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Today is Gonna be a Good day**

When my daughter was 7, she made me a sign, that says, “Today is a gonna be a good day.”  She made me this sign a year after I lost my son, Sean James.

I have that signed propped up on the table beside my bed.

“ TODAY is gonna be a GOOD DAY!!” 

What a thought to open my eyes to, when some days I don’t want to open my eyes.

 During the winter months, when the dark, gray days permeate my spirit, I see this sign: 

“Today is gonna be a good day.” 

I find it a little easier to hang on through the winter.

 This week, the sun has been shining, and snow has been melting, and I am thinking about that sign:

“TODAY is gonna be a GOOD DAY!!”

I can smell spring in the air—the birds are coming back.  The weather is warmer—not warm—but not freezing.

My spirits are rising.  Hope is in the air.  New Life is in the air.

“TODAY is gonna be a GOOD DAY!!”

I have the same problems.  My trials have not gone away.  But somehow, my burdens seem a little lighter.  It is easier to put those things I have no control over, in the Father’s Hands.  It is easier to put the things I think I have control over in the Father’s Hands.

Spring is coming!!  New life will overcome death and decay!! 



Line from this song: The Winter Storms make way for Spring.


**This blog was first published 2 years ago–but it so perfectly reflects my thoughts during this time of year, that I thought I would publish it again. 🙂

Moment By Moment

There are times in my life when I’ve experienced huge miracles, but my response to those miracles has been a trifle lukewarm.  For instance–whenever I’ve been pregnant–I’ve been aware that a tremendous miracle was taking place inside of me.  A child was literally being formed and grown inside of me.  (I used to love to read those books that showed what was happening month by month–and then there was the ultrasound–where my husband and I could actually see our little one moving inside me.)  

However, I usually had terrible morning sickness, (that lasted all day long), and sometimes I thought I was so sick, I could actually die.  (Yes–I might be a trifle melodramatic).  I did not “feel” like a miracle was happening inside of me—I felt miserable.

This past month, I have been aware of another miracle happening.  God is healing my body.  I am doing all the things the doctors are telling us to do, but they are amazed with how fast my body is healing.  One of my doctors even did a little shout, and hand fist, when looking at my progress.

However, I have been battling the same kind of malaise as I did when I was pregnant.  I haven’t been able to “do” much.  

That is difficult.  I often confuse my value and significance with what I do, instead of who I am.  I often confuse who I am with how I feel.    If I “feel” sick, or tired or discouraged—I also feel out of touch with the Lord.  It is hard to focus on Him.  It is difficult to connect with Him.

Even though He is connecting with me, even though He is doing a miracle within me.

Every time I go through one of these times, where I am sick, or incapacitated —  I struggle with my value, and my worth.  I struggle with malaise—not quite depression–but the same kind of sinking that depression brings.  (After I had my third son, I struggled with depression–so this malaise wasn’t/isn’t that.)

So what do I do?  Honestly, I don’t have a lot of energy to remind myself of God’s truths–of how He says I am valuable, and significant in Him.  Or of how He says I am loved and I belong in Him. Yet, God uses these times to remind me, : It’s not what I can “do” for Him but what He has done for me–that brings me all of the afore mentioned blessings.”

Sometimes I think, when I go through these down times, when I am so very weak–this is when I most experience the strength of God. This is when I see how much He carries me step by step. He stays with me, moment by moment, He has not and will never leave me. He holds all of His children, and will never leave any of us.

God continues to work His miracles—for He is and ever will be a wondrous, faithful and loving Father.

May We Be Encouraged!!


It’s been awhile since my last blog.  I’ve been recuperating from my health crisis, but I think I’m seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, and I’m really looking forward to doing all the “things” I’m used to doing.

However, In the meantime, I’ve been reading some inspiring books, and watching videos about decluttering and organizing.  (I’m going to put a link in this blog with one that helped me figure out my organizational style–and now I’m raring to put my knowledge into action.) Click here to go to video.

Also, I’m going to share a blog I’ve written called, “Spring Cleaning”.   This is the time of year, I’m thinking about and attempting to dive into some “Spring Cleaning”.  I have not been able to do that yet–but someday soon–it is going to happen!!

