Category: crisis

Eternal Love

Published on by katiesencouragementforyou6 Comments

I was in the hospital last week, for five days.  And–I had a blast.  I chatted with the nurses and the staff, finding out their stories, laughing and laughing with them.  It was a rare social occasion for me.  

On the other hand, my family has been very anxious over my health–we’ve had to face my mortality.  My daughters cried, my husband was tight faced, my boys were tender.

You see, once death has visited your family, you know–it can visit again.  You always know that–but last week was a slap in the face reminder of that.

I have found myself thinking of the words of the Apostle Paul, found in Phillipians 1: 21-25

“For to me, living means living for Christ, and dying is even better.  But if I live, I can do even more fruitful work for Christ, So I really don’t know which is better.  I am torn between two desires: I long to go to be with Christ, which would be even better for me.    But for your sakes, it is better that I continue to live.  Knowing this, I am convinced that I will remain alive, so I can continue to help all of you grow and experience the joy of your faith.”

I started out the week, wondering if I was going to die, and being actually kind of excited about it–about going to be with Jesus.  But as the week progressed, and I came face to face with the pain my death would inflict upon my family–  I found myself having conversations with the Lord like this,  “Lord, I would like to go home to be with You, but I think it would be better for my family if I stayed, however, You know best–You can see the future, I can’t, so Your will be done.”

As of now–His will is that I live, and stay to be with my family–but I wanted to share with you why I am so sure that I am going to go and be with the Lord when I die.  

I am sure because my eternal life does not depend on me–and how good I am–my eternal life depends on Jesus–and how good He is.  

“He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.”   2 Corinthiians 5:21

What does that mean?  It means in Jesus–an exchange was made—when Jesus died He took my sin and your sin and everyone’s sin, (He could do this because He was God in Human flesh–so with His one death, He could take all our sins upon HImself),  and in exchange He gave us His righteousness.  So now God sees all who are in Christ as righteous.  Isn’t that amazing–God sees us as righteous–because He gave us His righteousness.

“And the testimony is this, God has given us eternal life, and this life is in His Son.  He who has the Son has eternal life, he who does not have the Son, does not have eternal life.  I have written to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may KNOW that you Have eternal life.” 1 John 5:11-13

“This is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God and Jesus Christ, whom You have sent.”  John 17:3

When I first read and studied these scriptures–things started to click for me.  First–God has given—that is in the past tense—God has already given us eternal life–because when we trusted Jesus to be our Savior–we began a relationship with God the Father, and with Jesus, God’s Son–and that is what eternal life is–it is a relationship with God—that goes on past this life into eternity.

Then I read the reason why this scripture was written—so that we would KNOW we have eternal life—not hope, not dream of, not work for—we may KNOW it!!

God wants us to know that He loves us, and nothing—not even death will separate us from the love He has for us.  He wants us to know that He has redeemed us.  He has bought us with a great price–the price of Jesus’ death—so that we may have life with Him eternally.  I use the word, “may have”, because we each individually need to receive this gift from God.  We receive this gift by faith, but prayer is a way to express that faith.  I think I said something like this to God:  “Lord Jesus I need You.  Thank You for dying on the cross for my sins.  Please come into my life and make me the person You want me to be.  Thank You for giving me a relationship with you–thank You for giving me eternal life.”

Jesus tells us in Hebrews 13:5  “….I will never leave you nor forsake you.”   So once Jesus enters our life, He will never leave, and Jesus doesn’t lie.

Our God loves us with an everlasting love!!!   How can we not be excited about being with this God face to face!!  I know that someday, we will all die, but death can be something we don’t have to fear, in fact it can be something we eagerly anticipate–as Jesus awaits us!!   However, we each have a purpose here in this world–and for now–I hope that purpose of loving others and pointing the way to Jesus will bring us all joy here on this earth.

May We Be Encouraged!!

