parenting – Encouragement for you!!

I came across this blog–titled “My Blog Thoughts” in my files–I wrote this over 3 years ago before I started my “Blog”. I really liked it–it was a look into my heart and mind, and showed what God was putting in my heart and mind to do. It shows that there are seasons to a person’s life, and I was aware that I was entering into another season of my life. Anyway—Here is this blog–written over 3 years ago–I hope you enjoy it, and it encourages you.

I have told myself for some time that I would start writing, and today is the day, even if no one ever sees my writing, even if no one else ever cares. I have wanted to write professionally for a long time. I think I may have a gift for writing. Many times, I write, and I wonder where the words came from—it’s as if they spring from my fingers to the page, my heart, not my head bringing them forth.

And I feel the same kind of awe that I experience when I hear a lovely song, or see a poignant picture. I think artistic gifts awe me because I don’t intellectually understand them. I don’t know how someone can compose a song, or paint a picture, or write a book. (I can play the piano, but I can not compose). I can draw a picture, but there is a big difference between my drawings and Leonardo de Vinci. 🙂

When we see or hear or read a master’s creation, there is a sense that we are seeing or hearing, or reading the work of God. That the divine has reached down and touched us through this master.

(Now I am not claiming at all that I am a Master, far from it, but I do think that there is something spiritual about writing for me. Because it is so clearly a gift—it would be as foolish for me to take credit for my writing, as it would to take credit for my blue eyes.) However, there is also an element of work about writing—about practice—and having a voice and opinions and expressing them through writing.

That work of writing is what I need to see if I can do. The day to day, I am going to write, I am going to practice, I am going to take one more step to the goal of becoming a professional writer.

I have been busy in the season of raising children, I’m still busy in that season, but that season will be coming to end before I know it, and the same voice that speaks through my fingers is also telling me to start a new season for my life—the season of being a writer.

So the big question—what do I write about? What does this voice want me to express? That too is easy—my life has been wrapped up into my children, and my husband, and I want to tell of what I’ve learned. I want to tell you the value of letting my life be wrapped up in my family. Not because my children are perfect, or are navigating life as God would want them to, nor because my marriage is perfect and we are living a fairy tale ending.

No—because in spite of the results, (thus far), my family has been worth my life. That is the bottom line—my family has been worth my life. Just as God has deemed that I was worth dying for, and that you were worth dying for, my family has been worth my daily, sometimes moment by moment death to myself, as I have placed them over myself on a day by day basis. (Have I done this perfectly? No In fact, if you talked to each of my children and husband, they could tell you, (if they were being honest), of all the ways I have failed to love them the way they wanted to be loved.

However, Love is not giving in to my child’s every whim. Love is not being a doormat. Love is not doing all the work in the home. Love is not any of those things—it is about doing what is best for the other person—for their future character and development, for their ability to be prepared for their future life. Therefore, my child may perceive that my actual loving act of requiring them to help with the dishes—to be an unloving act. That’s ok. As my mother used to say, “Someday, I’m going to have to stand before God and give an accounting for how I raised you.” (I used to hate it when she said that, but that is true—I have to answer to God, and my child is not my God )

There ends the thoughts from this blog–I think it is interesting that I said, God was moving me into the season of being a writer—because I now realize that when one becomes a parent, that parenting role will continue as long as I and my child are both alive. However, it will change, and there will be an ability to do other things that before–because we chose to homeschool, I was not able to do.

I am also well aware, that people will be tempted to look at my decisions about staying home with my children and homeschooling and think I am advocating these decisions for them. I am not–I am advocating that we all listen to God, step out in faith, and obey Him. It will look differently for each of us, according to the gifts, and faith God has given each of us.

Our God knows we are but dust, here today and gone tomorrow–and He has compassion on all us poor souls who take one step at a time, one day at a time–fumbling and making mistakes. Our God holds our hands, and He will not let us be hurled headlong on our path, but will keep picking us up. We have a good, good God who loves us beyond what we can think or imagine. He will not leave us alone in this calling of parenting, or whatever calling He has for us. He will never leave us or forsake us. So Be Encouraged!!