Without further ado—   Spring Cleaning!!

PUBLISHED ON April 27, 2022

This is the time of year for Spring Cleaning—cleaning out closets, and cupboards, giving away what others can use, and throwing away what no one can use, organizing and cleaning what remains.   

I don’t really like Spring Cleaning.  It is not my “milieu”—my area of strength.

I feel like God has been doing some Spring Cleaning, in my “house.”   Lately, I have been through some circumstances that have reminded me of other painful times in my life.  Times of conflicts with others, times I felt vulnerable and exposed and rejected.

Usually, when I am reminded of these times, I feel the same feelings of anger and a desire for the offending party to experience justice.   This time, God has said, “I want you to look at this situation, really look–and I want you to forgive this person.  Forgive them from your heart.  Now, I want you to Thank Me, for this — whatever it is.    

In the words of Ney Bailey, “We become bitter to the degree that we do not give thanks.”  Or in the words of scripture, “See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God, and no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble and by it many be defiled.”  Hebrews 12:15

“In everything give thanks for this is the will of God for you, in Christ Jesus our Lord.” 1 Th 5:18

God commands us to give thanks to Him, in everything!!  He tells us this, for our benefit–to get our eyes off the storm, and onto Him–our Protector in the midst of the storms.

When I was giving thanks to God for these difficult things–I did not feel thankful, I will probably never “feel” thankful.  I thanked Him because I am seeking to obey Him, despite my feelings.  I am seeking to live a life of faith–of obeying what God tells me, in spite of my feelings.

For a long time, I have let my feelings dictate my forgiveness of others.  But as I said in my last post, Embracing Joy, I am determined to forgive others who have wronged me, and to seek forgiveness from others whom I have wronged.

I also seek to thank God for these situations—as doing so digs out the roots of bitterness in my life, roots I did not even realize were taking hold of my heart and my life, until God began doing some Spring Cleaning in my life.

I think God has been desiring to do this Spring Cleaning in my life, for a long time, but I have been putting this off for a long time–just as I put off the Spring Cleaning in my home, because I don’t like it.  However, I love the end result of Spring Cleaning.  I love finding things in my closet.  I love finding things in my house.  I love a good, cleaned and organized, visually beautiful home.

We are God’s temple.  He lives inside of each of us.  When we allow Him to give us a “Spring Cleaning”, we really reflect Him.  We reflect His love and forgiveness for others.  We reflect His eternal priorities and perspectives.  We reflect His generosity and grace.   We shine–because He is shining through us.

I encourage all of us, to take some time with the Lord and allow Him to point out the areas where only He can go, to sweep out the cobwebs, and shine all the lights–to get rid of the roots of bitterness–and wash away the sins of unforgiveness.    It may be painful at first, but afterwards–”it yields the peaceful fruit of His righteousness.”  Hebrews 12:11  

Jesus wants to do some Spring Cleaning–and He is really good at it!!  He is just waiting for us to give Him the keys to our homes.  

May We Be Encouraged!!

My Valentine’s Day Gift, (written 3 years ago)

Recently, I was communicating with another mom who lost her son, and I asked her if she frequently dreamed about her son. It reminded me of a dream I had about Sean 3 years ago. I actually wrote a blog about this dream and I sent the blog to her, but I thought I would share it again–as it reminded me of the importance of mothering–even in the smallest of moments–and I want to encourage you moms–that all the things you do, the kissing of the boo-boos, blowing noses, changing diapers, it all matters, love always matters.

Last night I received a gift.  I got to live a few moments of being Sean’s mom again.  I know it was a dream.  I very seldom have dreams where I see Sean.  I can remember less than a handful in the past 6 ½ years.   Each dream when I see my son is a gift.  Even if I dreamed of Sean every night, it would be a gift, but I might not be a functioning human being, if that were the case, as each dream is so emotional and carries a price.

