Tag: grace

Embracing Joy!

Published on by katiesencouragementforyou2 Comments

Today, I thought, “I think I’ll call Marilyn today.”, and then as soon as I thought about it, I realized, “I can’t call Marilyn, she’s gone.”

Marilyn is my mother-in-law.  I say “is” because although she has passed on to the next life, she is still living, and we are still connected through her son.

Marilyn passed in the summer of 2020, at the age of 90.

April is Marilyn’s birthday month, so I find my thoughts going to her during this month.  I find myself wishing I could pick up the phone and call her.

She used to tell me stories about my husband, times when he was a baby, a toddler, a young child, a young man, times when I had not yet met or known my husband.   She was so proud of her son, she was so proud of her children.

My husband swam competitively in High School and College.  He was offered a full scholarship to Boston University to swim.  My mother-in-law did not think it was a good enough school for him so she had him turn it down.  She told me, this was a great regret of hers—as my husband went out of state to college, and he never returned.

She thought if he would have gone to college in Boston–he might never have left Massachusetts.

She loved her son and her grandchildren so much–she hated to be apart from them.

I used to tell her that if he had not left MA, he would not have met me, and she might not have any grandchildren.

She would then say, “That’s true, I never imagined him getting married at all.”

It’s funny the things we look back on and regret, and wish we had done it differently–things that in reality made us who we are.  Things that we learned from—some things we learned from to never to go that way again, and some things we reaped the benefits of those choices.

I’ve been learning about forgiving myself and others, and receiving God’s forgiveness.  Part of forgiving myself and others is realizing that my brokenness, my regrets, my scars—they brought me to Jesus in the first place for that forgiveness.  Jesus was broken, was scarred, was crucified for me and for you.

Jesus died for this forgiveness to be possible.  I have determined not to take this great sacrifice of His for granted.   I will ask for forgiveness from God, from others and from myself, and I will extend forgiveness to others and to myself.  

This is a time of new beginnings.  This is a time of hope and forgiveness.  This is Spring.  This is why we celebrated Easter.  This is Joy!!

May We be Encouraged!!

The Fixer

Published on by katiesencouragementforyou8 Comments

One of the hardest things about living on this earth is seeing the ones I love in pain, and suffering.

I want to fix it and make it all better for them.

When my children were young, it seemed that I could “fix” things for them. I could, “kiss” the boo-boo, I could nurse them back to health, I could plan an excursion for them, to cheer them up.

Not only can I not “fix” things for others, but I also cannot “fix” things for myself.

The following song has been speaking greatly to me these days, and I thought I would share the lyrics with you all.  These are the words that are really resonating with me:  There’s freedom in surrender.  Lay it down and let it go.

I love that contrast of words—freedom and surrender.  I want freedom—freedom from the trials and tribulations of life—from the problems of life—-I think most people want freedom.   However, the path to freedom is surrender.  It involves surrendering myself to God—I’m fine with giving Him, my problems—and surrendering those to Him—I’m not so good with surrendering myself to Him.  That is a spiritual battle—and involves fighting several lies.

These are the two biggest lies I fight:  God doesn’t really love me—-(I look at all the bad things that have happened in my life to confirm this lie.)  Therefore—I can’t really trust Him with my life.

The lyrics-–If your eyes are on the storm, you’ll wonder if I love you still, but if your eyes are on the cross, you’ll know I always have and I always will—–mean so much to me—because they help me to focus on the proof of God’s love for me.

“For God demonstrated His own love for us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”

  God is perfectly just, and perfectly loving—all these things are found in the cross of Jesus.

He satisfied His justice– by Jesus dying to pay the penalty for each of our sins.   He satisfied the love He has for us—by Jesus dying to pay the penalty for each of our sins.  

When I start doubting God’s love for me, because of the storms of my life—I can fight those doubts by remembering the cross—God’s proof of His love for me.

So, enjoy this song—and be encouraged—for God loves us—He always has, and He always will!!

