaching me to be totally honest with Him—and so I have been—even when it seems presumptuous. I mean, who do I think I’m fooling, God knows what I’m thinking anyway.
Weeks after questioning the Lord, I got an answer. I was remembering how when my children were younger, they would often question my husband and I.
“Why did you let my sister do that? We would never have gotten away with that. We would have been disciplined.” or we would hear, “My brother did this to me, and you didn’t do anything to him. He didn’t even tell me that he was sorry.”
To which we would respond: “You don’t see the whole picture. We did talk with your sister. She did receive consequences—it’s just not your business to know them.” or we would respond, “We are so sad that your brother hurt you, and that he did not ask for your forgiveness. He was given consequences, but we can’t make him ask for your forgiveness, anymore than we can ‘make’ you forgive him.” (When our children were really young we would have them face each other, tell the offended person that they were sorry, and the offended person would say, I forgive you—however there is a certain age where while a parent can suggest these actions—the child is old enough to choose to do the right or wrong thing, without compulsion.)
I drew in a deep breath after I remembered this—-it was if a ding went off in my brain. As though the Lord, Himself were saying to me, “You don’t see the whole picture. I did deal with this person, they did receive consequences—it’s just not your business to know them.” I also realized that God has given us free will, and He can’t make the other person ask for my forgiveness, anymore than He can make me forgive.
To which I responded: “Forgive me Father, for doubting You and Your parenting skills, and please give me the power to forgive this person from my heart, even though they never asked for forgiveness from me. “
Then just today, I was driving along, and I remembered a time when I acted in a way that could have been hurtful to someone else. In fact, it was a very similar situation in which I had been hurt and wronged by others.
Again, I experienced the Lord’s presence. I knew He gave me this memory to show me my own heart—a heart in need of Him and His forgiveness, and others’ forgiveness.
Perhaps you have your own questions to ask God, about hurts in your life– either hurts you’ve received, or hurts you’ve given.
Those are all valid questions to ask God. Those are all really good things to talk about with Him. Perhaps the answer will come right away, or weeks later, or years later—but God is seeing. God is listening—and He is big enough to handle any and all questions, even questions that seem angry or presumptuous. That’s because He sees the emotion behind the anger–He sees our fear. He sees the real question–“Are You really with me? Scripture tells me You are always with me–so help me to see this situation as You saw it, and as You see it. Help me to know what You want me to know about this, and then tell me what You want me to do.”
He is our Dad. He loves us. He wants us to have a relationship with Him where the walls come down—and we are absolutely honest with Him and honest with ourselves. Why? Because then He can deal with the lies that we believe about Him, about others and about ourselves.
God wants to deal with those lies, as they are the things that stop us from really loving Him, from loving each other, and forgiving each other. They are the lies that destroy us. So let us go to our Abba and give Him our truth, so that we can receive His truth and His healing.
We had another really lovely International Tea this past week. Zulfia was our hostess, (she gave me permission to use her name). She made some incredible food. She told us that she wanted to treat us, and not to bring a dish to pass, (although we did bring a few things). Oh–the food!!!–grilled salmon, cheese tikka marsala–she made the cheese herself, seasoned and fragrant rice, naan bread—just to name a few of the many, many things we had.
Here are some pictures from the last tea. Zulfia blessed us so much, by gifting us with this amazing time and all this delicious food. 🙂 (I got permission to use pictures with the backs of other’s heads—so I’m mostly going to focus on the food. 🙂 )
We counted 13 countries represented at the tea: Russia, South Korea, Bangladesh, Pakistan, India, Afghanistan, Saudi Arabia, Jordan, Egypt, Turkey, Germany, Colombia, and the USA. Usually we ask the same question to everyone–for each person to answer, but this time Zulfia had a game where we each drew a question to answer. There was great laughter, and there were also tears. I was asked this question: if you only had 5 more years to live, what would you change about your life. I answered, that after my son Sean died, I realized that I wanted to be much more present with people, especially my husband and children, and not so distracted. I want to really live each and every moment with the thought that I might never have this moment again.
That is part of the reason I am writing blogs about the International Teas. I’m praying God uses them to start a movement of others doing their own teas. Why? Because God made all of us. God loves all of us. God wants us to love each other. It’s as simple as that. It’s as profound as that. When we do this we defeat the evil one who wants us to marginalize, dehumanize, vilify and victimize each other. (My husband, a student of history, gave me these terms—and said that this is what we see wherever and whenever we see the work of the evil one.)
Jesus tells us that the thief comes to kill, steal and destroy. Whenever there is killing, stealing and destroying we see the work of the evil one. Jesus also tells us that the devil is the Father of lies. These are the tools of Satan–whose biggest lie is to convince us that God is not good, and does not love us.
