Category: offering comfort

Your part in the story will go on….

Published on by katiesencouragementforyou8 Comments

Today, I reread an old journal of mine. I found this journal that I kept right after my son Sean died.  In it, I share memories of Sean, and I pour out my grief and sorrow.  However, as I read it–I was struck by a quote I wrote down from the movie, “The Return of the King, (Lord of the Rings). ,  “How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on, when in your heart you begin to understand… there is no going back? There are some things that time cannot mend. Some hurts that go too deep, that have taken hold.” (Frodo Baggins). “

At the end of the movie, Frodo says to Sam, “You cannot always be torn in two. You will have to be one and whole for many years. You have so much to enjoy and to be and to do. Your part in the story will go on.

It struck me because just recently I wrote in my journal: 

Father,  I have been saying, , “You are worthy of loving, You are worthy of serving, You are worthy of obeying, You are worthy of trusting, you are worthy of praising even when my world and circumstances are horrid.”   For one thing–You will always be worthy regardless of my life and circumstances.  For another thing–there are wonderful moments as well as the horrid ones. 

There is my sweet 6 month old grandbaby giving us her mostly toothless grins, and the sweetness and vibrancy of our one year old granddaughter, the charm and laughter of our two year old granddaughter, and exuberance and tenderness of our six year old grandson, the thoughtfulness and compassion of our 8 year old granddaughter.

There are the conversations with my dramatic and daring daughters–where they show me who they are, and I hear about the moments of their lives.  There are the conversations with my usually silent sons, where they let me into their worlds and their hearts.

There are many sweet, loving moments with my servant-hearted husband,  and our long conversations with each other.

There are many, many acts of love from my family.  There is such sweetness in the times we get to talk and the times we have with one another.

After Sean died–I wanted to die too.  But, I knew I still had a job to do here on this earth.  I knew that though I did not know how I was going to pick up the pieces of my life–that my part in the story must go on for many years.   And lo, and behold, I have found that in spite of all the pain, in spite of all the continued pain–that time does not heal—I have gone on.  I have enjoyed life.  I have enjoyed the many, many gifts of life.  I have come to the conclusion over and over again that—”There’s some good in this world, and it’s worth fighting for.”  (a quote from Sam to Frodo–as they fight to save the world from the forces of evil.)

“There’s some good in this world, and it is worth fighting for.”   God is the One who gives us all that is good in this world–and He is worth living for, He is worth dying for, He is worth everything!!  When darkness threatens to fall over our entire world–let us remember–that:

“There is some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it is worth fighting for.”

May We be encouraged!!

God is Faithful, Forever

Published on by katiesencouragementforyou4 Comments

Scared, oh I thought I knew scared

Now I’m so filled with fear

I can barely move.

Doubts, I’ve had my share of doubts

But never more than right now

I’m wondering where You are.

I’m on the edge of fall apart

But somehow Your promises

 Find my troubled heart.

 When I first heard these song lyrics from the song: Truth I’m Standing On, I thought—wow, someone wrote a song that exposes my deepest thoughts and feelings.   I especially liked the line—I’m on the edge of fall apart.   Have you ever felt that way?  Like you are on the Edge of Fall Apart?

The song goes on to say:

This is the truth I’m standing on

Even when all my strength is gone

You are faithful forever

And I know You’ll never

Let me fall.

Right now I’m choosing to believe

Someday soon I’ll look back and see

This pain had a purpose

Your plan was perfect all along

This is the truth I’m standing on.

This is the truth I’m standing on, even when all my strength is gone—You are faithful Forever!!  God –You are faithful forever!!    This video is a man telling a powerful story from his life that illustrates so clearly  the faithfulness of God, and the steadfastness of God’s love.

God loves us with steadfastness, and faithfulness, teaching us how to love others as well.   This is the truth I’m standing on—a truth that encourages me as I pray it does you!

Focus and Breathe

Published on by katiesencouragementforyou2 Comments

When I was pregnant with my first child, I went to a Lamaze class, and one of the things the nurse taught us, was to have something to focus on, during one’s contractions.   I chose a verse–Hebrews 12: 1,2.   Was that helpful?  Yes, it was really, really helpful.  The class also taught us not to give in to the fear of the unknown, but to breathe and focus throughout labor.  Was this helpful–yes, it was really, really helpful.  (In fact after our first child was born, my husband turned to me and said, “That wasn’t as bad, as I thought it was going to be.”)

