May We Be Encouraged!!
Happy 250th Birthday To the USA!!
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Pivotal Moments
Pivotal moments in life. Moments that change the entire trajectory of one’s life. I had some pivotal moments my freshman and sophomore years in college.
At the end of my freshman year in college, I began a relationship with the Lord. I accepted what Jesus did on the cross as the sacrifice for my sins. I accepted God’s forgiveness. I asked God’s Spirit to come into my life and make me the person He wanted me to be.
Wow, did He answer that prayer! Suddenly, when I went to the bar with the girls, and I was tempted to overindulge, I could sense God’s presence and guidance leading me away from those situations. As I spent time with the Lord, He changed my desires, and I didn’t desire to put myself in those situations anymore.
When I messed up, and did not yield to God’s guidance, I felt such guilt and unworthiness. I had walked away from the One, who loved me so perfectly.
I messed up majorly especially in the beginning of my walk with the Lord and experienced such remorse. I don’t think the guilty and unworthy feelings came from the Lord. I think they came from me, from Satan, and from believing the lies–Satan told me–first to draw me into sin, and then to beat me up–after I sinned.
In my fall term of my Sophomore year in college, I went on a Fall Retreat with the christian group that had been a part of me hearing the gospel, and trusting Christ to be my Savior. At that retreat, I was asked to be in a discipleship bible study, where I would be learning to share my faith, and I would also be learning how to lead bible studies. Eventually I would teach others how to share their faith, lead others in bible studies and teach others how to lead bible studies.
I felt so unworthy to be in this study. I felt scared to be in this study. I desperately wanted to be in this study.
I remember going off by myself to have a quiet time with the Lord, and asking Him what He wanted me to do. Now, I was a very young believer, and I knew God’s Word had the answers for me, but I didn’t know God’s Word very well. So, I prayed, “God, I don’t know what you want me to do. I am going to open this book of Yours, and just read whatever it says when it falls open. Please speak to me, and tell me what you want me to do?”
I opened to: ‘But get up and stand on your feet; for this purpose I have appeared to you, to appoint you a minister and a witness not only to the things which you have seen, but also to the things in which I will appear to you; rescuing you from the Jewish people and from the Gentiles, to whom I am sending you, to open their eyes so that they may turn from darkness to light and from the dominion of Satan to God, that they may receive forgiveness of sins and an inheritance among those who have been sanctified by faith in Me.’ Acts 26:16-18
I can’t really explain what happened, but it was as if the Lord Himself was speaking to me through the words I was reading. The words leapt off the page, and I heard them being spoken in my head, but not by my voice. It was a voice of power, authority, and yet love.
This was a pivotal moment in my life–from which the rest of my life had direction.
I went on to be in that discipleship bible study. I went on to lead others and disciple others. I went on to go on full time staff with that christian organization, and then later volunteer on staff with it. I met my husband when I was on staff with this organization, as he was also on staff with it.
In writing this blog, I am seeking to fulfill God’s purpose that He gave me, so, so many years ago. I am seeking to tell my stories–because they point to Him. He is the author and perfecter of my faith. Hebrews 12: 2
It helps me to look back and see God’s hand in my life–to see that after all this time He has not let go.
“My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me; and I give eternal life to them, and they will never perish; and no one will snatch them out of My hand. John 10:27, 28
I hope this story encourages you to look at your own life, and see your own pivotal moments. I hope my story encourages you to remember that even though we may be tempted to feel unworthy and guilty, we have been given worth and forgiveness and love.
May We Be Encouraged!
Sean’s Birthday Blog
Yesterday was my son Sean’s birthday. He would have been 29 years old. I spent the morning of his birthday with Sean’s 3 red-haired nieces, his older brother’s girls. They sang “Happy Birthday” to their Uncle Sean–making sure they included the “Cha-cha-chas.
Then, I had lunch with my mom, and lo and behold, there was a red cardinal in the yard. . If you don’t know the story of the legend of the red cardinal, you can click here to read my blog about it.