In this particular dream, we were at an event at church.   It was an event for the children.   A bunch of younger boys were laying on the floor, listening to a story.  All of a sudden there was a tussle, and I looked down in the crowd of boys and saw my son Sean, who was only 7 or 8 in the dream.  He had just got wacked in the face, and his nose was bleeding.  He was trying valiantly not to cry.

While yelling at the boys to stop, and glaring at them, I reached down, grabbed Sean, comforted him with a hug, and started dealing with his bleeding nose.

In other words – I got to mother him.   For those few moments in time when I was dreaming, I got to be Sean’s mom once again.

Now it seems that all my children—are ages, where it isn’t simple to be a mom.  Gone are the days of hugs and kisses that solve almost every problem.   I don’t always know what to do.  I spend a lot of time praying and asking for wisdom, then coming to the conclusion that for most of my children, my role now is to just love and let go.   So much harder to do than it sounds.

If Sean were here on this earth, he would be 22 years old, probably getting ready to graduate from college.   I can picture what he would look like in my mind’s eye, how he would have grown and matured.  When I look at my oldest son, and my youngest daughter—I see glimmers of Sean.  I see glimmers of him, in my nephew.  I see his wonderful spirit in my grandson.  How grateful I am for the real moments that have come my way of getting to hug and comfort children again through my grandchildren and great nieces and nephews.

In my dream, Sean was 7 or 8.  Young enough to hug and comfort, young enough to mother.

It’s funny—in real life, there were so many moments for mothering—for hugs and kisses and let’s put a bandage on that, that they all kind of run together into one vague memory.

Now I have a memory—it is not a real one—but it represents one of the many, many memories that is now less than distinct.  

That is a gift, to now have a memory of mothering Sean, that I can savor, and which my broken heart can hold fast . So, thank you God.  Happy Valentine’s To me!!

Eternal Love

I was in the hospital last week, for five days.  And–I had a blast.  I chatted with the nurses and the staff, finding out their stories, laughing and laughing with them.  It was a rare social occasion for me.  

On the other hand, my family has been very anxious over my health–we’ve had to face my mortality.  My daughters cried, my husband was tight faced, my boys were tender.

You see, once death has visited your family, you know–it can visit again.  You always know that–but last week was a slap in the face reminder of that.

I have found myself thinking of the words of the Apostle Paul, found in Phillipians 1: 21-25

“For to me, living means living for Christ, and dying is even better.  But if I live, I can do even more fruitful work for Christ, So I really don’t know which is better.  I am torn between two desires: I long to go to be with Christ, which would be even better for me.    But for your sakes, it is better that I continue to live.  Knowing this, I am convinced that I will remain alive, so I can continue to help all of you grow and experience the joy of your faith.”

I started out the week, wondering if I was going to die, and being actually kind of excited about it–about going to be with Jesus.  But as the week progressed, and I came face to face with the pain my death would inflict upon my family–  I found myself having conversations with the Lord like this,  “Lord, I would like to go home to be with You, but I think it would be better for my family if I stayed, however, You know best–You can see the future, I can’t, so Your will be done.”

As of now–His will is that I live, and stay to be with my family–but I wanted to share with you why I am so sure that I am going to go and be with the Lord when I die.  

I am sure because my eternal life does not depend on me–and how good I am–my eternal life depends on Jesus–and how good He is.  

“He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.”   2 Corinthiians 5:21

What does that mean?  It means in Jesus–an exchange was made—when Jesus died He took my sin and your sin and everyone’s sin, (He could do this because He was God in Human flesh–so with His one death, He could take all our sins upon HImself),  and in exchange He gave us His righteousness.  So now God sees all who are in Christ as righteous.  Isn’t that amazing–God sees us as righteous–because He gave us His righteousness.

“And the testimony is this, God has given us eternal life, and this life is in His Son.  He who has the Son has eternal life, he who does not have the Son, does not have eternal life.  I have written to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may KNOW that you Have eternal life.” 1 John 5:11-13

“This is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God and Jesus Christ, whom You have sent.”  John 17:3

When I first read and studied these scriptures–things started to click for me.  First–God has given—that is in the past tense—God has already given us eternal life–because when we trusted Jesus to be our Savior–we began a relationship with God the Father, and with Jesus, God’s Son–and that is what eternal life is–it is a relationship with God—that goes on past this life into eternity.