We win by believing God–for He always tells the truth–and He tells us to not be afraid and to love one another. We don’t need to fear, because God is holding each of us, and He won’t let us go. That doesn’t mean nothing bad will ever happen to us–but it does mean God is with us, He walks with us–and will carry us home to be with Him when our time on this earth is over. If we choose to love each other—God wins!! If we choose to trust God and not fear–God wins!! I don’t know about you—but wouldn’t you like to see God win? We know He does win in the end—but wouldn’t you like to see Him win now—in the hearts and minds of people. I really would! I really would! Please join me in trusting God and in loving God and each other.
I’m going to tell some stories on myself—-I’m going to tell you about a few times in my life when I was believing lies, and when I was really afraid. Why? Maybe you can relate. Either, you’ve also believed lies, or you have been really afraid—or maybe you are currently believing lies, and you are currently afraid.
The first story is about a time when I believed my value came from the externals versus the internals. For instance: my husband was building us a home, and I thought the home would look better with a hip roof, and a stucco exterior.
I said I wanted these things for resale value, but if I’m being honest with myself and with you all—a big part of my reason for wanting this was because I thought if my house looked better, others would value me more. Honestly, this thinking pointed to lies I was believing—one that I felt I was lacking—so much so, that others needed an incentive to be my friend, two–that having lots of friends would bring me value, and three that when God said I had value, because He made me, forgave me, and loved me—I didn’t really believe Him, I believed the lies instead.
Because my husband loves me, he did build the home with a hip roof, but he could not find a sub contractor to do the stucco work, so it did not have a stucco exterior.
The second story happened a couple years after the first story—-my husband had built a spec house after we built a home for ourselves, and we also had another house on the market and the economy was suddenly falling.
We had 4 small children, we had massive debt, and we were afraid. I was really afraid. And I was still believing lies. These were the lies— “God, where are You, right now? We are drowning!! Are You going to save us? Are You angry with us? Have You left us?”
We did sell one of our homes. We put our custom home that had to have the hip roof, along with other wonderful unique features–on the market–and it sold before our spec home sold—so we ended up living in the spec house.
And what did I learn? Yes—God did have us, but His ways were not my ways, His thoughts were not my thoughts—and my truth—was not necessarily—His truth.
What do I mean by that? I thought if I had things—it meant I would be loved and I would be secure—-such a lie!! The truth—I am loved, and you are loved–with an everlasting love. This is also the truth–I am secure, as are you! This is harder to believe when circumstances tell us differently—but scripture tells us–that we are in God’s Hands, and no one can snatch us out of His Hands. John 10:27-29
God’s way of taking care of my family—was different from the way I initially thought He should and would take care of us. He had something way better for us than nice things—-He had Himself. He did want us to live and have our needs met—-He has withheld no good thing from us. But more than all the things—-He wanted us to have Him. He wanted us to believe the truth. He wanted us to be free from fear.
God has us, even when it seems we are free-falling. He is holding onto us–and He won’t let us go.
Over this past Lent, I did a lot of fasting, and I must tell you—it was not like anything I’ve experienced before–and I don’t mean that in a good way. No—there was a great deal of physical and spiritual detoxing.
Physically–I was cold—at times shaking—at times hyperventilating.
Spiritually—and mentally—I was remembering things I have not thought of in a long time. Times of being hurt. Times of being judged. Times of being rejected.
All, in all, it was very uncomfortable.
On top of all that, I would find myself having a time of prayer with the Lord, and then just, sitting before Him, crying and crying. Such grief, such sorrow. Now, I’ve experienced grief and sorrow—but these times—I did not know why I was crying. I was just crying.
Honestly, I thought—wow—I’m definitely not the poster child for fasting. Others have talked about how close they felt to the Lord, how they were feasting on the Lord instead of food, and what a mountaintop experience their fasting was. I thought—if anyone talks to me—they will never want to go on a fast.
Yet, I did experience some benefits from fasting. I did lose weight–but it was how my body felt that I truly valued. My joints felt good. My body felt strong and energetic. And a huge benefit to this was—I got to do physical things I might have had difficulty with before.
For instance, all 7 of my grandchildren had the same time off for Spring Break, and so incredibly—all of them came to my house for a few days. We had a “Cousin Camp”!! And since I was coming off a time of fasting—-I had the energy—to do this Cousin Camp! I can not tell you just how much fun I had! And my grandchildren were so so good, and so fun! (To me—this was a huge gift from God—-practically on a miracle level!) (My daughters and my husband were all –100%—involved in making Cousin Camp a huge success! 🙂 )
So—what is my final evaluation of this time of fasting?
It was hard. The detoxing is still happening. Yet, I think some healing also happened. Forgiveness happened. Grieving happened. God showed up—but not in the way I thought He was going to show up, (and honestly this has been the truth of my life—God has shown up—but not in the way I thought He was going to show up.)