What is the point of this story?   Right now, many people are feeling very, very anxious.  We just came through a pandemic, with shut downs and quarantines.  We have seen gas prices more than double in the past year.  We are seeing food prices rise, and are being told that we could see massive inflation by the fall.   There is good reason to be anxious.

So what can we do—we can focus our thoughts, and we can breathe.   Why?  Because it really, really helps.

We can focus our thoughts on the truth.

Lately, I’ve been focusing on one truth in particular:

2Co 5:17

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.

What does this mean?  In Romans Chapter 6—It spells out what this means—I am going to paraphrase it for you—it says that when Jesus died on the cross–our sin natures were crucified with Him.  So our sin natures are dead, and we are new creatures in God’s eyes.  He sees us as His children, without sin before Him.

Now–we don’t ‘feel’ without sin, we in fact still give in the temptation to sin.  But God says–sin actually has no power over us–anymore–in fact–we are dead to sin, and alive to Christ.

We are to present ourselves to God, and He will give us the power to turn away from sin.  He sees us as a new creature—the old creature is dead in His eyes.  He wants me and He wants you to see ourselves in this way too.  

The new creature wants to obey Him.  The new creature wants to please Him.  The new creature wants to walk with Him.  The new creature loves God and loves others.  The new creature forgives.  The new creature gives grace and kindness to others.

So—when I am aware that I am acting like the old person that has passed away, I say to myself, “That is not me.  That is not who God has made me to be.  I am a new creature.  This old person is dead, and has no power over the new creature.  I surrender to you Lord, so that I can live out Your truth–that I am a new creature.”

The new creature is not afraid.  The new creature is not anxious.  The new creature knows her God, and trusts in His love and provision.  

The new creature focuses on the truth, and the new creature breathes in the truth.

Will this help during these trying times?   Yes, I promise you, this will really, really help!!

May We Be Encouraged!!

The Fixer

Published on by katiesencouragementforyou8 Comments

One of the hardest things about living on this earth is seeing the ones I love in pain, and suffering.

I want to fix it and make it all better for them.

When my children were young, it seemed that I could “fix” things for them. I could, “kiss” the boo-boo, I could nurse them back to health, I could plan an excursion for them, to cheer them up.

Not only can I not “fix” things for others, but I also cannot “fix” things for myself.

The following song has been speaking greatly to me these days, and I thought I would share the lyrics with you all.  These are the words that are really resonating with me:  There’s freedom in surrender.  Lay it down and let it go.

I love that contrast of words—freedom and surrender.  I want freedom—freedom from the trials and tribulations of life—from the problems of life—-I think most people want freedom.   However, the path to freedom is surrender.  It involves surrendering myself to God—I’m fine with giving Him, my problems—and surrendering those to Him—I’m not so good with surrendering myself to Him.  That is a spiritual battle—and involves fighting several lies.

These are the two biggest lies I fight:  God doesn’t really love me—-(I look at all the bad things that have happened in my life to confirm this lie.)  Therefore—I can’t really trust Him with my life.

The lyrics-–If your eyes are on the storm, you’ll wonder if I love you still, but if your eyes are on the cross, you’ll know I always have and I always will—–mean so much to me—because they help me to focus on the proof of God’s love for me.

“For God demonstrated His own love for us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”

  God is perfectly just, and perfectly loving—all these things are found in the cross of Jesus.

He satisfied His justice– by Jesus dying to pay the penalty for each of our sins.   He satisfied the love He has for us—by Jesus dying to pay the penalty for each of our sins.  

When I start doubting God’s love for me, because of the storms of my life—I can fight those doubts by remembering the cross—God’s proof of His love for me.

So, enjoy this song—and be encouraged—for God loves us—He always has, and He always will!!

Just Be Held

Lyrics: Hold it all together

 Everybody needs you strong

 But life hits you out of nowhere

 And barely leaves you holding on

 And when you’re tired of fighting

Chained by your control

There’s freedom in surrender

 Lay it down and let it go

So when you’re on your knees and answers seem so far away

 You’re not alone, stop holding on and just be held

 Your world’s not falling apart, it’s falling into place

 I’m on the throne, stop holding on and just be held

 Just be held, just be held

 If your eyes are on the storm You’ll wonder if I love you still

 But if your eyes are on the cross You’ll know I always have and I always will

And not a tear is wasted

 In time, you’ll understand

 I’m painting beauty with the ashes

Your life is in My hands

 Lift your hands, lift your eyes

 In the storm is where you’ll find Me

 And where you are, I’ll hold your heart

 I’ll hold your heart

 Come to Me, find your rest In the arms of the God who won’t let go.

