October 21, 2022

This is the Thirteenth Year Since my Dad has passed–I wrote this letter to friends and family the Christmas after he passed, and I would like to share it again with you all.

Dear Family and Friends, Christmas 2009
This year, my siblings and I lost our Dad. Our mother lost her husband of 52 years. Many of you lost a brother, brother-in-law, uncle, Grandpa, cousin– a friend.
I’ve lived long enough to know that not all Dads were like mine. I was one of the lucky ones. I had a Dad who was involved and committed to his family: he loved his wife, children and grandkids. My Dad wasn’t one of the lucky ones. He overcame a very painful childhood. He wanted things to be different for his own family, and it was— in large part because of his faithful helpmate and soul mate—my dearest mother.
So many of my childhood memories involve my Dad doing things with us, taking us skating, sledding, camping, and swimming. When I was in High School I decided to join the track team– my Dad ran with me every day to get me in shape for the track season. My Dad was a great runner himself, and in many ways I think my Dad was trying to get me ready to run the race of life. We would run, and he would tell me stories, trying to impart his own passion and drive into my approach to running, into my approach to life.
It was my Uncle Jimmy, not my Dad, who told us the story of my Dad running in the State finals. He was the only white runner in the race. The other racers turned to him, and said, “Hey white boy, what are you doing in this race.” My Dad replied with a grin, “You’re about to find out”, and he went on to win the race.”
My brother Patrick summed it up so well, he said Dad has taught us and trained us in so many ways to live life. My brothers got to be with my Dad when he died, and Patrick said that Dad had one more lesson to teach them, he taught them how to die– he wrote the last chapter for them on how a life should be lived.
The biggest lesson my Dad taught me was to never give up. Our sins and failings may bring us down, but they don’t have to keep us down. My Dad was a man of faith; he learned to receive God’s forgiveness and extend it to others. This was not easy for him–sometimes the hardest person he had to forgive was himself.
The night that he died, I sensed my Dad’s presence, and he was so happy. My Dad came to say goodbye. He was finally going home—to his true home, he had finished his race, and he had finished it well.
Whenever I go to a funeral and see the body—I am struck with the fact that all of us are “living souls”. That is what the Bible calls us. It is so apparent to me that the soul of the person has passed on.
God is offering each of us “living souls” an eternal relationship with Him. He wants to give us the gift of His love and forgiveness. This is the true gift of Christmas— “The wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ, our Lord.” Romans 6:23 What we have earned is a spiritual death, because we have each sinned against God and each other. Instead of what we have earned, God desires to give us an eternal relationship with Him—Jesus’ death took away the penalty of that spiritual death and replaced it with life. But like any gift—it must be received for it to become truly ours.
In so many ways, my earthly father taught me this. I could never earn the love he freely gave me—but to experience that love, I had to receive it as the gift it was.

On another note–October 21st is my husband’s dad birthday!! I wrote about my husband’s dad in the blog titled September 23, 2013.

The biggest lesson, I have learned from both of these dads–is the lesson of forgiveness and perseverance. They both finished their races in life. They finished well. I think that is so encouraging, as it is a testimony of the faithfulness of God. We can be encouraged by those who have gone before us–for if God was faithful to them, He will be faithful to us!! (Philippians 1:6)

So Be Encouraged!!

October 21, 2019

This is the Ten Year Anniversary of my Dad’s Passing. I would like to share a Christmas Letter, I wrote almost 10 years ago in honor of my Dad.

Dear Family and Friends, Christmas 2009
This year, my siblings and I lost our Dad. Our mother lost her husband of 52 years. Many of you lost a brother, brother-in-law, uncle, Grandpa, cousin– a friend.
I’ve lived long enough to know that not all Dads were like mine. I was one of the lucky ones. I had a Dad who was involved and committed to his family: he loved his wife, children and grandkids. My Dad wasn’t one of the lucky ones. He overcame a very painful childhood. He wanted things to be different for his own family, and it was— in large part because of his faithful helpmate and soul mate—my dearest mother.
So many of my childhood memories involve my Dad doing things with us, taking us skating, sledding, camping, and swimming. When I was in High School I decided to join the track team– my Dad ran with me every day to get me in shape for the track season. My Dad was a great runner himself, and in many ways I think my Dad was trying to get me ready to run the race of life. We would run, and he would tell me stories, trying to impart his own passion and drive into my approach to running, into my approach to life.
It was my Uncle Jimmy, not my Dad, who told us the story of my Dad running in the State finals. He was the only white runner in the race. The other racers turned to him, and said, “Hey white boy, what are you doing in this race.” My Dad replied with a grin, “You’re about to find out”, and he went on to win the race.”
My brother Patrick summed it up so well, he said Dad has taught us and trained us in so many ways to live life. My brothers got to be with my Dad when he died, and Patrick said that Dad had one more lesson to teach them, he taught them how to die– he wrote the last chapter for them on how a life should be lived.
The biggest lesson my Dad taught me was to never give up. Our sins and failings may bring us down, but they don’t have to keep us down. My Dad was a man of faith; he learned to receive God’s forgiveness and extend it to others. This was not easy for him–sometimes the hardest person he had to forgive was himself.
The night that he died, I sensed my Dad’s presence, and he was so happy. My Dad came to say goodbye. He was finally going home—to his true home, he had finished his race, and he had finished it well.
Whenever I go to a funeral and see the body—I am struck with the fact that all of us are “living souls”. That is what the Bible calls us. It is so apparent to me that the soul of the person has passed on.
God is offering each of us “living souls” an eternal relationship with Him. He wants to give us the gift of His love and forgiveness. This is the true gift of Christmas— “The wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ, our Lord.” Romans 6:23 What we have earned is a spiritual death, because we have each sinned against God and each other. Instead of what we have earned, God desires to give us an eternal relationship with Him—Jesus’ death took away the penalty of that spiritual death and replaced it with life. But like any gift—it must be received for it to become truly ours.
In so many ways, my earthly father taught me this. I could never earn the love he freely gave me—but to experience that love, I had to receive it as the gift it was.