Just Be Held

Lyrics: Hold it all together

 Everybody needs you strong

 But life hits you out of nowhere

 And barely leaves you holding on

 And when you’re tired of fighting

Chained by your control

There’s freedom in surrender

 Lay it down and let it go

So when you’re on your knees and answers seem so far away

 You’re not alone, stop holding on and just be held

 Your world’s not falling apart, it’s falling into place

 I’m on the throne, stop holding on and just be held

 Just be held, just be held

 If your eyes are on the storm You’ll wonder if I love you still

 But if your eyes are on the cross You’ll know I always have and I always will

And not a tear is wasted

 In time, you’ll understand

 I’m painting beauty with the ashes

Your life is in My hands

 Lift your hands, lift your eyes

 In the storm is where you’ll find Me

 And where you are, I’ll hold your heart

 I’ll hold your heart

 Come to Me, find your rest In the arms of the God who won’t let go.

My Perfect Day

Published on by katiesencouragementforyou6 Comments

When I was in High School, I ran track.  I ran the 400, which is a long-distance sprint.   In the first few races I ran, I would start out running as fast as I could, and quickly run out of steam.  It felt like my heart was going to pump out of my chest, and I was all out of breath.  In fact, sometimes, I was tempted to not finish the race at all.

Scripture tells us that living this life is like running a race.  I think that is a great visual picture.   Quite frankly, right now, I feel the same way I felt when I was in High School, like this race has taken everything I have and more, and I want to quit.

But, today—today I remembered my perfect day.  When I remembered it—I felt hope, and I thought—no—I am not going to quit.   I thought I would tell you all about my perfect day—so perhaps if you need encouragement in running your race, it might help you too.

My perfect day, was the day of my son’s wedding.   Let me tell you about this day.   My oldest son got married a little more than 2 months before my third son was killed.

The day of my son’s wedding arrived.  It was a beautiful day—it was warm and breezy, there were a few fluffy clouds in the sky.   The venue was breathtaking, with a view of water, and green, green flowing lawns.  The bridesmaids were dressed in aqua.  Our daughter-in-law was one of the most gorgeous brides, I have ever seen.  The music was so lovely, and meaningful and added to the emotions of the day.

This song was played during the wedding ceremony!!

There were candles and flowers, and exquisite food, and fairy-tale cakes.   All our children participated in the day as groomsmen, a bridesmaid and a flower girl. 

But the thing that made the day so, so amazing, was an answer to a prayer, I prayed.  I asked Jesus to be a guest at the wedding.   Jesus so clearly answered this prayer.

How do I know?  First, I experienced Jesus’ presence at the wedding.   There was this joy and laughter at the wedding—like I have never experienced before or since.  I was not the only person to sense this joy and laughter.  In fact, many, many of my friends and family told me at the wedding and after the wedding, that they had never enjoyed themselves at any wedding, quite as much as they did at this wedding.

I had only ½ glass of wine to toast the newly married couple at the wedding, and yet, many asked me if I might have had a bit too much bubbly to drink, as my behavior was overflowing with laughter and joy.

Yes—Jesus came to this wedding, and His presence was felt by so many—even though they did know why they were so unexplainably delighted.

When I think about how Jesus answered that prayer—I wonder if He wanted me to know how happy my child would be with Him—because He was giving me a taste of that happiness.  Perhaps, He wanted me to know, that although I am now waiting for Him to answer many, many prayers—that He does hear my prayers, and He has answered my prayers, and He will answer my prayers, someday—even if someday is a long, long time away.

Perhaps, you too, are waiting for your prayers to be answered, and you want to give up on your race in life.  May I encourage you with these words from scripture—

Hebrews 12: 1 and 2

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us

We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne.

Think of all the hostility he endured from sinful people; then you won’t become weary and give up.

Have you ever wondered what was the joy awaiting Jesus? I think I know.  We—the bride of Christ—are the joy awaiting Him.  He died to save us and make us His Own.

I think weddings are so special to Him, because they represent the wedding that is to come for us all.    And I must tell you—the joy we will all experience at that wedding will surpass all the joy that we all have ever experienced here on this earth.

He will wipe every tear from our eyes, and there will be no more pain, and we will have His presence and His love and His JOY!!

So, please, please, be encouraged with me!!!

The Gift of Hind Sight

Published on by katiesencouragementforyouLeave a comment

Do you ever look back, and see the hand of God in your life, taking care of you, providing opportunities, guiding you and directing your path?   I call this the gift of hindsight.

 When I look back it is so clear to me, how God took care of us, but when I was living that moment, it wasn’t clear at all.  I think one of the reasons for this, is that I have my plan, and when that plan gets derailed, I feel frustration, disappointment and sometimes despair.

