I came across this blog–titled “My Blog Thoughts” in my files–I wrote this over 3 years ago before I started my “Blog”. I really liked it–it was a look into my heart and mind, and showed what God was putting in my heart and mind to do. It shows that there are seasons to a person’s life, and I was aware that I was entering into another season of my life. Anyway—Here is this blog–written over 3 years ago–I hope you enjoy it, and it encourages you.
I have told myself for some time that I would start writing, and today is the day, even if no one ever sees my writing, even if no one else ever cares. I have wanted to write professionally for a long time. I think I may have a gift for writing. Many times, I write, and I wonder where the words came from—it’s as if they spring from my fingers to the page, my heart, not my head bringing them forth.
And I feel the same kind of awe that I experience when I hear a lovely song, or see a poignant picture. I think artistic gifts awe me because I don’t intellectually understand them. I don’t know how someone can compose a song, or paint a picture, or write a book. (I can play the piano, but I can not compose). I can draw a picture, but there is a big difference between my drawings and Leonardo de Vinci. 🙂
When we see or hear or read a master’s creation, there is a sense that we are seeing or hearing, or reading the work of God. That the divine has reached down and touched us through this master.
(Now I am not claiming at all that I am a Master, far from it, but I do think that there is something spiritual about writing for me. Because it is so clearly a gift—it would be as foolish for me to take credit for my writing, as it would to take credit for my blue eyes.) However, there is also an element of work about writing—about practice—and having a voice and opinions and expressing them through writing.
That work of writing is what I need to see if I can do. The day to day, I am going to write, I am going to practice, I am going to take one more step to the goal of becoming a professional writer.
I have been busy in the season of raising children, I’m still busy in that season, but that season will be coming to end before I know it, and the same voice that speaks through my fingers is also telling me to start a new season for my life—the season of being a writer.
So the big question—what do I write about? What does this voice want me to express? That too is easy—my life has been wrapped up into my children, and my husband, and I want to tell of what I’ve learned. I want to tell you the value of letting my life be wrapped up in my family. Not because my children are perfect, or are navigating life as God would want them to, nor because my marriage is perfect and we are living a fairy tale ending.
No—because in spite of the results, (thus far), my family has been worth my life. That is the bottom line—my family has been worth my life. Just as God has deemed that I was worth dying for, and that you were worth dying for, my family has been worth my daily, sometimes moment by moment death to myself, as I have placed them over myself on a day by day basis. (Have I done this perfectly? No In fact, if you talked to each of my children and husband, they could tell you, (if they were being honest), of all the ways I have failed to love them the way they wanted to be loved.
However, Love is not giving in to my child’s every whim. Love is not being a doormat. Love is not doing all the work in the home. Love is not any of those things—it is about doing what is best for the other person—for their future character and development, for their ability to be prepared for their future life. Therefore, my child may perceive that my actual loving act of requiring them to help with the dishes—to be an unloving act. That’s ok. As my mother used to say, “Someday, I’m going to have to stand before God and give an accounting for how I raised you.” (I used to hate it when she said that, but that is true—I have to answer to God, and my child is not my God )
There ends the thoughts from this blog–I think it is interesting that I said, God was moving me into the season of being a writer—because I now realize that when one becomes a parent, that parenting role will continue as long as I and my child are both alive. However, it will change, and there will be an ability to do other things that before–because we chose to homeschool, I was not able to do.
I am also well aware, that people will be tempted to look at my decisions about staying home with my children and homeschooling and think I am advocating these decisions for them. I am not–I am advocating that we all listen to God, step out in faith, and obey Him. It will look differently for each of us, according to the gifts, and faith God has given each of us.
Our God knows we are but dust, here today and gone tomorrow–and He has compassion on all us poor souls who take one step at a time, one day at a time–fumbling and making mistakes. Our God holds our hands, and He will not let us be hurled headlong on our path, but will keep picking us up. We have a good, good God who loves us beyond what we can think or imagine. He will not leave us alone in this calling of parenting, or whatever calling He has for us. He will never leave us or forsake us. So Be Encouraged!!