After that lovely time, I went home, and celebrated Sean’s birthday with my husband and other children and grandchildren. We had pizza, (mine was with a cauliflower crust) 🙂 And we sat around the big 10 foot table that we had inherited from my mother-in-law, telling stories, and laughing. Some of our stories were about Sean, and some were just about life. And all of it was good.
On Seans’ birthday, I cried, and I laughed—and once again thanked God for the gift of Sean James. (We named Sean—Sean—as it is the Irish way of saying John, and we named him James, after my Uncle Jim. My Uncle Jim is my Dad’s younger brother—also the third boy in his family, and he was so loving and kind—and that is how I hoped my son would be as well. And he was, and I believe that he still is.)
May We Be Encouraged!!
My Father’s Day Blog :)
This week, I was at the store, shopping for my husband’s Father’s Day gift with my youngest daughter.
As we were walking towards the check-out line, I noticed these beautiful yellow roses. They practically begged me to take them home with me. I said to my daughter, “I’m going to get these yellow roses for your dad for Father’s Day. They are really for me, but I’ll tell Dad, they are for him. 🙂 “ My daughter laughed, and we picked up the roses, and proceeded to check-out.
While we were standing in line, the woman behind us commented on our beautiful flowers. I told her that I was getting them for my husband for Father’s Day, but they were really for me. 🙂 She laughed and said that this was the way her young son also shopped for Father’s Day. Her son was with her, and was probably 4 or 5 years old. Apparently he had gotten his dad a ball for Father’s day. 🙂
Then the woman commented on our flowers again, asking where they were, as she wanted to go back to get some. She told us that yellow flowers are the symbol for flowers connected with cancer and that she lost her 18 month old son to cancer.
I looked at her, and said, “I am so sorry. That is so hard,” then I paused before I said, ” I have also lost a son.” We both shared a look that parents who have lost a child share–that immediately bonds you, because you’ve both endured one of the worst things a parent has to endure.
Then I said, “Can I give you a hug?” She said “Yes.” As we hugged, I said, “We are going to see them again someday.” She said, “I know. I tell my sons they need to be good so they can see their brother in Heaven.”
I looked at her, and asked God to give me the words to say, to comfort and share the hope that is within, and from my mouth came these words, “At my son’s funeral, my husband shared about Jesus dying on the cross between two criminals. One of the criminals asked Jesus to remember him, when Jesus came into His Kingdom, and Jesus told the criminal that he would be with Him in paradise that day. My husband told everyone that the criminal hadn’t done anything to deserve heaven, or a relationship with God, he just received it as a gift.” The woman nodded her head, indicating she understood what I was saying. Ephesians 2:8,9
Then I told the woman, “I’m going to buy these flowers, and give them to you, they are my gift to you and your husband, in honor of your son.”
At first she said, “No, you don’t have to”, but then she received them gladly.
There were tears in my daughter’s eyes as we left, and when we were in the car she told me, “Mom, I wish I was rich, I would have paid for all of those woman’s groceries.” I told her, “After your brother died, people were very kind, and they gave us meals, flowers, money for Sean’s trust, and it was really, really wonderful to know people cared. But, God was the only One who could reach deep inside to our souls, and really comfort us. Let’s pray for that woman right now, that she would understand that God is offering her Himself—and a relationship with Him is a gift–that she just needs to accept, like she accepted our gift of the roses. She doesn’t have to work for it—she just has to accept it. God can comfort her, in a way, no one else can.”
And we bowed our heads and prayed. If you are reading this blog, I’m praying that if you haven’t accepted the gift of a relationship with the Father of all Fathers, and the King of all Kings–that you too will understand that it is not something you have to work for–it is a gift for you to accept.
Happy Father’s Day Everyone!! May We Be Encouraged!!