I’d like to share with you some of the ways God provided for us, to encourage you.  God is the same, yesterday, today and tomorrow– (Hebrews 13:8).  He can be counted on.  We, however, are all different from one another.  The Bible calls us the Body of Christ. (Romans 12:4,5:  Just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, so it is with Christ’s body, we are many parts of one body, and we all belong to one another.)  In other words –We have different purposes because we make up different parts of the “Body of Christ.”  So, when I share my story, please look at what God is doing and what is true about Him.  I hope you don’t compare yourself to me or judge me—as we were made differently, for different purposes.  We are both needed, we are both necessary, we are both loved, but I may be the mouth of the body, and you may be the eye.  Would you really want to live without either one?

So, here goes—When my husband and I were young parents, God was leading us to do something we thought rather drastic.  He was leading us to trust Him for our finances, and for me to stay home with our children.  We had both graduated from college.  We had careers, yet we were going to live off one income and I was going to be the one to stay home.

 My husband really wanted to start his own Construction Company, but he didn’t think he had enough experience, so, he took a job as a Resident Hall Director at a University, (which included housing and food–making it easy for me to stay at home with our child), so that he could get another degree, making him more marketable in the professional world.  Then a year into the job, the University closed two of its dorms and my husband lost his job.  At the time, we were devastated.  We had our plan– and that plan was changed.

My husband was offered a job by a local construction company.  He was offered $6 an hour, which was a little more than minimum wage at the time.  When we prayed and asked God about what we should do, it seemed clear that this was the way God wanted us to pursue my husband’s dream of having a construction company.

We didn’t know how we were going to live on the wages, my husband would be making.  Yet God was clearly asking us to trust Him and depend on Him.  He was asking us to walk by faith.   So—we did.  It felt a bit like free falling, but as we walked with God, it became clear why He was the rock– the foundation, we could stand on.  (Matthew 7:24-27)

 Our first concern was housing—where could we afford to live?  Well, the people my husband worked for had several rentals, and they were willing to rent to us.  The apartment was a bit expensive for our current salary, but for apartments in the area, it was very reasonable, I think we paid $440 dollars a month.

Our second concern was food—we had a very small budget—I think it was $30 a week for groceries, (this was 26 years ago—but that was still low at the time.)  I learned to use 1 chicken to make three different meals—roast chicken, chicken pot pie, and chicken soup.  I made everything from scratch, because it was less expensive.  I would make up a menu for the week, write down my grocery list, and estimate how much everything was going to cost.  I would go to the store, and time and time again, the things on my list were on sale that week.  Coincidence—I don’t think so—I think that was God’s graciousness to us.

 Our third concern was clothing.  We didn’t really buy new clothes at this time, we used what we had, later however, when money wasn’t quite so tight, we would shop at discount stores, second-hand stores, and garage sales.  Our family would give us gifts of clothes and family and friends would give us hand-me-downs.   We weren’t and aren’t too proud to accept hand me downs, and we gave and give away a lot of hand-me-downs too.  God has used these support systems to help meet our needs many times, and hopefully has used us to meet others’ needs as well. 

One of the biggest gifts from God at this time of our lives was a house we could afford to own ourselves.  We had been renting since we were married, and we really wanted to have our own home.  My husband had been taking side jobs outside of his regular construction job, and we saved this money to make a down payment on a house.  However, we knew it would take an act of God to bring us a house that we could afford to live in.

Then a friend of mine told me about a house that had been given to our church.  It was over a hundred years old, and it needed everything—roof, furnace, electrical and plumbing.  It had layers and layers of wallpaper on the walls.  It had great bones: beautiful hard wood floors, 11-foot ceilings, deep base boards—truly a diamond in the rough. 

This house became our first home.  We could afford this house; we bought it for $27,000!!  It was less expensive to live in this home than it was to rent.  We had enough for the down payment and enough to reroof the house!   My husband traded labor with a plumber and electrician, so we paid nothing out of pocket for our house to be replumbed and for a new electrical service.

Then we bought a furnace for $50!!  My husband was putting a new addition on a house, and the house needed a new furnace for the extra square footage, so the owner sold us their older furnace for $50.

These are just a few ways that God graciously provided for us and blessed us!!   Within three years of my husband taking the job in construction, we started our own construction company.  We have been in business for 24 years!!