My Ode To Michelle Beckman

Published on by katiesencouragementforyou12 Comments

Six years ago, a dear friend of mine died and I wrote a piece in her honor, called, “ My Ode To Michelle Beckman.”  I would like to share that piece with you, but before I do, I want to tell you that I learned something about suffering from Michelle.  I learned that many times– people who are suffering, can enter into others’ suffering and help them.  When our son died, I allowed Michelle to enter into my suffering, because she had cancer, and she was suffering herself.  I knew she understood suffering.

I have also found that because of my suffering, others would share their stories of suffering with me.  They trusted me, they took off their masks and let me see their suffering.

Scripture talks about that if one of us in the body is hurting, others in the body share in that suffering, (I Cor. 12:26).  Honestly, before the death of my son, I have tried to avoid suffering, and so avoided sharing in the suffering of others.

The times where God has allowed me to join in another’s suffering, have been times where I was most aware of God’s presence, love and strength.  I know that these are actually great gifts from God, and have revealed the Lord more fully in my eyes.  Michelle was one of the people God used to teach me these things.  So without further ado: 

My Ode to Michelle Beckman

August 11, 2016

Dear Family & Friends,

     My friend Michelle Beckman stepped into eternity yesterday.  She walked past that line that has many of us wondering what she found.  I’ve read the posts on her wall, each one was a testimony to her love for God and love for others.  They were each an encouragement to me, as I face the future without her friendship.   

      I met Michelle in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.  She was finishing up her degree in teaching at Marquette University.  She became a christian her freshman year in college when another college student named Mary Kay shared with her how she could have a relationship with God.   Michelle never got over the wonder that the Creator of the Universe wanted  her so much that He left all the glory of heaven, took on the limits of human flesh, suffered and died for her.   Her God was an intensely personal, loving, consuming God.  

      Michelle got involved with Cru, and was discipled by Margaret Yu for two years.  When Margaret left Milwaukee, I came as the Cru staff woman, and I met Michelle.

      Michelle and I had one semester  together before she left to do her student teaching.  Honestly, when we reconnected 3 years ago, I had very vague memories of her.  I knew that I knew her—but I didn’t remember many of the details.

      She told me that I had a sleepover party where we stayed up all night talking, and she told me the story of her relationship with her Dad.  I looked at her and asked, “Have you forgiven him?”  She said this question sent her on a 10 year journey of asking herself that same question?  (I am now a parent of adult children—and believe me when I say—one could be the very best parent one could be, and there would be a need for a child to forgive a parent, just as there is a need for a parent to forgive a child.)

       When we reconnected, Michelle told me about her cancer.  I had lost a very good friend to cancer before this—my best friend in fact—and it was agony for me.  My heart was broken, my grief overwhelming.  I had also lost my dad.  I knew what it was to grieve—and I wasn’t so sure I wanted to get all that close to Michelle.  She would be hard to resist..  She asked great questions, she listened, she cared, she laughed, she had depth and spiritual discernment.  What more could you ask for from a friend?

       Two weeks after we reconnected, my son Sean was killed when he was out on a training bike ride.  He was hit by a car.

       Michelle ran to help me.  She entered into my suffering.  I don’t know how else to describe what she did.  She sent me a book that she heard about on a radio show.  She said the Holy Spirit told her to send me this book.  It was called, LAMENT FOR A SON,… It was a father’s journal that he wrote after losing his son in a mountain climbing accident.  One of the things that he said that resonated with me was, “If someone is worth loving than they are worth grieving.”

       She sent me a CD of worship songs.  We wrote back and forth to each other on a consistent basis.   

      She suffered with me.  I do not know how else to describe it.  She wasn’t afraid of suffering.  She did not avoid the pain.   

       This is quite amazing to me because I would have avoided the pain of her suffering, if not for my own.  And honestly, if she had not been suffering, I would not have let her enter into mine.  Other friends had tried to enter into my suffering, and share this pain, but my walls were high, my barriers strong.