Love and Forgiveness—they go hand in hand. In fact, it is difficult if not impossible to have one without the other. Let me explain—as a parent—I have forgiven my children over and over again—and they have most assuredly forgiven me. Why? Because we love each other. In fact, while I find it difficult to forgive almost everyone else in my life, it is not that difficult to forgive my children.

Why is that? Dare I say that is because God has given me a great, great love for them—so that I will care for them, sacrifice for them, and put their needs above my own. I think if the situation called for it—I would die for them. I think most parents would say the same thing.

Why? Because this is how God has designed us. He has given us this parent-child relationship so that we can understand the greatness of His love for us and the greatness of His forgiveness towards us.

Well—what if one is not a parent? I was not a parent for the first 31 years of my life. Yet, I had parents. I saw the sacrifices they made for me and my siblings. I saw the many, many acts of love—and I saw all the ways love could be expressed—words of encouragement, acts of service, gifts, touch, and quality time spent with each other.

I’d like to give you an example of each of these things my parents did for me and my siblings. My mom would praise and encourage me often. She would notice things that I did and praise my efforts—even if it was as simple as cleaning out the sink.

My Dad showed his love in acts of service. He would scour pans, vacuum around the house, set up tents when we were camping with great care, chop up wood for our wood burning furnace—and do a myriad of other tasks all to take care of us, and make life easier for us.

My mom was in charge of gifts and gift giving. While my Dad’s salary provided for all our needs, my mom’s salary went to the luxuries of life—gifts, vacations, etc. My mom would shop for Christmas with great care, and then both of my parents would wrap the gifts together. Together they made Christmas time one of the most magical times of the year.

Both of my parents would hug us. However, after my dad had his stroke—hugs and touch were one of the few ways he had to communicate his love, as he lost his ability to speak—and so that was how he would show us he loved us. My Dad lived for 5 years without speech, until God took him home. (Tears come to my eyes at the thought of this.)

Quality time was spent with my parents every day. We ate supper together as a family, every night. We often laughed together, and told stories of our day around that old farmhouse table that my Dad had lovingly restored. Our family took a vacation every year together. We went camping and swimming and canoeing. We took a big trip to California and went to Disney Land and Knot’s Berry Farm. We went to New Orleans. We went to Virginia Beach. We had fun together, and we still tell stories of the times we spent with each other—(and let’s be honest—the fights we also had during these times.)

When I was a teenager, and wanted to be on the track team, my Dad ran with me to help train me and get me in shape. He spent quality time with me, and he would tell me his stories and tell me what a great runner I was and was going to be. (Which was total love on my Dad’s part—as I was not that good. 🙂 My Dad however was a great runner. )

I know that you could tell me your stories of how your parents showed you, they loved you. Maybe you can’t—maybe your parents were not good. Even if that is the case—we have a Father who is very, very good. This Father’s love is perfect for you and for me. He demonstrated that love by sending His Son to live and die for you and me. Take it from someone who has lost a son—you don’t give a son or a daughter up—unless there is no other way to rescue others that you deeply love.

For instance, my cousin had leukemia, and her brother had an operation to donate his bone marrow to help his sister. This was an act born from love and desperation—to take a risk with one child, for the sake of another child. We have seen this risk taken when people donate a kidney or another organ they have two of—to save someone they love.

There was no other way to rescue us from Satan and from sin, but to send Jesus. “But God demonstrated His own love for us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” That is why scripture tells us that Jesus is the only way to God—because there was no other way to free us, but through the sacrifice of Jesus’ death.

Our God is a good, good Father—That’s who He is. He loves us, absolutely, completely, sacrificially.

So let us be encouraged!!

Category: parenting

My Blog Thoughts

The Good Parents