 I am glad that when I look at the past, I see God leading us, and I see us following God.  Sometimes I see us following grumbling and complaining.  Sometimes I see us following, in great pain, but still following. Sometimes, I see our disobedience and rebellion—when we thought we knew better than God did and went our own way.   Many times, I see God carrying us, because we had no strength.

I am grateful for the gift of Hindsight, that allows me to see God’s will being played out in our lives.  God tells us to look back and remember His works and His acts, (1 Chronicles 6:12),  so when we are faced with faith hurdles in the present, we remember how He helped us jump those hurdles in the past and trust Him in the present as well.

 I hope that in sharing our stories, it will encourage you in your own walk of faith, to look back at how God was faithful to lead you and provide for you, so that you can continue to follow Him in your life today.

So Be Encouraged!!

Grief

Published on by katiesencouragementforyou13 Comments

We are approaching the anniversary of my son’s passing.  My son Sean died 8 years ago.  His accident was on September 16th, and he was declared dead on September 17, 2013.

I want to talk about a difficult subject—the subject of coming along side someone in grief.

When Sean died, others sought to come along side of us and help us—and there was a great outpouring of service and love and help.

But there was also silence from those we “expected” help from.  My mom told me a story, that helped me understand.  You see, my mom’s sister lost 2 of her children and her husband within a 6-month space of time.  My mom said that at times she was so overwhelmed in her own grief that it was hard to help her sister in her grief.  She did help her sister—but it wasn’t easy.

This has helped me to understand that I and my husband and children weren’t the only ones who were grieving when Sean died.  Others needed grace in their grieving as well. They may have been grieving Sean or they may have been grieving something else going on in their own lives.

Also, I came to realize that no one—not my husband, not my other children, not my extended family, no friend—could ever meet my deepest needs—only God could do that.  

That is not to say that others do not have a role to play in helping others who are grieving.

Right now, there is a family who has lost their dad.  Another friend and I have been trying to organize others to help them.  This friend frequently tells me with great passion: “We are apart of the body of Christ, we are His hands and His feet, and God wants us to move and help others.”

She is absolutely right. 

My mom and my Aunt, (who lost her family members), came most frequently to help with–well everything. Other family members also came to help.

After Sean died, a neighbor down the street from us, a sister in Christ, organized meals for us for 2 months—and people from all the churches in my town signed up to bring us a meal.

People came right after Sean died and cleaned our house.

A couple friend, (in the Pastorate), meet with us for over a year, once a week, and provided grief counseling, and friendship.

My best friends took my children on excursions and spent time with me.

All amazing things.

I also experienced rejection, conflicts, loss of friendship, and silence from others.

In reading others’ blogs—the good, the bad and the ugly are all typical and normal things to experience to those who have lost a loved one.

Grief—suffering—these are difficult, difficult things.  Grace, kindness and gentleness with oneself and with others are needed during these times.  Mostly, and above all else—God’s sustaining spirit is what is needed and is available to each of us, for the asking.

One of the worst things for my spirit, was to hang onto bitterness and unforgiveness.  God has frequently pried my hands off these ugly things I was hanging onto and told me with grace and gentleness that He had something better for me to hang onto—Him!! 

In saying this—I do not want to minimize the hurt that is felt by the grieving party, over the lack of caring they may be experiencing.  I understand the hurt.  I too, have felt the hurt.

Rather, I want to give a way for the hurt party to understand that they are not alone—others have walked the same path and have found freedom from the hurt in forgiveness and in the presence of God.

If you are grieving right now, I am praying for you!!  I would appreciate your prayers for my family and myself.  Thank you!

Wedded Bliss?

Published on by katiesencouragementforyou11 Comments

This is a picture of my husband and I after we had been married for 2 weeks.  Don’t we look young and lovely? We were at a party being held in our honor by my husband’s parents. I must tell you that when this picture was being taken, I was wondering if I had made a mistake.  I was angry with my husband, and he was probably angry with me.   Why do I share this story?

To give hope, to give encouragement, to give courage.  And to give voice to the lie, that everyone else’s lives are perfect, everyone else is experiencing love and commitment, everyone else is happy.  This is a lie. 