       When scripture talks about sharing in Jesus’ suffering for the sake of His church, I think I finally know what that means.  I have experienced Michelle sharing in my suffering, and these last months of her life, I have been privileged to enter into her suffering.    

       One of Michelle’s greatest prayers, is that God’s people would be fully surrendered to our Lord.  I know that fear is what keeps me from surrendering.  Fear of pain, fear of suffering.   “When you face the thing you’ve always feared, you learn you have nothing to fear, for God is with you through it all.”  This is a direct quote of my friend, Becky Crain, when she found out she had stage 4 breast cancer when she was 5 months pregnant.  She entered into eternity when her baby was 4 months old.

    All my life I have tried to escape from pain and suffering.  God has used Michelle to show me how to face it, even embrace it.  Knowing her has helped me grieve for my son, and all the other losses in my life;  and oddly, it will even help me as I grieve for her.  Also, I have finally experienced the truth of what Becky was trying to tell me all those years ago.  “When you face the thing you’ve always feared, you learn you have nothing to fear, for God is with you through it all.”

May We Be Encouraged

Focus and Breathe

Published on by katiesencouragementforyou2 Comments

When I was pregnant with my first child, I went to a Lamaze class, and one of the things the nurse taught us, was to have something to focus on, during one’s contractions.   I chose a verse–Hebrews 12: 1,2.   Was that helpful?  Yes, it was really, really helpful.  The class also taught us not to give in to the fear of the unknown, but to breathe and focus throughout labor.  Was this helpful–yes, it was really, really helpful.  (In fact after our first child was born, my husband turned to me and said, “That wasn’t as bad, as I thought it was going to be.”)

What is the point of this story?   Right now, many people are feeling very, very anxious.  We just came through a pandemic, with shut downs and quarantines.  We have seen gas prices more than double in the past year.  We are seeing food prices rise, and are being told that we could see massive inflation by the fall.   There is good reason to be anxious.

So what can we do—we can focus our thoughts, and we can breathe.   Why?  Because it really, really helps.

We can focus our thoughts on the truth.

Lately, I’ve been focusing on one truth in particular:

2Co 5:17

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.

What does this mean?  In Romans Chapter 6—It spells out what this means—I am going to paraphrase it for you—it says that when Jesus died on the cross–our sin natures were crucified with Him.  So our sin natures are dead, and we are new creatures in God’s eyes.  He sees us as His children, without sin before Him.

Now–we don’t ‘feel’ without sin, we in fact still give in the temptation to sin.  But God says–sin actually has no power over us–anymore–in fact–we are dead to sin, and alive to Christ.

We are to present ourselves to God, and He will give us the power to turn away from sin.  He sees us as a new creature—the old creature is dead in His eyes.  He wants me and He wants you to see ourselves in this way too.  

The new creature wants to obey Him.  The new creature wants to please Him.  The new creature wants to walk with Him.  The new creature loves God and loves others.  The new creature forgives.  The new creature gives grace and kindness to others.

So—when I am aware that I am acting like the old person that has passed away, I say to myself, “That is not me.  That is not who God has made me to be.  I am a new creature.  This old person is dead, and has no power over the new creature.  I surrender to you Lord, so that I can live out Your truth–that I am a new creature.”

The new creature is not afraid.  The new creature is not anxious.  The new creature knows her God, and trusts in His love and provision.  

The new creature focuses on the truth, and the new creature breathes in the truth.

Will this help during these trying times?   Yes, I promise you, this will really, really help!!

May We Be Encouraged!!

Happy Birthday Sean James!!

Published on by katiesencouragementforyou12 Comments

 Our culture likes to ignore death and pretend it doesn’t happen.   People also act like the ones who have died, haven’t really existed.  They don’t say their names anymore.  They don’t tell their stories.  For those who were very, very close to the one who died–pretending they didn’t exist is not a possibility. 