My Perfect Day

Published on by katiesencouragementforyou6 Comments

When I was in High School, I ran track.  I ran the 400, which is a long-distance sprint.   In the first few races I ran, I would start out running as fast as I could, and quickly run out of steam.  It felt like my heart was going to pump out of my chest, and I was all out of breath.  In fact, sometimes, I was tempted to not finish the race at all.

Scripture tells us that living this life is like running a race.  I think that is a great visual picture.   Quite frankly, right now, I feel the same way I felt when I was in High School, like this race has taken everything I have and more, and I want to quit.

But, today—today I remembered my perfect day.  When I remembered it—I felt hope, and I thought—no—I am not going to quit.   I thought I would tell you all about my perfect day—so perhaps if you need encouragement in running your race, it might help you too.

My perfect day, was the day of my son’s wedding.   Let me tell you about this day.   My oldest son got married a little more than 2 months before my third son was killed.

The day of my son’s wedding arrived.  It was a beautiful day—it was warm and breezy, there were a few fluffy clouds in the sky.   The venue was breathtaking, with a view of water, and green, green flowing lawns.  The bridesmaids were dressed in aqua.  Our daughter-in-law was one of the most gorgeous brides, I have ever seen.  The music was so lovely, and meaningful and added to the emotions of the day.

This song was played during the wedding ceremony!!

There were candles and flowers, and exquisite food, and fairy-tale cakes.   All our children participated in the day as groomsmen, a bridesmaid and a flower girl. 

But the thing that made the day so, so amazing, was an answer to a prayer, I prayed.  I asked Jesus to be a guest at the wedding.   Jesus so clearly answered this prayer.

How do I know?  First, I experienced Jesus’ presence at the wedding.   There was this joy and laughter at the wedding—like I have never experienced before or since.  I was not the only person to sense this joy and laughter.  In fact, many, many of my friends and family told me at the wedding and after the wedding, that they had never enjoyed themselves at any wedding, quite as much as they did at this wedding.

I had only ½ glass of wine to toast the newly married couple at the wedding, and yet, many asked me if I might have had a bit too much bubbly to drink, as my behavior was overflowing with laughter and joy.

Yes—Jesus came to this wedding, and His presence was felt by so many—even though they did know why they were so unexplainably delighted.

When I think about how Jesus answered that prayer—I wonder if He wanted me to know how happy my child would be with Him—because He was giving me a taste of that happiness.  Perhaps, He wanted me to know, that although I am now waiting for Him to answer many, many prayers—that He does hear my prayers, and He has answered my prayers, and He will answer my prayers, someday—even if someday is a long, long time away.

Perhaps, you too, are waiting for your prayers to be answered, and you want to give up on your race in life.  May I encourage you with these words from scripture—

Hebrews 12: 1 and 2

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us

We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne.

Think of all the hostility he endured from sinful people; then you won’t become weary and give up.

Have you ever wondered what was the joy awaiting Jesus? I think I know.  We—the bride of Christ—are the joy awaiting Him.  He died to save us and make us His Own.

I think weddings are so special to Him, because they represent the wedding that is to come for us all.    And I must tell you—the joy we will all experience at that wedding will surpass all the joy that we all have ever experienced here on this earth.

He will wipe every tear from our eyes, and there will be no more pain, and we will have His presence and His love and His JOY!!

So, please, please, be encouraged with me!!!

A Place Called Home

Published on by katiesencouragementforyou6 Comments

Sometimes life can seem random, like there is no rhyme or reason to what happens or when things happen.  I’d like to share memories that still help me when I think of them, to know that I am not alone, that I am loved, and that there is more to life, than just what we see.

What I am about to share next will seem like the opposite of what I just shared—but read on, and you will see what I mean.

My dad had a stroke 5 years before he died; it left my dad without the power of speech.   I remember my son Sean told me that he missed hearing his Papa’s voice, and he was afraid he wouldn’t be able to remember what his Papa’s voice sounded like. (Sean didn’t have to be afraid of that—4 years after my dad died, Sean passed.  Sean is hearing his Papa’s voice in heaven.)

Not quite 3 years before my dad died, my youngest child was born.  She was my parents’ youngest grandchild.   When our sweetness was just over 2 years old, we went to visit my parents.  My sweet girl was a busy, busy, busy, 2-year-old, never sitting down, always moving.  On this visit, she climbed up into her Papa’s lap, and stayed there hugging him, for the next 45 minutes.   At the time, I was stupefied as to what was happening.   The next day, my dad had another massive stroke, and spent the next 6 months in the hospital until he died.

