Category: It’s all about love!!

October 21, 2022

Published on by katiesencouragementforyou6 Comments

This is the Thirteenth Year Since my Dad has passed–I wrote this letter to friends and family the Christmas after he passed, and I would like to share it again with you all.

Dear Family and Friends, Christmas 2009
This year, my siblings and I lost our Dad. Our mother lost her husband of 52 years. Many of you lost a brother, brother-in-law, uncle, Grandpa, cousin– a friend.
I’ve lived long enough to know that not all Dads were like mine. I was one of the lucky ones. I had a Dad who was involved and committed to his family: he loved his wife, children and grandkids. My Dad wasn’t one of the lucky ones. He overcame a very painful childhood. He wanted things to be different for his own family, and it was— in large part because of his faithful helpmate and soul mate—my dearest mother.
So many of my childhood memories involve my Dad doing things with us, taking us skating, sledding, camping, and swimming. When I was in High School I decided to join the track team– my Dad ran with me every day to get me in shape for the track season. My Dad was a great runner himself, and in many ways I think my Dad was trying to get me ready to run the race of life. We would run, and he would tell me stories, trying to impart his own passion and drive into my approach to running, into my approach to life.
It was my Uncle Jimmy, not my Dad, who told us the story of my Dad running in the State finals. He was the only white runner in the race. The other racers turned to him, and said, “Hey white boy, what are you doing in this race.” My Dad replied with a grin, “You’re about to find out”, and he went on to win the race.”
My brother Patrick summed it up so well, he said Dad has taught us and trained us in so many ways to live life. My brothers got to be with my Dad when he died, and Patrick said that Dad had one more lesson to teach them, he taught them how to die– he wrote the last chapter for them on how a life should be lived.
The biggest lesson my Dad taught me was to never give up. Our sins and failings may bring us down, but they don’t have to keep us down. My Dad was a man of faith; he learned to receive God’s forgiveness and extend it to others. This was not easy for him–sometimes the hardest person he had to forgive was himself.
The night that he died, I sensed my Dad’s presence, and he was so happy. My Dad came to say goodbye. He was finally going home—to his true home, he had finished his race, and he had finished it well.
Whenever I go to a funeral and see the body—I am struck with the fact that all of us are “living souls”. That is what the Bible calls us. It is so apparent to me that the soul of the person has passed on.
God is offering each of us “living souls” an eternal relationship with Him. He wants to give us the gift of His love and forgiveness. This is the true gift of Christmas— “The wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ, our Lord.” Romans 6:23 What we have earned is a spiritual death, because we have each sinned against God and each other. Instead of what we have earned, God desires to give us an eternal relationship with Him—Jesus’ death took away the penalty of that spiritual death and replaced it with life. But like any gift—it must be received for it to become truly ours.
In so many ways, my earthly father taught me this. I could never earn the love he freely gave me—but to experience that love, I had to receive it as the gift it was.

On another note–October 21st is my husband’s dad birthday!! I wrote about my husband’s dad in the blog titled September 23, 2013.

The biggest lesson, I have learned from both of these dads–is the lesson of forgiveness and perseverance. They both finished their races in life. They finished well. I think that is so encouraging, as it is a testimony of the faithfulness of God. We can be encouraged by those who have gone before us–for if God was faithful to them, He will be faithful to us!! (Philippians 1:6)

So Be Encouraged!!

The Safest Place To Be

Published on by katiesencouragementforyou4 Comments

I started my “Encouragement from Katie” blogsite a little over 2 years ago.  I have written some stories detailing  the times when I have relied on God’s strength and guidance in my parenting, and that is the purpose of this blog—to encourage young moms to look to God for the answers and strength in their mothering role.   However, there were times when I did not do this.  There were times I was angry, frustrated, fearful, or anxious and I acted out those emotions.  I remember a time when I expressed fear, and then anger, in the space of a heartbeat.

At the time, I was a mom with just 4 children (I would have a fifth- 7 years later); their ages were: 8 years, 4 years, 3 years and 11 months old.  It was time for our church’s VBS and I was helping with it.  I dropped off my 11-month-old with a friend, who also had an 11-month old baby.  She watched our babies while I took the 3 older children to VBS.  At the end of VBS, I loaded up the children in our mini van and ran back in the church to grab something I had forgotten.  Then— I came back out to the van, got in and drove off.  I parked at my friend’s home and went in to get my baby.  I came back out and noticed that my four-year-old was not in the van.  I thought he had gotten out and was wandering around the neighborhood.  I started calling for him, yelling his name one minute, and crying his name in the next.