The blessings of this fast were also unexpected—and I can not tell you how miraculous they were—the time with my grandchildren and family—the energy to be with them. And then ending that time with a family day at the Zoo! 🙂
Would I do a fast like this again? Yes—I would. I did this fast after reading about fasting, after talking with others who had medical training and wisdom, and after God called me to do it—and if those things were in place at a future time—I would definitely do such a thing again.
I think I would go into a fast like this again—trying not to have any expectations—with open hands and an open heart. I did experience God strengthening me and giving me the grace to do this. I did experience the Lord’s presence. I also experienced: hardship–spiritually, mentally and physically.
When my fast was over with, I experienced the feast of being with family—-and it was truly beyond anything I could have asked or hoped for.
God’s blessings to you and yours!! May you be encouraged!! 🙂
My 3 year old granddaugher taught me this song during one of our songfests during bedtime at our “Cousin Camp” last week—so I had to share it with you all! 🙂
Last week, my husband went to visit some of his firefighter friends before their training meeting. He took some cookies that I made for the guys and talked with them about how they were doing.
Apparently, they are short-staffed, and many fire departments are experiencing a shortage in their departments–in full-time, part-time and volunteer positions. I just want to give a shout out to anyone who is reading this blog who may have dreamed of being a firefighter when they were younger—perhaps now is the time to check into making that dream come true.
Firefighters are amazing people–they put their lives on the line for other people.
In less than a week, we will be celebrating Easter. We will be celebrating Jesus, the visual image of the invisible God, because He laid down His life for us. He died for us. He rose from the dead. He suffered for us, to end suffering for us in the life to come.
Firefighters are not gods, they are real people with real problems—yet they show me character qualities that are truly god-like. They serve. They put their lives on the line for us. They suffer to help alleviate suffering.
So to all firefighters—thank you so much for your service!! We really, really appreciate you!! May you be encouraged!!
Ramadan and Lent started on the same day this year. I have many friends who are Muslim, and I was excited to be fasting and praying during the same time that they were fasting and praying. I would send them texts during this time—”It’s the 23rd day of fasting! Yay!!” I even invited myself over to one of my friend’s homes with some other friends—telling her not to fix us anything as we were fasting too–we just wanted to chat with her–but she made tea, and served little cakes. Really the gift of hospitality is so precious and wonderfully practised by our friends. Now their Ramadan is over with, but our Lent still continues–and in less than 2 weeks, we will celebrate Easter!!
I’ve written about our International Tea Group, and how we meet once a month, and ask a question for everyone to answer. During one Tea time, during the month of December, quite a few years ago, one of our Muslim friends asked us to explain why Christmas was important to us?
So for this blog, I thought I’d answer, “Why is Easter Important to me?” (Actually when I was single, my roommate and I had a group of Muslim students over for Easter dinner—and they actually did ask us a similar question, they asked: “Why do you celebrate Easter?” The following is my answer:
I was raised going to church. I am so grateful to my parents, who took us to church every Sunday, and prayed with us, and made sure we received education in the faith. I had a sense that God loved me, but at the same time, God seemed a long, long way away from me. And when I was doing things that I knew were wrong, I was really grateful that God seemed a long way away from me. In fact I was really hoping He would not notice what I was doing or thinking.
When I went away to college, I really broke away from my parents and their teaching and training. I still went to church on Sunday, but I was just paying lip service to God. I was doing many things that I knew in my heart were wrong.
Then in March of my freshman year, my roommate, (who had been my best friend during my freshman year), told me that she now knew God personally and that her sins were forgiven.
I had gone away for the weekend to visit my parents, and when I came back–my roommate had become a Jesus freak. And I was the one who was freaking out. I was curt to my roommate, I tried to avoid her and inside I was thinking, “Who does she think she is—she isn’t perfect—and I’m the one who still goes to church every Sunday?”
However, at the same time I was thinking– “what’s wrong with me, that I am being so hateful to my roommate?”
Then, after a time of me being curt and angry with my roommate, she turned to me and said, “You know Katie, I’m not perfect, I’m just forgiven.” It felt like an arrow pierced my heart. How I longed for that—to know that I was forgiven.
When I went to bed I prayed to God. “Lord, I want to know that I am forgiven by You. I want to know You. Thank You – Jesus dying on the cross to pay for the penalty of my sins. Thank You for rising from the dead, and showing me through that –that someday I will rise from the dead too. Please come into my life, forgive me, and make me a new person.”
I did experience God’s presence flooding my heart, and His love surrounding me, (although not everyone experiences this–and their decision of faith is just as valid as mine.)
I made this decision about a month before Easter. When I went home to celebrate Easter and go to church with my family—church seemed different than it ever had before. It was as if the words were alive, and were actually feeding my soul. God did not seem distant at all. It seemed He was all around me. His love was the realest thing in my life.