My husband and I are celebrating 32 years of marriage.  Many times, we are challenged to love each other, forgive each other, and stay committed to each other.  Many times, we experience joy and fun and love in abundance.  We are human beings—and thus we are broken.

There is a song, called Broken Together by Casting Crowns, that speaks to the truth of this.

If you look under the song at the comments, you will read so many stories of hope, and encouragement, as well as so many people asking for prayer.  

These are the words to this song:

What do you think about when you look at me

 I know we’re not the fairytale you dreamed we’d be

 You wore the veil, you walked the aisle, you took my hand

 And we dove into a mystery

How I wish we could go back to simpler times

 Before all our scars and all our secrets were in the light

Now on this hallowed ground, we’ve drawn the battle lines

 Will we make it through the night

It’s going to take much more than promises this time

 Only God can change our minds

 Maybe you and I were never meant to be complete

 Could we just be broken together

If you can bring your shattered dreams and I’ll bring mine

 Could healing still be spoken and save us

 The only way we’ll last forever is broken together

 How it must have been so lonely by my side

 We were building kingdoms and chasing dreams and left love behind

I’m praying God will help our broken hearts align

 And we won’t give up the fight

Please know that we are praying for you and your marriage, and we ask for you to pray for us in our marriage.  We are a broken people, and we need God’s grace and strength to love and forgive each other.  We need God’s grace and strength to love and forgive each other!!!

May we be encouraged!!

Blooming

Published on by katiesencouragementforyou7 Comments

Blooming!!  My Rose-of-Sharon bush that I pruned last fall, is now blooming!!  When I pruned it, I knew I was doing the right thing for it, but it was still difficult to do.  I pruned it way back—so I was not sure if it would come back well.  And now it is blooming.  

The Rose of Sharon, after pruning it, last fall.
Rose -of Sharon Blooming!!

I pruned my lilac bushes as well, and they are also flourishing—they are full leaved, and abundant, whereas before their pruning their branches were straggly, and not very full.  Now they are exactly how I hoped they could be.

The white lilac tree–after blooming season but flourishing!
The deep purple lilac tree, again flourishing, but after blooming season!!

Just as I pruned my bushes for their health, and benefit, God prunes—or disciplines us—for our health and our benefit.  In Hebrews 12, it says that we discipline our children, doing the best we know how to do for them in our limited wisdom and understanding.  Our Heavenly Father disciplines us—with all knowledge, all wisdom, all gentleness and all power.  He does this for our best, to make us complete—or Holy—as He is Holy.

This past year of Covid—I have experienced God’s pruning in my life.  I did not enjoy the quarantines—(I know some people who did—they liked the slower pace of life)—I did not appreciate the shortages of supplies—I did not love wearing the masks—I did not like not having social times with family and friends—I reacted to all these situations with annoyance and anger.  

Then God started working in my life, and my attitude.  He started taking my focus off me, and onto Him, and others.  I started thanking Him—that He was still the King of Kings, and the Lord of Lords.  He had not left His throne.  (It sure felt like He had—but the truth was—He had not)—He is in charge over life and death.  He still knew the plans He had for us, to give us a future and a hope.  He still knew us before the foundation of the world and knew the number of days we would each have on this earth.  He is still sovereign over the affairs of men.

This week, I went to our community’s school board meeting.  I have homeschooled my children, but my grandchildren attend public schools, so I wanted to see this meeting.   They were talking about a variety of issues that people have conflicting opinions about, (i.e.  masks, critical race theory, LBGTQ, etc, etc.)

There was a great deal of passion and some anger in that room.  After the meeting, I went to talk to the Superintendent of the school board, and I told her how much I appreciated her calmness in the room.  Beside her was my neighbor, who is an administrator of the schools.  I told them that I would be praying for them in this coming year and thanked them for doing their jobs in the midst of a very difficult season of life.

 My daughter-in-law is a teacher, and this past year, I have taken her lunch and her baby to nurse during her lunch break, and so I have seen and heard first-hand the struggles and trials of the teachers as they seek to teach our children, during the age of Covid.

What is the point of all of this—we have all been tested this year.  We have been pruned.  We have been put in situations where we have gotten angry with each other.  We are annoyed with each other.  We have differences of opinion with each other.  We feel powerless, and out of control.

