Today, I reread an old journal of mine. I found this journal that I kept right after my son Sean died. In it, I share memories of Sean, and I pour out my grief and sorrow. However, as I read it–I was struck by a quote I wrote down from the movie, “The Return of the King, (Lord of the Rings). , “How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on, when in your heart you begin to understand… there is no going back? There are some things that time cannot mend. Some hurts that go too deep, that have taken hold.” (Frodo Baggins). “
At the end of the movie, Frodo says to Sam, “You cannot always be torn in two. You will have to be one and whole for many years. You have so much to enjoy and to be and to do. Your part in the story will go on.
It struck me because just recently I wrote in my journal:
Father, I have been saying, , “You are worthy of loving, You are worthy of serving, You are worthy of obeying, You are worthy of trusting, you are worthy of praising even when my world and circumstances are horrid.” For one thing–You will always be worthy regardless of my life and circumstances. For another thing–there are wonderful moments as well as the horrid ones.
There is my sweet 6 month old grandbaby giving us her mostly toothless grins, and the sweetness and vibrancy of our one year old granddaughter, the charm and laughter of our two year old granddaughter, and exuberance and tenderness of our six year old grandson, the thoughtfulness and compassion of our 8 year old granddaughter.
There are the conversations with my dramatic and daring daughters–where they show me who they are, and I hear about the moments of their lives. There are the conversations with my usually silent sons, where they let me into their worlds and their hearts.
There are many sweet, loving moments with my servant-hearted husband, and our long conversations with each other.
There are many, many acts of love from my family. There is such sweetness in the times we get to talk and the times we have with one another.
After Sean died–I wanted to die too. But, I knew I still had a job to do here on this earth. I knew that though I did not know how I was going to pick up the pieces of my life–that my part in the story must go on for many years. And lo, and behold, I have found that in spite of all the pain, in spite of all the continued pain–that time does not heal—I have gone on. I have enjoyed life. I have enjoyed the many, many gifts of life. I have come to the conclusion over and over again that—”There’s some good in this world, and it’s worth fighting for.” (a quote from Sam to Frodo–as they fight to save the world from the forces of evil.)
“There’s some good in this world, and it is worth fighting for.” God is the One who gives us all that is good in this world–and He is worth living for, He is worth dying for, He is worth everything!! When darkness threatens to fall over our entire world–let us remember–that:
“There is some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it is worth fighting for.”
May We be encouraged!!