On another note–October 21st is my husband’s dad birthday!! I wrote about my husband’s dad in the blog titled September 23, 2013.

The biggest lesson, I have learned from both of these dads–is the lesson of forgiveness and perseverance. They both finished their races in life. They finished well. I think that is so encouraging, as it is a testimony of the faithfulness of God. We can be encouraged by those who have gone before us–for if God was faithful to them, He will be faithful to us!! (Philippians 1:6)

So Be Encouraged!!

It’s a Sunshine Day!!

Recently, my husband and I watched The Brady Bunch Renovation.  (We grew up watching The Brady Bunch).  Watching The Brady Bunch Renovation brought back so many memories.   I remember gathering at my friend’s house after school to watch The Brady Bunch.   Even now when I catch a snippet of the show, I am flooded with ‘feel-good’ memories. (I’m hoping this blog’s color scheme of olive green and orange will bring back memories of the Brady Bunch’s kitchen. 🙂 )

 What is it about The Brady Bunch, that had so many in my generation so involved?  I really don’t know.  I do know what I liked about it—I liked that Mr. and Mrs. Brady found happiness with each other, and their respective families after experiencing loss and tragedy.  I liked that the children were given the love and security of a new family after experiencing insecurity and devastation when they lost a parent.  (This was the time of my life when my cousins lost both of their parents, and I wanted them to have a new beginning—a new family and a happy life.) 

 I also liked the order in the family.  Mr. and Mrs. Brady were definitely– in charge.  The kids were respectful to their parents.  The parents were respectful to the children—but still definitely in charge.  Alice was respectful to Mr. and Mrs. Brady and the children, and they were respectful to her.  (I love the character of Alice—and honestly, who wouldn’t want an Alice in their family—someone to cook and clean—what a dream!! I remember telling my mom, that I was going to have a maid when I grew up, and my mom laughed and said, “I have four of them—referring to me and my three sisters. I didn’t think that was as funny as my mom did. )

I could relate to The Brady Bunch because there were 6 children in my family.  There was also order in my family.  My parents were definitely– in charge.  My siblings and I were respectful to our parents.  (Of course, that respect was reinforced with consequences, just as the Brady Bunch kids received consequences for their wrong choices, so did we.)  It was a world I knew, and within which I felt comfortable and safe.

I remember when my oldest son was 10 years old and he discovered “The Hardy Boys” book series.  Apparently, the books had an impact on him, as he started wearing button-down oxford shirts and khaki pants and calling his dad, “Sir”.    Others started noticing him calling his dad “Sir” and commenting on it in a negative way.  They thought that my husband and I were too strict and made our son say, “Sir” when addressing his dad.    I was a bit shocked by that response, as I thought it was kind of cute and it was respectful.

 One of the college students who worked for us noticed that my husband sought and asked for my opinion and thought that was so amazing.  Something that we thought was a natural way of treating each other, was extraordinary in his eyes.

I had a family example to share here, but the person involved asked me not to share it.  Since I am talking about respect, I am going to respect that person’s input and not share this example, except to say that I have been asking God to help us be more loving and respectful of each other in our family.

God’s answer to my request for wisdom is simple actually, “treat people in the same way that you would have them treat you…..” Matthew 7:12

The problem is—it is so easy to see how others are treating me wrong, and not as easy to see how I am treating others wrong.  God tells us in Matthew 7:5  “…take the log out of your own eye, and then you can see clearly before you try to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.”

This is where I need God’s help—to open my eyes and cause me to see the truth about myself and how I am really treating others.  God has said, “You shall know the truth and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32

I am trusting that God’s Spirit will show me the truth—of how I can be more respectful, more kind, more loving.    Perhaps as each of us ask God’s Spirit to show us the truth to help us change into more loving, respectful people, our families will change into loving, respectful families!!  Then it will really be —“a sunshine day”!!  (this is a lyric in a song the Brady kids sang.) Here’s a link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NaCCG7QkM_c

   So Be Encouraged!!