I still cry when I remember our precious little girl, crawling up into my dad’s lap and hugging him.  It was the last hug between them.  How did this tiny little girl know this would be the last time, she would be with her Papa?  How did she know to embrace him and the moment?

  I have many questions like that:  How do birds know to fly south for the winter?  How do bears know to hibernate in the winter.  Yes—I know the scientific explanation, but someone had to design the birds to have those homing instincts, and someone had to design bears’ bodies to go into hibernation.

Scripture tells us that God takes care of the birds of the air, and we are worth much more to God.  God loves us; He cares for us.  He has prepared a place for us. 

Every time, I go to a funeral, and see the body, I am reminded once again, that our bodies house our spirits.  When the spirit is gone, the person is gone, even though the body remains.

Sometimes—life seems random, like a big cosmic accident, and then sometimes—something happens—and it reminds us that we are not alone, that we are loved, and that there is a place we are all heading towards—a place I call home.   May we be encouraged!!

Grief

Published on by katiesencouragementforyou13 Comments

We are approaching the anniversary of my son’s passing.  My son Sean died 8 years ago.  His accident was on September 16th, and he was declared dead on September 17, 2013.

I want to talk about a difficult subject—the subject of coming along side someone in grief.

When Sean died, others sought to come along side of us and help us—and there was a great outpouring of service and love and help.

But there was also silence from those we “expected” help from.  My mom told me a story, that helped me understand.  You see, my mom’s sister lost 2 of her children and her husband within a 6-month space of time.  My mom said that at times she was so overwhelmed in her own grief that it was hard to help her sister in her grief.  She did help her sister—but it wasn’t easy.

This has helped me to understand that I and my husband and children weren’t the only ones who were grieving when Sean died.  Others needed grace in their grieving as well. They may have been grieving Sean or they may have been grieving something else going on in their own lives.

Also, I came to realize that no one—not my husband, not my other children, not my extended family, no friend—could ever meet my deepest needs—only God could do that.  

That is not to say that others do not have a role to play in helping others who are grieving.

Right now, there is a family who has lost their dad.  Another friend and I have been trying to organize others to help them.  This friend frequently tells me with great passion: “We are apart of the body of Christ, we are His hands and His feet, and God wants us to move and help others.”

She is absolutely right. 

My mom and my Aunt, (who lost her family members), came most frequently to help with–well everything. Other family members also came to help.

After Sean died, a neighbor down the street from us, a sister in Christ, organized meals for us for 2 months—and people from all the churches in my town signed up to bring us a meal.

People came right after Sean died and cleaned our house.

A couple friend, (in the Pastorate), meet with us for over a year, once a week, and provided grief counseling, and friendship.

My best friends took my children on excursions and spent time with me.

All amazing things.

I also experienced rejection, conflicts, loss of friendship, and silence from others.

In reading others’ blogs—the good, the bad and the ugly are all typical and normal things to experience to those who have lost a loved one.

Grief—suffering—these are difficult, difficult things.  Grace, kindness and gentleness with oneself and with others are needed during these times.  Mostly, and above all else—God’s sustaining spirit is what is needed and is available to each of us, for the asking.

One of the worst things for my spirit, was to hang onto bitterness and unforgiveness.  God has frequently pried my hands off these ugly things I was hanging onto and told me with grace and gentleness that He had something better for me to hang onto—Him!! 

In saying this—I do not want to minimize the hurt that is felt by the grieving party, over the lack of caring they may be experiencing.  I understand the hurt.  I too, have felt the hurt.

Rather, I want to give a way for the hurt party to understand that they are not alone—others have walked the same path and have found freedom from the hurt in forgiveness and in the presence of God.

If you are grieving right now, I am praying for you!!  I would appreciate your prayers for my family and myself.  Thank you!

God is Faithful, Forever

Published on by katiesencouragementforyou2 Comments

Scared, oh I thought I knew scared

Now I’m so filled with fear

I can barely move.

Doubts, I’ve had my share of doubts

But never more than right now

I’m wondering where You are.

I’m on the edge of fall apart

But somehow Your promises

 Find my troubled heart.