Then I read the reason why this scripture was written—so that we would KNOW we have eternal life—not hope, not dream of, not work for—we may KNOW it!!

God wants us to know that He loves us, and nothing—not even death will separate us from the love He has for us.  He wants us to know that He has redeemed us.  He has bought us with a great price–the price of Jesus’ death—so that we may have life with Him eternally.  I use the word, “may have”, because we each individually need to receive this gift from God.  We receive this gift by faith, but prayer is a way to express that faith.  I think I said something like this to God:  “Lord Jesus I need You.  Thank You for dying on the cross for my sins.  Please come into my life and make me the person You want me to be.  Thank You for giving me a relationship with you–thank You for giving me eternal life.”

Jesus tells us in Hebrews 13:5  “….I will never leave you nor forsake you.”   So once Jesus enters our life, He will never leave, and Jesus doesn’t lie.

Our God loves us with an everlasting love!!!   How can we not be excited about being with this God face to face!!  I know that someday, we will all die, but death can be something we don’t have to fear, in fact it can be something we eagerly anticipate–as Jesus awaits us!!   However, we each have a purpose here in this world–and for now–I hope that purpose of loving others and pointing the way to Jesus will bring us all joy here on this earth.

May We Be Encouraged!!


This past year, many people have been suggesting that I watch the series:  The Chosen.  However, I grew up watching movies about Jesus–and while they were good, I thought this would be just one more like the others.

Recently, my mom started telling me to watch, “The Chosen.”  I don’t know if your mom is anything like mine, but my mom will suggest something, and then she will ask, “So, have you started watching “The Chosen”?  What do you think of it? “    In other words, she will follow through on her suggestion until her suggestion gets implemented, LOL,–so I started to watch, “The Chosen”.

I was pleasantly surprised.  It is not at all, like any show or movie I have ever watched about Jesus.  There is humor in it, but serious moments–great story lines–great character development.  This is really, really good.

Mostly, I love the character of Jesus.  I love ‘seeing’ the actor bring out the qualities that Jesus actually has: His grace, His truth, His kindness.His humanness, His divinity.

When I first heard Jesus say to me, “Follow Me”,  I was filled with wonder, and overwhelmed by His personal love for me.  As time went on, some of that wonder faded.  Life is hard.  I have grown tired.

This show, “The Chosen”–is reminding me of the days of my first love.  It is reminding me of the wonder of those days.

So I am recommending to all of you to watch the Series, “The Chosen.”  Apparently, people have been giving to Angel Studios, so that anyone, anywhere can watch this series for free. **What a wonderful thing.  God’s love is the only thing I know that is free–although it costs Him, His Son to make it available to all of us.  How fitting that the series that brings us this Good News–should also be free. Click here to go to Angel Studios to watch this and other things for free.

May we be encouraged!!

**. (f you already stream from Amazon Prime and Netflix–you can find, “The Chosen” series on them as well.)

Your part in the story will go on….

Today, I reread an old journal of mine. I found this journal that I kept right after my son Sean died.  In it, I share memories of Sean, and I pour out my grief and sorrow.  However, as I read it–I was struck by a quote I wrote down from the movie, “The Return of the King, (Lord of the Rings). ,  “How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on, when in your heart you begin to understand… there is no going back? There are some things that time cannot mend. Some hurts that go too deep, that have taken hold.” (Frodo Baggins). “

At the end of the movie, Frodo says to Sam, You cannot always be torn in two. You will have to be one and whole for many years. You have so much to enjoy and to be and to do. Your part in the story will go on.

It struck me because just recently I wrote in my journal: 

Father,  I have been saying, , “You are worthy of loving, You are worthy of serving, You are worthy of obeying, You are worthy of trusting, you are worthy of praising even when my world and circumstances are horrid.”   For one thing–You will always be worthy regardless of my life and circumstances.  For another thing–there are wonderful moments as well as the horrid ones. 

