Today, I thought, “I think I’ll call Marilyn today.”, and then as soon as I thought about it, I realized, “I can’t call Marilyn, she’s gone.”

Marilyn is my mother-in-law.  I say “is” because although she has passed on to the next life, she is still living, and we are still connected through her son.

Marilyn passed in the summer of 2020, at the age of 90.

April is Marilyn’s birthday month, so I find my thoughts going to her during this month.  I find myself wishing I could pick up the phone and call her.

She used to tell me stories about my husband, times when he was a baby, a toddler, a young child, a young man, times when I had not yet met or known my husband.   She was so proud of her son, she was so proud of her children.

My husband swam competitively in High School and College.  He was offered a full scholarship to Boston University to swim.  My mother-in-law did not think it was a good enough school for him so she had him turn it down.  She told me, this was a great regret of hers—as my husband went out of state to college, and he never returned.

She thought if he would have gone to college in Boston–he might never have left Massachusetts.

She loved her son and her grandchildren so much–she hated to be apart from them.

I used to tell her that if he had not left MA, he would not have met me, and she might not have any grandchildren.

She would then say, “That’s true, I never imagined him getting married at all.”

It’s funny the things we look back on and regret, and wish we had done it differently–things that in reality made us who we are.  Things that we learned from—some things we learned from to never to go that way again, and some things we reaped the benefits of those choices.

I’ve been learning about forgiving myself and others, and receiving God’s forgiveness.  Part of forgiving myself and others is realizing that my brokenness, my regrets, my scars—they brought me to Jesus in the first place for that forgiveness.  Jesus was broken, was scarred, was crucified for me and for you.

Jesus died for this forgiveness to be possible.  I have determined not to take this great sacrifice of His for granted.   I will ask for forgiveness from God, from others and from myself, and I will extend forgiveness to others and to myself.  

This is a time of new beginnings.  This is a time of hope and forgiveness.  This is Spring.  This is why we celebrated Easter.  This is Joy!!

May We be Encouraged!!