He loves like a Father Should!! Hallejujah!! Nothing can separate us from the love of God!! Romans 8:38-39 (These are all lines in this song, except Romans 8:38-39, where the line: Nothing can separate us from the love of God, is found.)
Contentment
There have been certain seasons in my life when I’ve struggled with being content more than I have in other seasons. For instance, when I was 26 years old, I really wanted to be married and have children. Now, I was not even dating anyone when I was 26 years old. In fact, between the ages of 25-28 years old, I did not date anyone. (Since I had had a boyfriend from the time I was allowed to date at the age of 16—this was a new situation for me.)
So how did I deal with this season of singleness, and find contentment in it? I reasoned that God gave me this great desire to be married and have children, so He would meet that desire in His timing, and so I needed to choose joy in the moment I was in. So, when I got to wake up late on a Saturday morning, I would think….I’m going to be grateful that I got to sleep in today. Someday, I’ll be married and have children, and I will not get to sleep in. (I was right about that–by the way!! )
I would think this way about many things—any time I got to do something for myself—go to the library, take a walk—it could be something really simple—but I would thank God for that time, for that moment. I cultivated a habit of gratitude, of being thankful—and I must tell you it really helped. It helped then, and it is helping now.
I’m in a new season of life right now. I am retired, (from being a homeschooling mom and my husband’s partner in our construction company). I have grown children and small grandchildren. What used to give me a sense of purpose and direction –has changed. I’m in a new season of life. And, just as I did all those years ago, I am choosing gratitude as a pathway to contentment. I am living in the moment I’m in, and I am thankful. I am choosing to walk with the Father, and enjoy Him in the moment I’m in. It’s a good moment. It’s a good day. Life is all a great, great gift, from a good, good Father.
May We Be Encouraged!!
Lessons in Mommy Land
Let me set the scene. My oldest and only child at that time was 3 years old. I was pregnant with my second child. Since I had quit my job when this child was 2 months old, we had seldom been separated. I was one of those moms who had to be “encouraged” to leave her child in the nursery during church services. If I needed to go work out, or go to any evening meetings, my husband was with my son.
My son had a terrible case of separation anxiety, because I was rarely out of his sight.
My mother-in-law came for a week long visit and wanted to go shopping for the day. My husband and I decided to ask a family from church, who had a 12 year old son, if they could watch our son for the day. We would pay the 12 year old, but the mom would be supervising both boys.
I was nervous all day long. Was my son getting upset, was he missing me? (This was before the days of the cell phone, so I had no way of finding out.) When the long day of shopping finally ended, and we went to pick up my son, I thought he would throw himself into my arms and hug me in relief that I had finally come.
My son took one look at me coming through the door and said, “No, go away!!” Then he turned away from me. This was the last thing I had expected.
Apparently such a great time of playing was happening, my son did not want it to end. My arrival meant the end to all the fun.
This was my first lesson of letting go with my children. This was my first lesson in realizing that my value and significance didn’t rest in and upon my children, or in me, “being a good mom.”
I’ve had many, many lessons over the past 34 years of being a mom. The biggest lesson I have learned is that my children aren’t my God, and I am not theirs.
What do I mean by this? I mean that my children have been given their lives by God, and they answer to Him for the decisions they make as adults, not to me. Conversely, I have been given my life by God, and I answer to God for my decisions, not to my children.
I cannot fill their lives, and they cannot fill mine. God is the only One who can fill our lives.
What does this mean in practical terms? It means when my adult children are making decisions I disagree with, and they have not asked for my opinion or advice, I keep my mouth shut. If they are asking me to help them out, then I talk about the situation with my husband, and we talk about the situation with the Lord. Sometimes we help them, and sometimes we don’t, depending on how the Lord directs through His Word, counsel and Spirit.
It has been incredibly freeing to let God be God, and realize that I am not God, and my children, husband, friends and family are not my God. They cannot fill me anymore than I can fill them. This realization has set me free to love others unconditionally. Perhaps that is what God means when He says, “Be still, and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10 There is peace and rest, in letting God be God.