I am here to say—that is ok.  We never did have power.  We never did have control.  The Bible tells us to be angry, but do not sin.  What does that mean?  Some things should make us angry—to see evil oppressing and winning the day—that should make us angry.  But our battle is not against flesh and blood.  What does that mean?  It means we are fighting a spiritual battle—against Satan and all under his dominion, and God has already won the war.  He won it on the cross, two thousand years ago.   He bought us back from the Kingdom of darkness, and into His Kingdom of light and Holiness. 

We experience the reality of that victory through our faith and trust in God and His Word.  We experience the reality of that victory as we spend time with God and His Word, as we pray in faith, and appropriate His power in faith, in the spiritual realms.

We need to rest in the victory that God has already brought us through the cross, and rest in Him—as soon—every knee will bow and every tongue confess that Jesus is Lord!! 

 We can love each other with the love of the Lord!!

 We can be kind to those we disagree with—for it is the kindness of the Lord, that leads to repentance.  It is the kindness of the Lord that leads to repentance.  Romans  2:4

And it is the pruning of the Lord—the discipline of the Lord—that leads to our Holiness—that we may experience the reality of the freedom that Jesus sacrificed to give us and bear the image of our Father—to the world. 

So that we can bloom!!

So let’s be encouraged!!

 Heb 12:1

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.

 Heb 12:2

We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting Him, He endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now He is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne.

(Pro 3:11, 12 )

 Heb 12:3

Think of all the hostility He endured from sinful people; then you won’t become weary and give up.

 Heb 12:4

After all, you have not yet given your lives in your struggle against sin.

 Heb 12:5

And have you forgotten the encouraging words God spoke to you as His children? He said,
“My child, don’t make light of the LORD’s discipline,
and don’t give up when He corrects you.

 Heb 12:6

For the LORD disciplines those He loves,
and He punishes each one he accepts as His child.”

 Heb 12:7

As you endure this divine discipline, remember that God is treating you as His own children. Who ever heard of a child who is never disciplined by its father?

 Heb 12:8

If God doesn’t discipline you as He does all of His children, it means that you are illegitimate and are not really His children at all.

 Heb 12:9

Since we respected our earthly fathers who disciplined us, shouldn’t we submit even more to the discipline of the Father of our spirits, and live forever?

 Heb 12:10

For our earthly fathers disciplined us for a few years, doing the best they knew how. But God’s discipline is always good for us, so that we might share in His holiness.

 Heb 12:11

No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.

The Gift of Hind Sight

Published on by katiesencouragementforyou3 Comments

Do you ever look back, and see the hand of God in your life, taking care of you, providing opportunities, guiding you and directing your path?   I call this the gift of hindsight.

 When I look back it is so clear to me, how God took care of us, but when I was living that moment, it wasn’t clear at all.  I think one of the reasons for this, is that I have my plan, and when that plan gets derailed, I feel frustration, disappointment and sometimes despair.

I’d like to share with you some of the ways God provided for us, to encourage you.  God is the same, yesterday, today and tomorrow– (Hebrews 13:8).  He can be counted on.  We, however, are all different from one another.  The Bible calls us the Body of Christ. (Romans 12:4,5:  Just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, so it is with Christ’s body, we are many parts of one body, and we all belong to one another.)  In other words –We have different purposes because we make up different parts of the “Body of Christ.”  So, when I share my story, please look at what God is doing and what is true about Him.  I hope you don’t compare yourself to me or judge me—as we were made differently, for different purposes.  We are both needed, we are both necessary, we are both loved, but I may be the mouth of the body, and you may be the eye.  Would you really want to live without either one?

So, here goes—When my husband and I were young parents, God was leading us to do something we thought rather drastic.  He was leading us to trust Him for our finances, and for me to stay home with our children.  We had both graduated from college.  We had careers, yet we were going to live off one income and I was going to be the one to stay home.

 My husband really wanted to start his own Construction Company, but he didn’t think he had enough experience, so, he took a job as a Resident Hall Director at a University, (which included housing and food–making it easy for me to stay at home with our child), so that he could get another degree, making him more marketable in the professional world.  Then a year into the job, the University closed two of its dorms and my husband lost his job.  At the time, we were devastated.  We had our plan– and that plan was changed.

My husband was offered a job by a local construction company.  He was offered $6 an hour, which was a little more than minimum wage at the time.  When we prayed and asked God about what we should do, it seemed clear that this was the way God wanted us to pursue my husband’s dream of having a construction company.

