Category: conflict

And so the conflict continues…..

Published on by katiesencouragementforyou6 Comments

“He did this terrible thing.  I just hate him!!”

“No Mom, this is what really happened…”

And so the conflict continues…and parents around the world are faced with strife and conflict between their children.

As a parent, I can usually see both sides of the conflict.  Both people have a legitimate grievance, and both have a reason to feel justified in their anger.   Yet, because I love both parties intensely, I want them to share that same love for each other—a love that covers a multitude of sins.

How I wish they could see each other through my eyes—they would see the hurt places in the other; they would have a well of love for the other; they would see the other’s perspective.  Then perhaps they could look past their own hurt, and forgive, and be forgiven.

This is our Heavenly Father’s perspective, and this is every good parent’s perspective.  We want our children to love one another. 

That’s it—we want our children to love one another—and all that love encompasses—forgiving, giving and serving.

Sometimes, as a parent, we actually see this happening, we see the love, we see the forgiving, we see the serving.   It is one of the most beautiful things to behold.

What parent doesn’t smile to see their children hug?  What parent isn’t encouraged to hear one child praise another? Or offer to help each other?

When my son Sean was alive, he had a sibling that angered him a great deal.  I would hear his story of woe about this sibling, and vice versa. The summer before he passed away, he made peace with this sibling.  Their relationship was healed.  They confided in each other, they helped each other, they loved each other, but first they forgave each other.  They willingly laid their grievances down about the other.  They chose with their wills to not take into account the wrongs they had suffered in the past.  They chose to think the best of each other, while sharing the worst with each other.

I have been so grateful for this knowledge, that Sean went onto the next life, at peace with this sibling.

Right now, there is hatred and violence and discord all around our world.

The world would be a different place if we saw each other the way God sees us.  He sees the total picture, the hurt on both sides, the right on both sides, the wrong, and evil on both sides.  He also sees what can be done when we willingly lay our grievances down; when we do not take into account the wrong we have suffered in the past; when we chose to think the best of each other, while being honest about the worst that has happened.  God sees what happens when we forgive, as He has forgiven us. 

What happens is reconciliation– what happens is peace.

It’s a beautiful thing to see this kind of peace—ask any parent—ask the greatest Parent of all!

It’s a beautiful and encouraging thing!!

Difficult People

Published on by katiesencouragementforyou4 Comments

Difficult People

Difficult People—Everyone has them–they are the people we find hard to love– hard to even be around,  They don’t mesh with our personalities.  They don’t get our jokes.  We sense that they don’t really like us either.   Or maybe, they like us too much, if you know what I mean. 

Difficult people–how do we navigate “difficult people”?

When I was in college, I was involved with a Christian group and I read a booklet called, “How to Love by Faith.”  It was about not relying on our feelings, but choosing to love and act out love, and relying on God to give us the ability to do this. This booklet was so helpful to me–you can click here to read it yourself.

However, in spite of having all this great information—there was a person in my life–that I found hard to like–in fact–  she was a difficult person for many people.  She was in a leadership position, and she used that position to bully people, not serve them.  I sensed that she did not have many friends.  She seemed to take joy in intimidating others.  She would verbally bully others to do her will.  

I have wondered over the years, why I found it so difficult to, “love her by faith”–why did my feelings keep winning in regards to her.

This is my breakthrough thought—it was because of how I felt about myself around her.  I felt powerless.  I felt like a victim.  I felt inadequate.  I felt……lesser than.

Why did I feel these things?   Because I was believing lies about myself—–lies that the father of lies is eager for all of us to believe—lies she was probably also believing about herself—

What are these lies?.

  1.  My value is based on my position, possessions, power or personal appearance.
  2. I have to be perfect to be loved.
  3. I’ll never really belong.

However, that is not what God says is true of me–

He says I am valuable:  “Look at the birds of the air, they do not reap or sow or gather into barns. Yet your Heavenly Father feeds them.  Are you not worth much more than they?” Matthew 6:26

“Indeed the very hairs on your head are numbered, do not fear, you are more valuable than many sparrows.”  Luke 12: 7

 God says I am loved:  “…the Son of God, who loved me and died for me.” Galatians 2:20b

 “….the love of God has been poured out in our hearts…..” Romans 5:5b

.

God says I belong, “ You belong to Christ…..” I Cor. 3:23a

“But you are a chosen race, a royal Priesthood, a Holy Nation, a people of God’s own possession…..”  1 Peter 2:9

  The Evil One would like me to believe that I am worthless, unloveable and worth rejecting and whether this person knew it or not, by the manner in which she treated people–she was conveying all those lies.

So, here is the real question, “Do I now love this person by faith?”  “Yes, I do!”  And it is fairly easy to do, because I never see her anymore!!  🙂  LOL

However, God has brought other ‘difficult’ people into my life–and because of my experience struggling to love her, I am able to love them, as I abide in Christ, and focus on Him and His truths.

Honestly, God’s love—it will transform our world!!

So Be Encouraged!!

Spring Cleaning

Published on by katiesencouragementforyou5 Comments

This is the time of year for Spring Cleaning—cleaning out closets, and cupboards, giving away what others can use, and throwing away what no one can use, organizing and cleaning what remains.   

I don’t really like Spring Cleaning.  It is not my “milieu”—my area of strength.

I feel like God has been doing some Spring Cleaning, in my “house.”   Lately, I have been through some circumstances that have reminded me of other painful times in my life.  Times of conflicts with others, times I felt vulnerable and exposed and rejected.