 When I first heard these song lyrics from the song: Truth I’m Standing On, I thought—wow, someone wrote a song that exposes my deepest thoughts and feelings.   I especially liked the line—I’m on the edge of fall apart.   Have you ever felt that way?  Like you are on the Edge of Fall Apart?

The song goes on to say:

This is the truth I’m standing on

Even when all my strength is gone

You are faithful forever

And I know You’ll never

Let me fall.

Right now I’m choosing to believe

Someday soon I’ll look back and see

This pain had a purpose

Your plan was perfect all along

This is the truth I’m standing on.

This is the truth I’m standing on, even when all my strength is gone—You are faithful Forever!!  God –You are faithful forever!!    This video is a man telling a powerful story from his life that illustrates so clearly  the faithfulness of God, and the steadfastness of God’s love.

God loves us with steadfastness, and faithfulness, teaching us how to love others as well.   This is the truth I’m standing on—a truth that encourages me as I pray it does you!

The Safest Place To Be

Published on by katiesencouragementforyou4 Comments

I started my “Encouragement from Katie” blogsite a little over 2 years ago.  I have written some stories detailing  the times when I have relied on God’s strength and guidance in my parenting, and that is the purpose of this blog—to encourage young moms to look to God for the answers and strength in their mothering role.   However, there were times when I did not do this.  There were times I was angry, frustrated, fearful, or anxious and I acted out those emotions.  I remember a time when I expressed fear, and then anger, in the space of a heartbeat.

At the time, I was a mom with just 4 children (I would have a fifth- 7 years later); their ages were: 8 years, 4 years, 3 years and 11 months old.  It was time for our church’s VBS and I was helping with it.  I dropped off my 11-month-old with a friend, who also had an 11-month old baby.  She watched our babies while I took the 3 older children to VBS.  At the end of VBS, I loaded up the children in our mini van and ran back in the church to grab something I had forgotten.  Then— I came back out to the van, got in and drove off.  I parked at my friend’s home and went in to get my baby.  I came back out and noticed that my four-year-old was not in the van.  I thought he had gotten out and was wandering around the neighborhood.  I started calling for him, yelling his name one minute, and crying his name in the next.

My friend’s husband looked at me in amazement—I seemed like a woman gone berserk—yelling, then crying, then yelling, then crying.    I was demanding that we call the police and the fire department.  He said, “Why don’t we call the church first, maybe he’s at the church?”   “No”, I snapped back, “I put him in the van, he must have gotten out at your house, and he’s wandering around the neighborhood.”  

“Well”, he said, “let’s just call the church first.”  Eventually, I agreed, and we called the church.  Yes, my child was at the church.  He had gotten out to use the bathroom, and I had not noticed when I got into the van.  Even now, when I remember that story, my heart starts pounding and the adrenaline starts rushing through my body at the terror I experienced when I thought my child was lost.

Why do I recount this story?  Because—this is what life is like isn’t it?  Life is going along, and then something that we don’t expect happens—and how do we react?  I don’t and haven’t always reacted well.  The first thing I thought of, in the situation I just recounted, wasn’t God; I did not call out to Him to save my child.  I tried to deal with the situation myself—and in relying on my own resources—I vacillated between terror and anger. 

Perhaps, you can relate.  Perhaps you too, try to deal with your life situations with your own resources, not turning to the Lord.

I have just recounted one story, yet, over the past 29 years of being a mother—my life is filled with many stories, many moments.  

I have seen that being a mother has taken everything I have and more.  It has brought out my worst self, and my best self.  Like most mothers—I would willingly lay down my life for my children—-yet get annoyed with them for the smallest of offenses. 

Fortunately, I have a Father who is the most patient of teachers, and He continues to give me lessons on how to love, until I learn.  He is the most consistent, faithful, love-motivated teacher there is.  His goal—to make me Holy, (whole), like Him.   I came to Him broken, and He—He is fixing me.  He is teaching me to love, like He loves.

It does not happen overnight, or in a month or in years—it takes a lifetime—it takes believing God and acting out what He shows me to do.   

Just recently, I had another incident where I reacted from emotion.  I thought I was beyond doing such things, but I am never beyond those things, because I will always need God.  Whenever I think, “I’ve got this.”  Life will throw me a curve-ball, and I will realize once again, “No I don’t have this, and God, please—HELP!! 

Being a mom, has taught me how amazing God’s grace truly is, as I am continually leaning into Him to just take the next step, when my strength has given out.  If that’s what you are learning as well—you are in a good place—you are in your Father’s hands—the safest place to be.

So Be Encouraged!!