We didn’t know how we were going to live on the wages, my husband would be making.  Yet God was clearly asking us to trust Him and depend on Him.  He was asking us to walk by faith.   So—we did.  It felt a bit like free falling, but as we walked with God, it became clear why He was the rock– the foundation, we could stand on.  (Matthew 7:24-27)

 Our first concern was housing—where could we afford to live?  Well, the people my husband worked for had several rentals, and they were willing to rent to us.  The apartment was a bit expensive for our current salary, but for apartments in the area, it was very reasonable, I think we paid $440 dollars a month.

Our second concern was food—we had a very small budget—I think it was $30 a week for groceries, (this was 26 years ago—but that was still low at the time.)  I learned to use 1 chicken to make three different meals—roast chicken, chicken pot pie, and chicken soup.  I made everything from scratch, because it was less expensive.  I would make up a menu for the week, write down my grocery list, and estimate how much everything was going to cost.  I would go to the store, and time and time again, the things on my list were on sale that week.  Coincidence—I don’t think so—I think that was God’s graciousness to us.

 Our third concern was clothing.  We didn’t really buy new clothes at this time, we used what we had, later however, when money wasn’t quite so tight, we would shop at discount stores, second-hand stores, and garage sales.  Our family would give us gifts of clothes and family and friends would give us hand-me-downs.   We weren’t and aren’t too proud to accept hand me downs, and we gave and give away a lot of hand-me-downs too.  God has used these support systems to help meet our needs many times, and hopefully has used us to meet others’ needs as well. 

One of the biggest gifts from God at this time of our lives was a house we could afford to own ourselves.  We had been renting since we were married, and we really wanted to have our own home.  My husband had been taking side jobs outside of his regular construction job, and we saved this money to make a down payment on a house.  However, we knew it would take an act of God to bring us a house that we could afford to live in.

Then a friend of mine told me about a house that had been given to our church.  It was over a hundred years old, and it needed everything—roof, furnace, electrical and plumbing.  It had layers and layers of wallpaper on the walls.  It had great bones: beautiful hard wood floors, 11-foot ceilings, deep base boards—truly a diamond in the rough. 

This house became our first home.  We could afford this house; we bought it for $27,000!!  It was less expensive to live in this home than it was to rent.  We had enough for the down payment and enough to reroof the house!   My husband traded labor with a plumber and electrician, so we paid nothing out of pocket for our house to be replumbed and for a new electrical service.

Then we bought a furnace for $50!!  My husband was putting a new addition on a house, and the house needed a new furnace for the extra square footage, so the owner sold us their older furnace for $50.

These are just a few ways that God graciously provided for us and blessed us!!   Within three years of my husband taking the job in construction, we started our own construction company.  We have been in business for 24 years!!

 I am glad that when I look at the past, I see God leading us, and I see us following God.  Sometimes I see us following grumbling and complaining.  Sometimes I see us following, in great pain, but still following. Sometimes, I see our disobedience and rebellion—when we thought we knew better than God did and went our own way.   Many times, I see God carrying us, because we had no strength.

I am grateful for the gift of Hindsight, that allows me to see God’s will being played out in our lives.  God tells us to look back and remember His works and His acts, (1 Chronicles 6:12),  so when we are faced with faith hurdles in the present, we remember how He helped us jump those hurdles in the past and trust Him in the present as well.

 I hope that in sharing our stories, it will encourage you in your own walk of faith, to look back at how God was faithful to lead you and provide for you, so that you can continue to follow Him in your life today.

So Be Encouraged!!

The Gift of Grace

Published on by katiesencouragementforyou13 Comments

When I brought my firstborn home from the hospital, I taped a poster next to the changing table that had visual instructions of how to change a diaper, how to give a bath, how to take care of the umbilical cord.  For the next few weeks, every single time I had to do one of those things I would study that poster as if it held the secrets of the universe.

When my first born was a few months old, he stubbed his toe, jumping in a jumping chair.  I bawled my eyes out.  I was devastated with his little injury.

Forward 21 years—I was preparing to teach a class, (for a homeschool co-op), my husband was home from work, and Sean, our sixteen-year-old was leaving to go for a bike ride.  Sean wanted to be a bike racer, and frequently went on training bike rides. 