Usually, when I am reminded of these times, I feel the same feelings of anger and a desire for the offending party to experience justice.   This time, God has said, “I want you to look at this situation, really look–and I want you to forgive this person.  Forgive them from your heart.  Now, I want you to Thank Me, for this — whatever it is.    

In the words of Ney Bailey, “We become bitter to the degree that we do not give thanks.”  Or in the words of scripture, “See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God, and no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble and by it many be defiled.”  Hebrews 12:15

“In everything give thanks for this is the will of God for you, in Christ Jesus our Lord.” 1 Th 5:18

God commands us to give thanks to Him, in everything!!  He tells us this, for our benefit–to get our eyes off the storm, and onto Him–our Protector in the midst of the storms.

When I was giving thanks to God for these difficult things–I did not feel thankful, I will probably never “feel” thankful.  I thanked Him because I am seeking to obey Him, despite my feelings.  I am seeking to live a life of faith–of obeying what God tells me, in spite of my feelings.

For a long time, I have let my feelings dictate my forgiveness of others.  But as I said in my last post, Embracing Joy, I am determined to forgive others who have wronged me, and to seek forgiveness from others whom I have wronged.

I also seek to thank God for these situations—as doing so digs out the roots of bitterness in my life, roots I did not even realize were taking hold of my heart and my life, until God began doing some Spring Cleaning in my life.

I think God has been desiring to do this Spring Cleaning in my life, for a long time, but I have been putting this off for a long time–just as I put off the Spring Cleaning in my home, because I don’t like it.  However, I love the end result of Spring Cleaning.  I love finding things in my closet.  I love finding things in my house.  I love a good, cleaned and organized, visually beautiful home.

We are God’s temple.  He lives inside of each of us.  When we allow Him to give us a “Spring Cleaning”, we really reflect Him.  We reflect His love and forgiveness for others.  We reflect His eternal priorities and perspectives.  We reflect His generosity and grace.   We shine–because He is shining through us.

I encourage all of us, to take some time with the Lord and allow Him to point out the areas where only He can go, to sweep out the cobwebs, and shine all the lights–to get rid of the roots of bitterness–and wash away the sins of unforgiveness.    It may be painful at first, but afterwards–”it yields the peaceful fruit of His righteousness.”  Hebrews 12:11  

Jesus wants to do some Spring Cleaning–and He is really good at it!!  He is just waiting for us to give Him the keys to our homes.  

May We Be Encouraged!!

Repairing the Damage of Your Words?

Published on by katiesencouragementforyou4 Comments

In Marriage, in relationships, words are powerful.  They can tear down; they can build up. 

This video, titled Repairing the Damage of Your Words, has been very helpful to us.  My husband and I both share this with you, in hopes that it will help you as well.

If after you have watched it, you think—that is great, but I have tried to control my words, and I just can’t seem to stop being angry or hurtful, what do I do?

First you are not alone.  The first step to healing is acknowledging the problem.

Second, God has given us His Holy Spirit to empower us and change us. If you click on the past sentence it will take you to a website that will explain how you can plug into God’s power, relying on His strength.

Third, we can ask others to pray for us, preferable a small group from a Bible Study, or a friend who will pray.

Fourth, God has supplied the church with men and women who can provide wise counsel. Their role is to help us focus on God and receive His wisdom.

We are praying for you!!  Please pray for us as well!!

May we be encouraged!!

Home
Home

And so the conflict continues…..

Published on by katiesencouragementforyou2 Comments

“He did this terrible thing.  I just hate him!!”

“No Mom, this is what really happened…”

And so the conflict continues…and parents around the world are faced with strife and conflict between their children.

As a parent, I can usually see both sides of the conflict.  Both people have a legitimate grievance, and both have a reason to feel justified in their anger.   Yet, because I love both parties intensely, I want them to share that same love for each other—a love that covers a multitude of sins.

How I wish they could see each other through my eyes—they would see the hurt places in the other; they would have a well of love for the other; they would see the other’s perspective.  Then perhaps they could look past their own hurt, and forgive, and be forgiven.

This is our Heavenly Father’s perspective, and this is every good parent’s perspective.  We want our children to love one another. 

That’s it—we want our children to love one another—and all that love encompasses—forgiving, giving and serving.

Sometimes, as a parent, we actually see this happening, we see the love, we see the forgiving, we see the serving.   It is one of the most beautiful things to behold.

What parent doesn’t smile to see their children hug?  What parent isn’t encouraged to hear one child praise another? Or offer to help each other?

When my son Sean was alive, he had a sibling that angered him a great deal.  I would hear his story of woe about this sibling, and vice versa. The summer before he passed away, he made peace with this sibling.  Their relationship was healed.  They confided in each other, they helped each other, they loved each other, but first they forgave each other.  They willingly laid their grievances down about the other.  They chose with their wills to not take into account the wrongs they had suffered in the past.  They chose to think the best of each other, while sharing the worst with each other.

I have been so grateful for this knowledge, that Sean went onto the next life, at peace with this sibling.

Right now, there is hatred and violence and discord all around our world.

The world would be a different place if we saw each other the way God sees us.  He sees the total picture, the hurt on both sides, the right on both sides, the wrong, and evil on both sides.  He also sees what can be done when we willingly lay our grievances down; when we do not take into account the wrong we have suffered in the past; when we chose to think the best of each other, while being honest about the worst that has happened.  God sees what happens when we forgive, as He has forgiven us. 

What happens is reconciliation– what happens is peace.

It’s a beautiful thing to see this kind of peace—ask any parent—ask the greatest Parent of all!

It’s a beautiful and encouraging thing!!