June is the birthday month of our son Sean. As his parents, we can’t pretend that he did not exist.  Sean is still alive to us.  He is still real.  He is still celebrated and he is still grieved.

I write about Sean and the grief of losing him, and the joy of his life—to help others with their grief in losing their loved ones.  I also want us to know that the person(s) who passed on to eternity–can still be celebrated–their life was a gift to those who knew them and loved them.

Our family still celebrates Sean’s birthday.  We do this because Sean’s life was a gift to us from God.  When we celebrate, we are acknowledging to God that we recognize that He gave Sean to us, and we are grateful to Him.

This past week, my husband and I had lunch with a young man and his wife who are going into ministry.  This young man was friends with Sean.  He told me that he started getting more serious about his relationship with God in High School, and some of that seriousness came about because of Sean’s death.  This young man realized that life on earth is temporal, but there was another life after this one. 

When we celebrate Sean’s life—we are celebrating that there is another life after this one–that Sean is in this other life–and he is cheering us on in the race that we are all in–in this life–

Heb 12:1

Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,

Heb 12:2

fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Sean is in that great cloud of witnesses, cheering us on.  

 Our loved ones who have run their races of faith here on this earth, are part of that great cloud of witnesses, cheering us on in our races.  

They have not forgotten us, and are rooting for us here on this earth.  In remembering our departed loved ones  and celebrating their lives, we find encouragement and strength to live for eternity, to fix our eyes on Jesus–and to run with endurance our own marathons of life.

If you have ever run in a marathon, you know how grueling they can be, and how there are many times during the race, one is tempted to give up.  Sometimes a cheer from the crowd, or another runner coming beside you to say, “You can do this, I’ll run this part with you to help you through”, is the encouragement needed to finish the race. My niece had this experience, she was ready to give up, when a 72 year old woman told her to run alongside of her and my niece said that is why she was able to finish her race. 

I write, to give voice to the ones cheering us on, and to encourage us all on our races–because even if you have not run a Marathon–you and I are in the Marathon of life!!

 Happy Birthday Sean!!  We celebrate your life!!

Thank you for cheering us on!!

We Are Encouraged!!

Running to the Father

Published on by katiesencouragementforyou6 Comments

Month ago, I wrote about going through a time of being shaken.  In case you wondered—that time is still going on, and the shaking grows worse.  Sometimes I wonder if I am going to survive.  I find myself crying often.  I don’t even wear eye makeup anymore.  What is the point?  It will just get cried off.

So, what is to be done?  That’s just the thing—the circumstances are ones that I have no control over.  None.  They involve loved ones and their choices, and their illnesses.  So, I pray, I grieve, I speak truth and love into situations, hoping to comfort and encourage, and bless. I serve, I give, but I have absolutely no control. 

None whatsoever.  I know that I am facing the reality that I will lose people I love here on this earth.  I know that I am facing others ruining and wrecking their lives here on this earth.

So what is to be done?  Do I rail at God—hoping my anger, and my ire will motivate Him to move!!

Do I rail at the circumstances, hoping my anger will change the circumstances?

Do I pray, and pray, and pray, hoping my prayers will change the circumstances?  Yes—this is what I opt to do.  What I am finding, is that my prayers are not changing the circumstances—but I am changing.

I am changing from anger to acceptance.  I am changing from despair to hope.  Not hope that everything will turn out the way I want it to turn out—but hope that God will prevail over the darkness.  It is a hope that persists in spite of the circumstances.  It is a hope that is quiet and deep and stays.

It’s source is from God—so it is an immovable hope—or as Bill Sweeney, fellow blogger said, “An Unshakeable Hope.”   One of the blogs that Bill wrote, that I read this morning, is “One Day At A Time.”  Bill was diagnosed with ALS and had it for over 20 years before he passed away over a year ago.  I find the words of those who have suffered here on this earth and finished their races well—comfort me during my own suffering.   So here is the link to this blog:  https://unshakablehope.com/2013/07/29/one-day-at-a-time-2/          I hope it helps you as it did me.