There is my sweet 6 month old grandbaby giving us her mostly toothless grins, and the sweetness and vibrancy of our one year old granddaughter, the charm and laughter of our two year old granddaughter, and exuberance and tenderness of our six year old grandson, the thoughtfulness and compassion of our 8 year old granddaughter.

There are the conversations with my dramatic and daring daughters–where they show me who they are, and I hear about the moments of their lives.  There are the conversations with my usually silent sons, where they let me into their worlds and their hearts.

There are many sweet, loving moments with my servant-hearted husband,  and our long conversations with each other.

There are many, many acts of love from my family.  There is such sweetness in the times we get to talk and the times we have with one another.

After Sean died–I wanted to die too.  But, I knew I still had a job to do here on this earth.  I knew that though I did not know how I was going to pick up the pieces of my life–that my part in the story must go on for many years.   And lo, and behold, I have found that in spite of all the pain, in spite of all the continued pain–that time does not heal—I have gone on.  I have enjoyed life.  I have enjoyed the many, many gifts of life.  I have come to the conclusion over and over again that—”There’s some good in this world, and it’s worth fighting for.”  (a quote from Sam to Frodo–as they fight to save the world from the forces of evil.)

“There’s some good in this world, and it is worth fighting for.”   God is the One who gives us all that is good in this world–and He is worth living for, He is worth dying for, He is worth everything!!  When darkness threatens to fall over our entire world–let us remember–that:

“There is some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it is worth fighting for.”

May We be encouraged!!


This week our homeschool co-op started up.  I found myself talking to a couple of young moms who are just starting to homeschool.  One of them started homeschooling because of Covid.  The other one heard a definite call from God to homeschool.  I started homeschooling because of my husband.  He had ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) as a child–and school felt like a prison to him.  It was becoming increasingly clear that our oldest son had ADHD, and we decided to homeschool because of this.

I found myself telling these young moms some of our story—I think because I hoped to allay some of their future trials with homeschooling–although honestly–my parents and probably yours–tried to teach us from the wisdom of their experiences–and I have found that I usually learn from my own experiences not others.

However, in case any parents– are reading this—this is what I wish I could tell them–this is what I wish they could learn from my own experiences:

  1.  Homeschooling is a calling, and God will make it very clear if He is calling you–if you are open to considering it.  (So many moms have told me– “I could never do that”–  In other words–even if God was calling them to homeschool, they would not hear His call. )  Some of us fall into this calling by circumstances–like Covid–or in our case–a medical condition of our child that was best served by teaching at home.   However when my oldest was going into 5th grade, I decided to put him in public school.  God told me very clearly not to do this.  My son had 2 years of being bullied and lost a lot of ground scholastically because I decided to ignore what God was clearly communicating.  Just as a good parent will call out to their child, when the child is entering the street when a car is coming–so God was calling out to me—but I chose not to obey.
  1.  God may call you to homeschool some of your children and not homeschool others, or not homeschool at all.

A few of my children–when they were in the older grades of High School, went to public school.  God made it very clear to all of us that this was the correct decision for them.  My second son wanted to go to public High School because he wanted to reach other students for Jesus.  He wanted to run with the track and cross country team.  A few weeks into the fall term–our third son was killed as he was riding his bike.  Our second son had his cross country team to support him during this time.  They wore t-shirts and plastic bracelets in memory of my third son.  They loved on my second son.  Again–God made it clear to our spirits–before this son went to High School–that this was the right decision for him at this time.

  1.  If God is calling you to homeschool, He will strengthen you, even if you feel inadequate.  I have been homeschooling for over 25 years–and I still feel inadequate–I still wonder if I am going to ruin my child–and not prepare her well for her  future.  In fact, most homeschooling moms that I know, are plagued by the same doubts and fears.   I am only homeschooling one child right now–and guess what–it is not easy.  It has never been easy.  No calling from God will ever be easy.
  1.  God does not expect perfection from us, but He does want us to be honest—He wants us to be honest when we are at the end of our ropes and need help.  He wants to be honest, when we react in anger to our children and ask for forgiveness from Him and from them.  He wants us to be honest with other moms–and not act like we have it all together–because we are afraid of what they’ll think about us if they know how not altogether we really are.
  1.  The fifth and last thing I would suggest to those who are prayerfully considering homeschooling or are homeschooling, but are not in a support group—is to join a homeschool co-op.  