That’s why Easter is important to me. Easter is when we celebrate Jesus–God incarnate– coming to earth, dying on the cross, and rising from the dead—all to bring the Kingdom of God–to earth. All to bring God close to each of us. All so that we could know God, know His love, and know His forgiveness.
May the rest of Lent help prepare our Hearts so that we can all truly celebrate the miracle of the Resurrection!! And May We Be Encouraged!!
St. Patrick’s Day in the States is celebrated by many people, even if they aren’t Irish. In my family, many of my and my husband’s ancestors were from Ireland, so St. Patrick’s Day is definitely celebrated. Usually that just means that we wear green, have corn beef, cabbage and potatoes for dinner, (although we’ve been told that this is not really an authentic Irish dinner), and we remember St. Patrick.
St. Patrick was a missionary to the nation of Ireland in the 5th century. He had been kidnapped when he was 16, and taken to Ireland. He managed to escape 6 years later. However, he returned to Ireland to reach the people with the Christian gospel. St. Patrick used the Shamrock to explain the principle of the Trinity: 3 in 1. 3 sections of the leaf–but one leaf. God is one God, but is also 3 persons: Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
We see other examples of the Trinity in nature as well: for example, H2O is one element but has 3 different forms: water, steam and ice.
Last year, I was having a conversation with my then 4 year old granddaughter. I was telling her that Jesus was God. She looked at me with her big blue eyes and she said, “Nana, God sent Jesus to earth.” I said, “That’s right, God the Father did send Jesus, God the Son to earth. Yet, God is One God.” She looked at me and waited for me to explain. I drew a picture of a Shamrock leaf. I said—see how this Shamrock has 3 parts, but it is one leaf. That’s how it is with God. He is One God and He has 3 parts.” She nodded her head. I went on to say to her, “I am also one person, but to you–I am your Nana. To your daddy, I’m his momma, and to Papa, I’m his wife. I am one person, but I have different parts of me too.”
I wondered if she could understand what I was trying to say, but the next time I saw her, she shouted across the room, “Jesus is God!”
Some may wonder why it is important to make this distinction. It is important for many reasons. One—God revealed Himself to Abraham, as the God of Heaven and of Earth. Deuteronomy 6:4 states, “Hear Oh Israel, The Lord Is Our God, The Lord is One! This was something Jewish parents were instructed to teach their children. Many Jewish parents are still teaching this to their children.
Jesus taught that God is One: “Hear oh Israel, The Lord Our God is One Lord, and you shall love the Lord Your God with all your heart, and with all your mind and with all your soul and with all your strength.” Mark 12: 29
When Moses met God in the burning bush, the Lord told Moses His name was, “I Am”. (Exodus 3: 14) Jesus said about Himself, “…..before Abraham was born, I Am” (John 8:58) He was declaring Himself to be God—the Eternal One. For this claim, He was crucified.
However, Jesus Christ did not remain crucified–He rose from the dead. He showed us He has life over death. And His death—His one death for all time—paid the penalty for our sins. If Jesus was just a perfect man—His one death would have paid the debt for one other person’s sins–but it would not have paid for all of our sins. He had to be God in human flesh to pay for all of our sins with His one death.
I find within the Trinity, the concept of Oneness and Community. I find within the Trinity– the Image of Love.
God has revealed Himself to be the God of Love—a Love that will sacrifice for the beloved. We are the beloved.
“For the joy set before Him, Christ endured the cross…..” Hebrews 12:2 We are the joy set before Christ. Jesus died for us. He died to bring us into the community of love. He died to bring us into His family. He died so we could know Him, the Son, and the Father—eternally, forever—and that eternity starts here on this earth, when we choose Him back.
And so we remember St. Patrick, who proclaimed these mysteries and truths to the Irish.
She made me this sign a year after I lost my son, Sean James.
I have that sign propped up on the table beside my bed.
“ TODAY is Gonna be a GOOD DAY!!”
What a thought to open my eyes to, when some days I don’t want to open my eyes.
During the winter months, when the dark, gray days permeate my spirit, I see this sign:
“Today is Gonna be a Good day.”
I find it a little easier to hang on through the winter.
This week, the sun has been shining, and snow has been melting, and I am thinking about that sign:
“TODAY is Gonna be a GOOD DAY!!”
I can smell spring in the air—the birds are coming back. The weather is warmer—not warm—but not freezing.
My spirits are rising. Hope is in the air. New Life is in the air.
“TODAY is gonna be a GOOD DAY!!”
I have the same problems. My trials have not gone away. But somehow, my burdens seem a little lighter. It is easier to put those things I have no control over, in the Father’s Hands. It is easier to put the things I think I have control over in the Father’s Hands.
Spring is coming!! New life will overcome death and decay!!
Encouragement for you!! 