My friend’s husband looked at me in amazement—I seemed like a woman gone berserk—yelling, then crying, then yelling, then crying.    I was demanding that we call the police and the fire department.  He said, “Why don’t we call the church first, maybe he’s at the church?”   “No”, I snapped back, “I put him in the van, he must have gotten out at your house, and he’s wandering around the neighborhood.”  

“Well”, he said, “let’s just call the church first.”  Eventually, I agreed, and we called the church.  Yes, my child was at the church.  He had gotten out to use the bathroom, and I had not noticed when I got into the van.  Even now, when I remember that story, my heart starts pounding and the adrenaline starts rushing through my body at the terror I experienced when I thought my child was lost.

Why do I recount this story?  Because—this is what life is like isn’t it?  Life is going along, and then something that we don’t expect happens—and how do we react?  I don’t and haven’t always reacted well.  The first thing I thought of, in the situation I just recounted, wasn’t God; I did not call out to Him to save my child.  I tried to deal with the situation myself—and in relying on my own resources—I vacillated between terror and anger. 

Perhaps, you can relate.  Perhaps you too, try to deal with your life situations with your own resources, not turning to the Lord.

I have just recounted one story, yet, over the past 29 years of being a mother—my life is filled with many stories, many moments.  

I have seen that being a mother has taken everything I have and more.  It has brought out my worst self, and my best self.  Like most mothers—I would willingly lay down my life for my children—-yet get annoyed with them for the smallest of offenses. 

Fortunately, I have a Father who is the most patient of teachers, and He continues to give me lessons on how to love, until I learn.  He is the most consistent, faithful, love-motivated teacher there is.  His goal—to make me Holy, (whole), like Him.   I came to Him broken, and He—He is fixing me.  He is teaching me to love, like He loves.

It does not happen overnight, or in a month or in years—it takes a lifetime—it takes believing God and acting out what He shows me to do.   

Just recently, I had another incident where I reacted from emotion.  I thought I was beyond doing such things, but I am never beyond those things, because I will always need God.  Whenever I think, “I’ve got this.”  Life will throw me a curve-ball, and I will realize once again, “No I don’t have this, and God, please—HELP!! 

Being a mom, has taught me how amazing God’s grace truly is, as I am continually leaning into Him to just take the next step, when my strength has given out.  If that’s what you are learning as well—you are in a good place—you are in your Father’s hands—the safest place to be.

So Be Encouraged!!

February Is The Love Month.

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February is the month my parents and my husband’s parents got married. 

February is the Love Month.  My daughter and I went shopping today, to buy little Valentine Day things for loved ones.  Later this week, My husband and I will go shopping together for Valentine Day gifts for our kiddos.  It’s our tradition.

In our family, we only have to do things ‘once’ for it to somehow become a tradition.   We have heard, “Dad, the last time we were here, we did (fill in the blank with a fun activity or place to eat), can we do it again?  Come on—it’s a tradition!!  Come on, Mom, it’s a tradition!!”    And suddenly—just like that, we have a new family tradition.

Having many family traditions has helped us grieve for Sean.  Sometimes, we needed to put some traditions aside.  Even now, we may be in another town, where we haven’t been for a long time—and have had a tradition there that we did when Sean was alive—and those seem to be the most painful.

Traditions that we are more familiar with—we can go on with– the memories are bearable—but when the memories awoken are so fresh—somehow—they are also more real—as if Sean was still in the room, and the pain, the pain—so, so sharp.

 One of the books I found most helpful to the grieving process is called, Tear Soup.  My sister gave it to me after our Dad died.  This book basically gives one permission to grieve—to carve time out of our busy lives, and remember, and cry, and grieve. 

When my best friend died 21 years ago, this coming March, I was a young mom with young children and a baby, and I did not make time to grieve.  In fact, when I put parts of her last letter in the blogs–In Her Own Words, and In Her Own Words, Part II,— I spent time, grieving and grieving and grieving.  I went to her gravesite once with a friend after she died and never revisited it, in part because I don’t know how to get there, but in greater part because it was so painful going the first time, I did not want to experience that pain again.

To be quite honest, I avoid pain.  Which means in my past, I have avoided people who have reminded me of great pain, or places that remind me of great pain.  I don’t think I am alone in doing this.  When I recounted the story of the friend who stopped being my friend after Sean died in the blog Masks—I think that she may have done this in part, because being around me reminded her of her own loss of my son, and she was trying to avoid pain.