The first few years I homeschooled I had a best friend, (Becki Crain) who homeschooled.  Becki had been a school teacher before she homeschooled.  She taught me so much.  Then Becki died.  I did not have a support group.  So I joined a group.  Wow!!  There is so much power in joining with others!  First, my kids loved it!!  Second, other parents have abilities in different areas than my husband or I have.  It is and was wonderful to have my children learn from others who are teaching them from their strengths.

It was not easy finding this group.  This was before the internet.  However—if God is calling you to homeschool–He will also equip you to this task–and if a support group is what you need–God will provide one for you, be it one other person—or a huge group.

I guess the main idea from all these points–is that the burden of parenting–or homeschooling is not on me, and it is not on you—the burden is on God.  This is what God means when He tells us to abide in Him, for apart from Him we can do nothing. (John 15)

It is also what He means when He says that we can do mighty things, but if we don’t do these things in love, it means nothing. (1 Corinthians 13)

I hope that the thought of the burden being on God–and not you–will encourage you!!  It does me. 🙂

God is Faithful, Forever

Scared, oh I thought I knew scared

Now I’m so filled with fear

I can barely move.

Doubts, I’ve had my share of doubts

But never more than right now

I’m wondering where You are.

I’m on the edge of fall apart

But somehow Your promises

 Find my troubled heart.

 When I first heard these song lyrics from the song: Truth I’m Standing On, I thought—wow, someone wrote a song that exposes my deepest thoughts and feelings.   I especially liked the line—I’m on the edge of fall apart.   Have you ever felt that way?  Like you are on the Edge of Fall Apart?

The song goes on to say:

This is the truth I’m standing on

Even when all my strength is gone

You are faithful forever

And I know You’ll never

Let me fall.

Right now I’m choosing to believe

Someday soon I’ll look back and see

This pain had a purpose

Your plan was perfect all along

This is the truth I’m standing on.

This is the truth I’m standing on, even when all my strength is gone—You are faithful Forever!!  God –You are faithful forever!!    This video is a man telling a powerful story from his life that illustrates so clearly  the faithfulness of God, and the steadfastness of God’s love.

God loves us with steadfastness, and faithfulness, teaching us how to love others as well.   This is the truth I’m standing on—a truth that encourages me as I pray it does you!

Christmas Smells

This is the time of year our family does a lot of Christmas baking, and with Christmas baking comes Christmas smells!   Recently, my daughter and I got into our car, and the whole car was filled with Christmas smells—of carmel, and chocolate and ginger, cinnamon and cloves!

We carried the smells with us—they surrounded us and clung to us, as we had been surrounded by them in our baking.

I told my daughter that it reminded me of a verse in the Bible

For we are a fragrance of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing;   2 Cor 2:15

When I was a freshman in college, there was a young woman that lived on my floor, who had a huge smile on her face, she was always so happy—and she really irritated me.   I could not stand being around her.   I found myself wanting to slap that smile off her face.  I thought, “No one can be that happy, she must be faking.” 

Then my roommate—my best friend at college—talked with her and another girl, and understood how to have a relationship with God from talking with them.  Spoiler Alert–that other girl would become one of my bridesmaids at my wedding–and remains one of my best friends.

Suddenly, my roommate really began irritating me as well.  I avoided being around her.  I would snap at her about silly things.

These people were the fragrance of Christ to me—but I was headed away from God, not to HIm—and they really irritated me.

Then after snapping at my roommate, about a silly thing, she looked at me and said, “you know Katie, I’m not perfect, I’m just forgiven.”  

Oh how I wanted that–I wanted to be forgiven.   

I share this story–because maybe in the process of being the fragrance of Christ—someone is snapping at you, someone is irritated by you.   Just keep walking close to Jesus, and who knows—you may say something—something so simple—but so profound–that it makes an eternal difference.

May you be encouraged!!  May you keep giving off all those Christmas smells!!