May you be encouraged!!

The Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future

Published on by katiesencouragementforyou13 Comments

Every year, our family puts up our Christmas Tree.  We get out the boxes of decorations–they are in red tubs with green lids, and each ornament is nestled in its original boxes—I am bragging about this area of my organization, as it is the only area I can brag about. 🙂  We make hot cocoa, have some cookies, and decorate our tree.

I love decorating the tree.  We usually buy an ornament to commemorate a vacation we took, or a special trip we took and so decorating the tree is a walk down memory lane.  We talk about the trip or remember the people who gave us the baby ornament, or any ornament we put up on our tree. 

After Sean died, this usually wonderful tradition of decorating the tree became a tradition that led to grief.  Every ornament became a memory with his memory attached.  “Remember, we got this ornament when we took the trip to Florida and we went to Disney World?”   Then I would remember how Sean wanted to go to Florida to Disney World so badly.  There were T.V. shows on the Travel Channel highlighting the Disney Parks, and he would watch them over and over again.

“Mom, can we go to the Disney Parks?”  “Well, Sean, you can pray about anything, so you can pray that we go to the Disney Parks.”   In my mind, I didn’t know how this would ever happen, it seemed unlikely to say the least, but when Julia, my daughter told me all she wanted In the whole world was a baby sister, (she was 5 at the time), I told her the same thing—”well Julia, you can pray about anything, so pray for God to give you a baby sister.”  I was thinking we could look into adoption.  Instead I found myself pregnant at the age of 45, giving birth to a baby girl at the age of 46. 

Sure enough, shortly after my son started praying to go to the Disney Parks, my sister-in-law called my husband and she wanted to plan a family trip with our families and their parents to go to the Disney Parks.  (Their parents had a time share that we used the points from to book timeshares in Orlando, and my sister-in-law knew the websites to get the best deals on the Disney tickets—and so we found ourselves down in Florida—in the Disney Parks!!)  We had a blast!!  Sean had a blast!!

 Looking at the ornaments–led to all those memories, which led to grief, but it also led to remembering the answered prayers as well. This helped us stand in the reality that God exists, and He loves us, He listens to us, He cares for us.    

It was very difficult to continue with this tradition of decorating the tree.  We celebrated our first Christmas without Sean a mere 3 months after we lost him.  We were still in a state of shock.  My husband and I thought we needed to continue with our traditions, that the children needed these things to bring the past into our present and our future.  Even though it felt like everything had changed, some things remained the same.   God’s love remained the same.  We have found that each year, there is more of a blessing in the remembering, than grief.  It has helped to bring Sean into our present and will help bring him into our future.

 Just writing this story, I am remembering Julia praying for a baby sister, and God answered!!  God does not always answer these types of prayers—as my nieces who were only daughters will attest—but He did for Julia.  Perhaps because He knew that Julia and all of us would need this baby in the days to come, (our baby was 6 years old when her brother died.) She would bring us God’s comfort and love in her hugs and kisses and declarations that, “Sean is in heaven, and we are going to heaven too, we will see him again.”

Christmas is celebrating that God left heaven and came down to earth in the form of a baby.  “Immanuel” means “God is with us.”   In John 1: 1,14, we find this concept of : The Word is God and the Word became flesh and dwelt among us.  

In Romans 8:31, it says, “If God is for us, who is against us?”  In other words–it doesn’t matter who is against us, because God is so big and great, we are covered by Him.

Romans 8: 38, 39 also says– nothing can separate us from His love.

I am here to bear witness to these truths.  God is With Us.  God is For Us.  Nothing—not death nor life, nor any created thing can separate us from His love.   Not losing a child, or the grief that this loss brings, or any other problem in the entire world can separate us from His love.