However, when one loses a child, one can no longer avoid pain.  Pain is apart of my daily wardrobe.  I have learned to hang out with pain.  I have learned to give myself permission to grieve, and so finally 21 years later—my grief for my friend is so, so fresh, so alive—because what I could not face all those years ago, I can face now.

So, what’s encouraging about this letter.  Well, maybe you are like me, maybe you avoid pain, and the people and places that trigger that pain.   Maybe, you don’t even realize that you are doing that.

I am here to let you know, that if you love, you will eventually lose a person you love, and you will grieve.  If you avoid the grief, it will wait for you, it may even back up on you, but eventually—you will grieve.   I pray that you will find what I have found in the grief—freedom to remember—freedom from the fear of the pain—freedom to enjoy that person and the gifts they brought to your life once again.  Freedom to give your heart to them, knowing they are still and always will be a safe keeper of your heart.

Maybe February will be a love month, for all the loves of our lives—the ones who have gone on into eternity and the ones that remain with us today.  May we celebrate all the loved ones, with whom we have been blessed. And may we be encouraged–even if it is being encouraged to grieve, because grief is a gift of love.

Worried?–no? Praying–Yes!!

Published on by katiesencouragementforyou2 Comments

Well… my birthday has come and gone—and newsflash—I actually had a lovely day!!  I am not sure why after years of having terrible melancholy on my birthday, this year, it was a sweet and enjoyable day.  As I explained in the blog, titled, “The Beat goes on.”, since I can remember, I have felt terribly sad on my birthday, and I don’t know why.  In fact, I just expect to feel badly—but this year although I expected to feel badly–  I did not!!!, and I can only attribute this to the fact that I let you’all know I was feeling sad, and you’all prayed for me; you fought this spiritual battle with me, and for this, I am grateful, so, very, very grateful, and so is my family. 

  I must say, that you prayed for me before—when I wasn’t sleeping, and I shared that with you’all in my blog, “The Gift of Sleep, has been taken away.” and then in my blog, ” I am sleeping again, Thank you God!!,” I was able to tell you’all that I was indeed sleeping again— because you were praying for me.!!

  Wow—who knew that this would be the benefit of writing this blog to me!!  I thought I was just stepping out in faith and being obedient to what God was telling me to do—but God knew that He would also be using this blog in my life—to help me in fighting  spiritual battles.

I hope you will share on my blog areas you need prayer, as I think this could be one of the most encouraging and transforming elements of this blog—all of us praying for each other.

I ask you to pray for my family and myself as we come up to one of the most difficult seasons of the year for us.  We lost our beloved son, (and for my children—their brother), seven years ago this coming September 17th.  Sean was hit by a vehicle while riding his bike on September 16th, and declared dead on the 17th.

This is a season with great pain and suffering, not just for me and my family, but for our entire nation–for many, many reasons. I am praying that our circumstances draw us to the Lover of our souls and that we find what we have all been thirsting and hungering after in Him. May we love one another as we are filled with His love. May our country be changed because of that love.

I found this video that gives examples of the transforming power of God. I found it to be so, so encouraging, and hope it encourages you as well.

We have so much to pray for and about.  I encourage all of us to go before the throne of God to find help in our time of need.  Let us set aside time everyday to humble ourselves before His Mighty Hand and pray!!  And Let Us Be Encouraged!!

Happy 31st Anniversary to us!!

Published on by katiesencouragementforyou4 Comments

Love –God’s Gift

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Tomorrow is my husband and my 30th wedding anniversary.  I remember the first time I saw my husband.  We were both on staff with Cru, (a Christian ministry), working with college students in Wisconsin.  The Wisconsin Staff were taking college students down to Florida for a conference being held over Spring Break and we were riding on Greyhound Buses.  My roommate pointed out the new staff guy in Wisconsin from our bus window.  Rich was standing out in the parking lot talking to some other staff.  He was tall, athletic looking, with dark curly hair, and I thought he was the most handsome man I had ever seen.  I was not looking so lovely, in my sweats, with my hair pulled back in a ponytail, and my thick round glasses on.  (I had decided to forgo my contacts and attractive clothes for comfort.  I was not looking for a husband or a boyfriend, finally happy with my single status at the ripe young age of 27.)

Rich ended up riding on our bus, and sitting in the seat right next to me, (I’m still not sure how that happened).  We talked for the entire 24-hour trip.  We had so much in common; we shared about our families, our college experiences, friends we had in common.  One of the weirdest things that we discussed is that when I graduated from college, I got a job in Columbus, OH.  Rich was finishing his degree at Ohio State University.  We went to the same church for a while, had many of the same friends, babysat for the same family, remember being at certain places at the same time—and we never once met each other or remember seeing or even hearing about each other.  It’s as if God blinded our eyes to one another.  It was not time yet for us to meet.