My husband is a first responder and firefighter and wears a pager.  We heard the pager go off about 15 minutes after Sean left for his training ride, stating that a bicyclist had been hit by a vehicle.  My husband knew it was where Sean was planning on riding, so he shot out of his chair, and was out the door, yelling, “Try to contact Sean on his cell phone.”   I called and called, sent message, after message.  Then I got a call from my husband. 

“It’s Sean.  Take the girls to Gail’s and meet me at the hospital.”  I called my friend, Gail and took the girls to her house.   I tried to reach our son who was with his track team.   I met my husband at the hospital and was told that Sean would be medevacked to Hurley in Flint.  I held Sean’s hand as they wheeled the stretcher to the helicopter.  I could have sworn, Sean was squeezing my hand as hard as I was squeezing his.  I kept repeating to Sean, “It’s Mom, I’m here with you, I’m here with you.”

My husband and I drove down to Flint from Mt. Pleasant.  As we did so, I called my mom who lived only 20 minutes away from Flint, asking her to go to the hospital, and to call my sister and brother-in-law who lived in Grand Blanc and ask them to go to the hospital as it would take us at least an hour and a half to get there.

During this entire time, a calmness descended upon me.  I was completely calm and at peace and an amazing strength descended upon me.  The calmness stayed as my friend Leah called and asked Rich if we  wanted her to drive the kids down, (by this time we had gotten a hold of our son with the track team and he was home), and without thinking, I just said— “yes, bring the kids down, have them prepared to spend the night, and yes, bring clothes for us.”  Then I told her where to find our necessities.  I was making decisions without wavering, without even thinking, again, it was as if Someone else was talking and walking through me. 

 Our eldest son and wife came from Monroe.  Family members started arriving.  Friends started to arrive.   Through it all, I remained by Sean’s side, thinking in my mind—I need to be with him as much as I possibly can, I might never get to be with him on this earth again.  I continually sang to him and touched him. 

People were wailing when we were told the news that Sean was brain dead.  I was calm.   I remained calm during the planning of the events—donating Sean’s organs, planning the visitation and memorial service.   I remained calm when I spoke at the memorial service.  I spoke, my husband spoke, and our children spoke—we were all calm.  When I look at the video—(a friend of ours took it and posted it on YouTube,—so people who weren’t able to get to the service could see the service),  I see again the Hand of God at work, there is no other way to explain the power and peace emanating from us.

This past year, I was describing this experience to some friends.  We were all talking about a time when we were brave, and I said, this was my time, but it wasn’t my braveness, as I felt like I was literally being picked up and carried.

 Sean went to a few local youth groups, and a youth pastor came to the hospital with his dad, who was the senior pastor, to pray with us.  The youth pastor did a sermon this past year that a friend sent me— in it he talked about how he would hope to respond the way I did if he were ever in a similar crisis.  When I heard him, I thought—but that wasn’t really me—that was God, carrying me.

I’ve had people tell me how strong I am.  I usually just nod my head.  Inside, I think, no, I’m not strong— I have been beset by anxiety and fear, that is God carrying me.

I remember reading the book, “The Hiding Place” by Corrie Ten Boom.  She was in a Nazi Concentration Camp.  She relayed a conversation she had with her father, when she was very young, wondering how she would be able to endure if she ever had to go through a difficult time.  Her dad told her that when they rode the train, he held onto her ticket until she needed it, then he gave it to her.  He said, that’s what God does with His grace.  He gives it to us when we need it, at the time we need it.

I have experienced this.  God gave me His grace, just when I really needed it.  He gave me His strength at the time I needed it. 

I sit here writing this, crying, feeling such pain.  I’ve been here before.  I’ll be here again—in a state of utter pain.  It still hurts to remember the events of that week. 

However, when I remember, I remember being in that state of grace, where I was wrapped in the presence of God, the One who has promised to never leave.  Hebrews 13:5   He now holds my Sean, and death does not hold Sean.  Our Lord has overcome death and sin.  1 Corinthians 15:57

I am encouraged when I remember these things. I am encouraged, knowing that when I need His grace, He will be there, He will show up.  He has promised this grace to us.  He has said, “….My Grace is sufficient for you….”  2 Corinthians 12:9   I am here to say, “Yes, during the worst times of your life—His Grace is enough.  He is enough.”   So—Be Encouraged!!