If you are having trouble believing this, I want you to think about how much you love your children, and you are a mere human being. If you and I can love with such passion as imperfect human beings, imagine how a perfect, infinite being who considers us His children—loves us.  It is not so hard to imagine when we think of it in those terms—is it?

However, God’s thoughts are greater than my thoughts, and His ways are greater than my ways.  Sometimes, (ok—many times), I question God and what He is doing in my life.  I questioned Him many times for taking my son.  I have come to the realization that God is not upset with my questions, but sometimes His only answer is to wait on Him, and trust Him, even if I don’t know the answers, I can trust Him, I can trust His love, I can trust that He is for my family, He is for me.

You can trust that God is for you, He is for your family.  You can trust in His love.  He is “Immanuel”—God is with us—He is with us in our joy, in our grief and in our lives!!  So Be encouraged!!

That Guy

Published on by katiesencouragementforyou13 Comments

Tonight, our family watched a movie together.  It was an action-adventure movie, where against unbelievable odds, the good guy saves the day.  At some point during the movie, I turned to my husband, and said, “You’re that guy—the guy that is good in a crisis, who saves the day.”

Once, when my husband and I were out for dinner, a woman seated near us, fainted and was laying on the floor.  The waiters and waitresses ran to her aid but didn’t know what to do.  My husband is a Firefighter/EMT.  He had gone outside to grab a sweater, and when he came in, he was faced with this crisis. (I had told the waiters and waitresses that my husband would help.) He calmly went over to the woman, knelt beside her, and took her pulse.  By this time, she was awake, and he started asking her questions to assess her health history.   By the time the paramedics arrived, he calmly gave them her vitals and history and they then took her away.

It seemed to me that my husband’s presence calmed everyone down in the room, and I was filled with admiration for my husband.

Many years before, when we were standing in a lobby of a theatre with open candles around the perimeter, I saw a young woman back into the flame, and her hair caught on fire.  My husband moved like lightening — extinguishing the fire with his bare hands, saving the girl, and possibly the theatre.  He acted like it was no big deal. But it seemed like a big deal to me.

There are many men and women like my husband—they are good in a crisis, and they serve others with their skill sets all the time.

The day of our son’s accident, my husband heard his pager go off, stating that there was a motor vehicle/bike accident.  He was out of his chair like a shot, going to help.  It was our son.

At the funeral of our son, my husband spoke about the fact that the ambulance was changing shifts, and so they were only 1 minute away from the accident.  He was also struck by the fact that the paramedic instructors had just finished a class in our town, and they came to the scene of the accident.  My husband personally knew these people and thought highly of their skills.  

After our son had been airlifted to the hospital, the doctor who worked on Sean had previously been in Afghanistan as a combat surgeon.

These details meant something to my husband—these were his kind of people—people who serve others.  My husband saw the hand of God in the service of these people.  He saw God’s lovingkindness in the service of these people.  He saw God Himself, through the acts of these people.

When we were at the hospital with Sean, we were on the pediatric floor, and we were surrounded by nurses and doctors who took care of our son and showed compassion to us and to our other children.  We saw God’s lovingkindness through them.

When our country experienced 9/11—we also witnessed men and women, running into buildings while others were running out.  They ran in to save, they ran into to serve.  We saw God’s face in their faces.

It is easy to look at the bad, and dismiss God and dismiss His existence, His power and His love. 

It is not so easy to look at the good—the good in people—especially when there is a crisis—and dismiss God—dismiss His existence, His power and His love.  For what other reason do we have to act as we do—except that we bear His image.

If we as humans, can act so nobly—just think what that means about the One who made us, and loves us.

For my husband and I—all these things—all these people—combined with experiencing God’s loving presence and strength— testified to us of God’s goodness, God’s grace and God’s love. 

So the next time you see a good guy or gal working to save the day or a moment, or a child—remember the One who made them, the One Who saves us all—and thank them for bearing God’s image to you—and Thank God for making them!

Let us be encouraged!