I remember thinking after that bus trip, “this guy is going to be one of my best friends”.  I felt so comfortable with him, like I had come home.  Rich told me later, that he knew from that bus ride, that he was going to marry me.

Forward to the night before our wedding—I stayed up until 3 a.m. talking with my friend who was one of my bridesmaids, trying to decide if I was really going to go through with the wedding.  There was a storm outside, thunder and lighting and rain—weather truly suitable to the turmoil I was feeling inside.  Could I do this?  Could I really commit my life to this man?  The fear I was experiencing was palpable.  Finally, I went to sleep, and the next morning, I woke up to sunny skies and a feeling of absolute joy and peace exploding within my heart.  God was giving me reassurance that this man was for me, and He would be with me, every step of the way.

I realize now that the reason I was so fearful about making a commitment to one man for the rest of my life, was because I was terrified about letting one person see who I really was and seeing another person for who they were.  I was nervous about the soul intimacy of marriage.  Marriage is about becoming one with another person, which in my mind meant becoming vulnerable to that person, while that person became vulnerable to me.

I did not want to do this– to be vulnerable is to open oneself to being hurt.  I had been hurt in the past and was not eager to be hurt at that level again, at the same time I did not want to hurt Rich.

Before Rich and I got engaged, I prayed and asked God, “Do you want me to marry Rich?”  God answered me, “This man needs to be loved.”  I knew God was telling me that if I married Rich, I was not to hold anything back.

The Holy Spirit has been my faithful teacher.  Nudging me to apologize when I’ve been wrong.  Spurring me on to act out love—even when I do not feel love.  Giving me the courage to be vulnerable, and share who I really am, even when I am filled with fear.  Giving me the faith and patience to accept my husband, realizing it is God’s role to transform my husband in His timing, just as it is God’s role to transform me.

In addition to all these things, God has brought other brothers and sisters in Christ into our lives to help us along the way.  There are times in our lives that I don’t know how we would have endured without this help.  Particularly after our son, Sean died.

I must be honest and say that while at times the Body of Christ has been amazing, it has also been disappointing.   The Body is made up of people, and people—the people to whom we are married, or the people with whom we go to church are not perfect – not by a long shot.  (I include myself as part of the “People”).

Therefore, I have come to glory in what Jesus has done on the cross in dying for us amazing and many times broken people. 

Jesus’s death on the cross is the perfect expression of love.  He sees us for who we really are, and He loves us anyway.  He demonstrated that love by dying for us, so we could belong to Him, and be with Him, forever.

In the movie, “Sleepless in Seattle”, there is a scene where the woman in it describes a scene from another movie—a classic, called “An Affair to Remember:.  In, “An Affair to Remember”, the heroine is in an accident and is paralyzed, and the hero finds her, (after searching for her for a long time), and finds out she is paralyzed, and they embrace and he cries, “I wish it had been me, not you”.  (I always, always cry during this part, as it hits that part of me that recognizes true sacrificial unconditional love—the longing within each human heart.)

This is the love that God has for each of us.  He sees us for who we truly are and loves us unconditionally.  He loves us sacrificially.  So even when others disappoint, God does not.  (Sometimes, that does not “feel” like the truth – but it is the truth, even when it does not “feel” like it.  Our feelings can lie to us, but God and His love letter to us—The Bible—never lie).

It has helped me to remember how forgiven I am, when I need to forgive my husband.  Mostly, it helps to remember how loved I am.  I have been loved with an everlasting love.  You have been loved with an everlasting love.   This love will never fail.  This love will never, ever leave.  Hebrews 13:5

                      So Be Encouraged!!

Weeds In My Garden

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Today, I was out working in my garden.  I remember when I first started gardening, I did not know what a plant was and what was a weed.  I did not know what to pull up and what to leave.  So, some plants I let grow and found out later, they were weeds.  I hardly ever pulled out a true plant, as I was so concerned about doing that, I left it if I had any doubt.

When I was vegetable gardening, I was struck by how often the weed, mimicked the look of the plant—the difference was, the weed did not bear any “fruit” or vegetable, as the case may be.

I think the “fruit” of the Holy Spirit growing in our lives, and the sin growing in our lives, can also look similar at first.