May We Be Encouraged!!
Remembering…
It’s been 6 years since my Mother-in-Law has passed from this home to her eternal home. I so look forward to seeing her again. In honor of her I am publishing this blog again.
Joy Will Come
It’s been a few weeks since Mother’s Day, and in a few more weeks it will be Father’s Day. I think that it is appropriate that Memorial Day is celebrated just between these other days. Why?
Because being a mom or a dad involves grief. Being a child involves grief. Loving and being in relationships involves grief and loss in some form or another.
I am a mom who has lost a son. My husband is a dad who has lost a son. My husband has also lost both of his parents. I have lost my dad. So Mother’s Day, Memorial Day, Father’s Day—these are days where we face those losses, but we also receive gifts of joy. Our children and grandchildren bring joy to us on these days. Talking to my mom on Mother’s Day is a joyful thing. (I also talk to my mom on Father’s Day for that reason—we talk about my Dad and miss him together.) Talking to my Heavenly Father brings me the most joy.
It’s an interesting combination–joy and grief—but the two have simultaneously held place in my heart for quite some time. I look forward to the day when only joy remains–and no more grief—the day when Jesus wipes every tear from my eyes.
But, I’m not writing this blog just to remind myself of these things–I’m writing to remind you of these things. If you are like most people in this world, you have experienced loss, you have experienced grief. Perhaps you are wondering how you can also experience joy?
I wish I had a magic formula to tell you that would be sure to work, every single time–but I don’t.
I just have this thought—don’t give up on the thought that joy will come—and wait for it.
Scripture tells us that sorrow lasts in the night, but joy comes in the morning.
What this tells me is that sorrow lasts for a season, but then joy does come. So don’t stop hoping, don’t stop believing, and don’t stop waiting—for Joy comes in the morning.
Happy Belated Mother’s Day and Memorial Day to you all, along with a Happy Early Father’s Day!
May We Be Encouraged!!
Free To Be Me
Many of you know that I attend a Celebrate Recovery Group. This group helps people with their hurts, habits and hang-ups. People have the opportunity to find freedom in Christ, and speak the truth about their lives–perhaps for the very first time. This man Tyrone Tompkins, is not associated with CR, as far as I know, but he is someone who speaks the truth about his formerly desperate, broken, rage-filled life, and about how Christ set him free to be who he was made to be. I find these testimonies so hope-breathing. I pray you are encouraged as well!!
Click here to find a Celebrate Recovery Group near you: Celebrate Recovery
Hypocrisy
My boss and I were driving together in her car, and she started to open up to me about her life. She told me that her husband left her. He had had an affair, and she was left to raise their children on her own.
I was feeling so badly for her and the pain she had gone through in her life. Then, we walked into her home, and she told me that she had had an affair with a married man, after her husband left her. She made some comment justifying her actions, but all I could think about was, “Wait!! You were terribly hurt because your husband had an affair and left you, but somehow it’s okay for you to do the same thing, and possibly cause another woman the same pain? Can’t you see how wrong that is?”
I did not verbalize any of this out loud–as she was my boss. But, as a very young woman, I don’t think I could keep the look of shock and disappointment from appearing on my face.
Why am I relaying this story?
Well, because the ability that we as human beings have to justify our actions while condemning someone else for doing the exact same thing, never fails to amaze me. We are so totally blind to our own sin, while judging someone else for theirs.
People are writing truly hateful things on social media—while naming the people they are writing to–as haters. They don’t even see the hypocrisy of what they are doing.
In reality, we all—(who have been made in God’s image)—fall so, so short of being who we were made to be.
Thank you God for sending Jesus—-the lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world.
We all so desperately need Jesus to take our sins away. We all so desperately need Jesus to fill us with His love. We all so desperately need Jesus to give us the power to live in this world.
Can I get an Amen!!
We all so desperately need Jesus, period!
May We Be Encouraged!!
Encouragement for you!! 