At first, it may be difficult to tell the two apart.  Pride and obsession, a sin in our lives, can look a lot like, self-control, which is a fruit of the Holy Spirit.   How can you tell them apart?  I think it is by how we treat people in the process of life.   If we are hateful, impatient, mean and/or yelling, as we do the things that need to be done—we are probably being motivated out of pride, and obsession. We can even appear to be loving on the outside, but on the inside, we are filled with angst.

If we are kind and loving to others, on the inside and the outside, as we carry out the duties of the day—then we are being motivated by the Holy Spirit, who also produces patience, love and kindness in our lives.

In fact, I believe that God is more concerned about our love for Him and our love for others, than anything else.  This is why Jesus says, the two greatest commandments are, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength, and Love your neighbor as yourself.”

In these days of quarantine—when we are around the same people every day, and nerves are frayed, people haven’t been sleeping, anxiety about the future is growing, we need  to rely on the Holy Spirit to grow the fruits of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.  (Click here to read about how to be filled, (controlled and empowered) by the Holy Spirit.)

I am seeing a great deal of frustration on social media.  I get it—people are scared, and they are scared about different things.

We all think that we are right and feel justified in our feelings of disdain towards those who disagree, but Hatred is a weed.  It is the opposite of love.  And it needs to be pulled out.  It is an obvious weed that everyone can recognize.  It is the weed, that infected the nation of Germany and many other nations before World War II and spread and spread and spread, until the entire world was engulfed in a war. 

 There is no justification in God’s eyes for this hatred people have towards other people.  This is what led to 6 million Jews being killed in concentration camps.  This is what led to mass slaughters of people in Russia and China and so, so many places around the world.  The people that took power, thought they were justified in killing anyone they considered a threat.  They thought they were justified in their hatred of that person or persons who had another point of view– as if disagreement meant that the other person/persons was somehow subhuman.  This was the thinking of the Nazis.    This is the work of Satan.  This is evil.  We must recognize this hatred for what it is, and we must not allow it to live in our hearts and lives.

We may not all agree with each other, yet we can all be kind to each other.  We can love one another, as we rely on the Holy Spirit of God.  God has not changed—He is still telling us to love our neighbors as we love ourselves.   As we turn our lives over to Him—the Master Gardener—He will grow that love in our lives.  We can trust Him.   We are His Garden!! He is committed to growing beautiful “fruit” in our lives and pulling out the weeds, and He never has to guess which is the plant and which is the weed.   Someday His will – which is everything that is good, acceptable and perfect—and abounding in love—will be done on earth as it is in Heaven!! 

So Be Encouraged!!

I am sleeping again!! Thank you God!!

Published on by katiesencouragementforyou9 Comments

I want you all to know, that I have been sleeping at night again.  I am falling to sleep a little later, and waking up a little later, but I am sleeping!!

Again, I am not sure why I wasn’t sleeping, and now I am not sure why I am, except for the fact, that some of you were praying for me, and for that I thank you!!

During these times of stress, sickness and the unknown, many of us are experiencing high levels of anxiety for a variety of reasons.  I think sharing those feelings with each other, can really help, as we pray for each other and communicate our concern for each other. 

This ability we have to show the love of God to each other was made clearer to me when I was in my twenties.   I was single and on staff with Cru and had taken a group of students down to Florida to go to a conference over Spring Break.

The speaker was talking about the love of God.  He said that he didn’t think very many people actually experienced God’s love, were filled up with God’s love, and loved others with God’s love.  He said, the world would be a different place, if people really experienced the love of God.

I felt as if the speaker was talking directly to me.  Here I was, on staff with Cru, a Christian organization, talking to others about God’s love, but feeling so empty on the inside.  I was not experiencing God’s love.

I went out onto the balcony of the hotel room, (one I was sharing with 3 women who were at the conference, but were strangers to me, as they were from another college campus).  The room was empty, and I felt the freedom to pour out all my thoughts and feelings to the Lord.

I told Him that I felt empty on the inside, that I felt as if there was this huge hole inside of me that only He could fill, and I desperately wanted to experience His love.  I was crying and crying and crying.   Then I went into the room, splashed cold water on my face, and prepared to go on with my day.

Not too long after this, my roommates came in the room.  One of them came to me and asked to give me a hug.  She said, “ when I was coming up here, Jesus asked me to give you a hug and to tell you, that He lives in me, and when I hug you to tell you, He is really hugging you and that He loves you.”

My tears started to flow again…  Jesus heard my prayer, and He had sent another person—someone who was part of His Body, to tell me that He loved me. That void within me started to be filled.

When my friend Becky Crain died, God showed me His love through the Body of Christ, as they came to help her and her family in their time of need.

When Sean, our son died, Rich and I were comforted by God’s love, which was expressed through the Body of Believers as they came to help us and our family in our time of need.

The speaker, all those years ago, was right—the world would be a different place if we – the Body of Christ—experienced His love and shared that love with others.

Perhaps this is the time we can do just that….  When I came to you all, and told you that I was having problems sleeping, you prayed, God answered those prayers.

Perhaps it is as simple as letting each other know what we need prayers for….  Perhaps it is as simple as giving a hug, (to those we are not social distancing from), or responding to a financial need, or being available to give comfort and sending expressions of love through cards and phone calls.  

God wants us to know He loves us, and many times, He wants us—His body—to be His arms, to give those hugs, and His mouth, to say, “I love you”, and His feet—to run to help. 

Being loved by the eternal God is an amazing thing, and it is cyclical—I honestly think that  as we experience God’s love, we love each other,  and as we love each other we experience God’s love, and on, and on, it goes, and where it stops—well– it never stops!

So Be Encouraged!!

The Safest Place To Be

Published on by katiesencouragementforyou4 Comments

I started my “Encouragement from Katie” blogsite a little over 4 months ago.  I have written some stories detailing  the times when I have relied on God’s strength and guidance in my parenting, and that is the purpose of this blog—to encourage young moms to look to God for the answers and strength in their mothering role.   However, there were times when I did not do this.  There were times I was angry, frustrated, fearful, or anxious and I acted out those emotions.  I remember a time when I expressed fear, and then anger, in the space of a heartbeat.

At the time, I was a mom with just 4 children (I would have a fifth- 7 years later); their ages were: 8 years, 4 years, 3 years and 11 months old.  It was time for our church’s VBS and I was helping with it.  I dropped off my 11-month-old with a friend, who also had an 11-month old baby.  She watched our babies while I took the 3 older children to VBS.  At the end of VBS, I loaded up the children in our mini van and ran back in the church to grab something I had forgotten.  Then— I came back out to the van, got in and drove off.  I parked at my friend’s home and went in to get my baby.  I came back out and noticed that my four-year-old was not in the van.  I thought he had gotten out and was wandering around the neighborhood.  I started calling for him, yelling his name one minute, and crying his name in the next.

My friend’s husband looked at me in amazement—I seemed like a woman gone berserk—yelling, then crying, then yelling, then crying.    I was demanding that we call the police and the fire department.  He said, “Why don’t we call the church first, maybe he’s at the church?”   “No”, I snapped back, “I put him in the van, he must have gotten out at your house, and he’s wandering around the neighborhood.”  

“Well”, he said, “let’s just call the church first.”  Eventually, I agreed, and we called the church.  Yes, my child was at the church.  He had gotten out to use the bathroom, and I had not noticed when I got into the van.  Even now, when I remember that story, my heart starts pounding and the adrenaline starts rushing through my body at the terror I experienced when I thought my child was lost.

Why do I recount this story?  Because—this is what life is like isn’t it?  Life is going along, and then something that we don’t expect happens—and how do we react?  I don’t and haven’t always reacted well.  The first thing I thought of, in the situation I just recounted, wasn’t God; I did not call out to Him to save my child.  I tried to deal with the situation myself—and in relying on my own resources—I vacillated between terror and anger. 

Perhaps, you can relate.  Perhaps you too, try to deal with your life situations with your own resources, not turning to the Lord.

I have just recounted one story, yet, over the past 27 years of being a mother—my life is filled with many stories, many moments.  

I have seen that being a mother has taken everything I have and more.  It has brought out my worst self, and my best self.  Like most mothers—I would willingly lay down my life for my children—-yet get annoyed with them for the smallest of offenses. 

Fortunately, I have a Father who is the most patient of teachers, and He continues to give me lessons on how to love, until I learn.  He is the most consistent, faithful, love-motivated teacher there is.  His goal—to make me Holy, (whole), like Him.   I came to Him broken, and He—He is fixing me.  He is teaching me to love, like He loves.

It does not happen overnight, or in a month or in years—it takes a lifetime—it takes believing God and acting out what He shows me to do.   

Just recently, I had another incident where I reacted from emotion.  I thought I was beyond doing such things, but I am never beyond those things, because I will always need God.  Whenever I think, “I’ve got this.”  Life will throw me a curve-ball, and I will realize once again, “No I don’t have this, and God, please—HELP!! 

Being a mom, has taught me how amazing God’s grace truly is, as I am continually leaning into Him to just take the next step, when my strength has given out.  If that’s what you are learning as well—you are in a good place—you are in your Father’s hands—the safest place to be.

So Be Encouraged!!

October 21, 2019

Published on by katiesencouragementforyou2 Comments

This is the Ten Year Anniversary of my Dad’s Passing. I would like to share a Christmas Letter, I wrote almost 10 years ago in honor of my Dad.

Dear Family and Friends, Christmas 2009
This year, my siblings and I lost our Dad. Our mother lost her husband of 52 years. Many of you lost a brother, brother-in-law, uncle, Grandpa, cousin– a friend.
I’ve lived long enough to know that not all Dads were like mine. I was one of the lucky ones. I had a Dad who was involved and committed to his family: he loved his wife, children and grandkids. My Dad wasn’t one of the lucky ones. He overcame a very painful childhood. He wanted things to be different for his own family, and it was— in large part because of his faithful helpmate and soul mate—my dearest mother.
So many of my childhood memories involve my Dad doing things with us, taking us skating, sledding, camping, and swimming. When I was in High School I decided to join the track team– my Dad ran with me every day to get me in shape for the track season. My Dad was a great runner himself, and in many ways I think my Dad was trying to get me ready to run the race of life. We would run, and he would tell me stories, trying to impart his own passion and drive into my approach to running, into my approach to life.
It was my Uncle Jimmy, not my Dad, who told us the story of my Dad running in the State finals. He was the only white runner in the race. The other racers turned to him, and said, “Hey white boy, what are you doing in this race.” My Dad replied with a grin, “You’re about to find out”, and he went on to win the race.”
My brother Patrick summed it up so well, he said Dad has taught us and trained us in so many ways to live life. My brothers got to be with my Dad when he died, and Patrick said that Dad had one more lesson to teach them, he taught them how to die– he wrote the last chapter for them on how a life should be lived.
The biggest lesson my Dad taught me was to never give up. Our sins and failings may bring us down, but they don’t have to keep us down. My Dad was a man of faith; he learned to receive God’s forgiveness and extend it to others. This was not easy for him–sometimes the hardest person he had to forgive was himself.
The night that he died, I sensed my Dad’s presence, and he was so happy. My Dad came to say goodbye. He was finally going home—to his true home, he had finished his race, and he had finished it well.
Whenever I go to a funeral and see the body—I am struck with the fact that all of us are “living souls”. That is what the Bible calls us. It is so apparent to me that the soul of the person has passed on.
God is offering each of us “living souls” an eternal relationship with Him. He wants to give us the gift of His love and forgiveness. This is the true gift of Christmas— “The wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ, our Lord.” Romans 6:23 What we have earned is a spiritual death, because we have each sinned against God and each other. Instead of what we have earned, God desires to give us an eternal relationship with Him—Jesus’ death took away the penalty of that spiritual death and replaced it with life. But like any gift—it must be received for it to become truly ours.
In so many ways, my earthly father taught me this. I could never earn the love he freely gave me—but to experience that love, I had to receive it as the gift it was.

On another note–October 21st is my husband’s dad birthday!! I wrote about my husband’s dad in the blog titled September 23, 2013.

The biggest lesson, I have learned from both of these dads–is the lesson of forgiveness and perseverance. They both finished their races in life. They finished well. I think that is so encouraging, as it is a testimony of the faithfulness of God. We can be encouraged by those who have gone before us–for if God was faithful to them, He will be faithful to us!! (Philippians 1:6)

So Be Encouraged!!

Grace Is Unfair

Published on by katiesencouragementforyou4 Comments

Grace Is Unfair

Last week, in my blog, The Gift of Laughter, I referenced the story of Mary and Martha—and I received a comment on this story that got me to thinking about why this story was included in scripture. (In John 21: 25, it says: “Jesus did many other things as well. If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written.”).  God inspired what scripture would be written. (2 Timothy 3:16)   I think God had a specific reason to include this story.

  It reminded me, of another story in scripture that is referred to as the Prodigal Son, found in Luke 15:11-32.  In The Prodigal son  story you have two siblings, one, (the older sibling) stays and helps his Father, and one, (the younger brother), took his inheritance, blew it on partying, than was poor and starving, so he comes crawling back to his Dad, and his Dad welcomes him profusely—throws him a big party, hugs and kisses him, and the older brother is thinking, “Wait a minute—I stayed, have worked faithfully for my Dad, and this loser gets the party—How is that fair?”  This is my paraphrase—for the exact translation, check out Luke 15.

In the case of Mary and Martha, (this story is found in Luke 10: 38-42), Jesus and his band of 12 disciples come to their home, (probably unexpectedly), but Martha knows her role—she know she is in charge of feeding 13 extra people, (and maybe more), as Jesus traveled with quite a group at times.  So, Martha starts bustling—it is all hands-on deck to feed the guests.  Middle Eastern/Asian culture was and is very hospitable, and guests must be treated to the best.  For example: just a week ago, my daughter and I went to the home of some friends, who are from Bangladesh, to borrow some items for a Geography Fair.  They were doing us a favor by loaning us their things—yet they treated us so beautifully, served us some refreshments, and talked so kindly to us. 

 Martha, (having been trained to serve food to guests), starts making food for Jesus and his disciples, and she expects her sister Mary to help.  Mary does not help.  She sits down and listens to Jesus.  How aggravating for Martha!!  In fact, Martha is so aggravated that she appeals to Jesus, as she is certain Jesus will agree with her—and then He does not! Wow!!

Which brings me the title of this blog – Grace is Unfair!!

I think all these stories were about Grace.  Grace is a gift that we receive that we don’t earn, and we don’t deserve.  When people receive a gift for free, those who thought they worked to earn that gift, and so deserve that gift are upset. Jesus’ people thought they had to work to earn God’s acceptance and approval.

Jesus was trying to teach His people, about GRACE. 

 Jesus’ people had laws and rules—given to them by God—and they thought that if they kept these laws, they were acceptable to God and approved of by God— Jesus is trying to teach them a new lesson.  Jesus is trying to tell them and us, “You can’t do enough to be acceptable to Me—for I am Holy.  You may think that you can be approved– by keeping all these laws, but you are not learning the lesson I wanted you to learn.  I want you to learn these laws are impossible for you human beings to keep perfectly. In fact– you keep breaking my laws and presenting sacrifices in order to be forgiven.  Now—I am going to be the Lamb of God—that takes away the sins of the world—the one and final sacrifice for your forgiveness.  This is GRACE, it is a gift from God, not because of your works, so that no one can come to Me and boast— (because I did this—or that)—I deserve a relationship with You.  A relationship with Me is a gift. (Ephesians 2:8,9)

 Jesus is trying to teach us about GRACE, by using these stories.  Martha is used as an example of how we can all try to do what we think Jesus expects us to do, but it may not be what He wants us to do at all. He wants us to rest in Him, enjoy our relationship with Him.  (Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden and I will give you REST.   Matthew 11:28)  Mary is an example of resting in Jesus, enjoying our relationship with Jesus.  This is the gift Jesus wants to give each of us.  Often, resting in Jesus, will mean, finding out what Jesus wants us to do, before we do it.  (Not making assumptions about what His expectations really are.)  For my story about how my husband and I did this—see: “The Gift of Hindsight.”)

In the Prodigal Son—The older son is used as an example of the person who is faithful, loyal, working for God/Dad, (the Dad is used as an example of who God is, in this story), and older brother thinks he has ‘earned’ his relationship with his Dad and ‘earned’ a reward.  The Dad tells him—”you did not have to work to ‘earn’ a relationship with me—you ‘are’ my son.  That is your position.  All these years, we have had fellowship with one another, working with each other, being with each other.  That has been our reward, that has been our gift.  Your brother was lost, he was not apart of our fellowship.  In fact, he was dead, and today, he has come back to life!!  This is worth celebrating!!  Celebrate this with me, my beloved son!!”—this is my paraphrase. J  Actually, the Dad in the story said, “Son, you have always been with me and everything I have is yours.   But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found!”

So what about all these laws God has given us—in Galatians 5:18,22-23, it says— “If you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law……The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control, against these things there is no law.”   In other words, if God’s Spirit is leading you and producing these fruits in you—you are not under the law, because you will be living out all the things the law tried to help you do.  Jesus says all the law can be summed up in, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, strength and soul and Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matthew 22:36-40)

In other words—it’s all about Love—love for God, love for others.    So simple, so hard, Grace is so needed!!   And that’s Jesus’s message— “You all need Grace.  You all need Me.  You all need a Savior.  You all need The Spirit to lead and guide you.  I know what you need.  Just come to Me, and I will give you what you need.  You don’t have to do this on your own!!

If that isn’t something to Be Encouraged About—I don’t know what is!! 

So Be Encouraged!!